Creativity kits for kids!

CIHHV-6 and Us

It’s been a while since I’ve written about the HHV-6 Foundation that I started working with shortly after Kaden died last year. The involvement is sporadic since we’re just starting to see how widespread this is, and there is very little information on it all. While most people contract HHV-6 at some point: “Human Herpesvirus 6 (HHV-6) is a set of two closely related herpes viruses known as HHV-6A and HHV-6B that infect nearly all human beings, typically before the age of two.” – HHV-6 Foundation - ours is chromosomally  integrated – so it’s in our DNA. 

Here’s what we do know:

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On Homeschooling Bella

About a month ago, we enrolled Bella at the CDC (Child Development Center) a little ways down the road from our home. It’s an on post child care and early school program that is highly monitored and adorable to boot.

We’ve loved it. I have her going about 3 times a week for a few hours – either so I can work or be in therapy.

Bella's Classroom

A few weeks ago, one of the teachers approached me about her upcoming class for the school year. It’s a morning preschool/PreK and she thought Bella would be a great fit. She showed me her classroom and the teacher inside of me wanted to pack my bags and move in. It was so perfect, with a schedule for the kids I couldn’t have made any more delightful.

I went home and suddenly doubted my desire to homeschool. After all, it was only 8-11am. We could homeschool in the afternoons. I would have time to work and clean, run errands. Bella would be with friends in a wonderful environment and with a great teacher.

What pulled me the most was the thought of normalcy that would come with it. I could be a room mom. My daughter would be in a school setting. After all the things that we’ve had to work through, this would just look so normal to everyone from the outside. We could seem – ok. That was a very huge draw for my heart.

Yet. 

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Count It All Joy {or Trying To}

Today I woke up with the thought, “It feels like God hates me.”

It really does lately. Either He forgot about me, or He’s just having a grand time ruining my life while letting everyone else have a semi normal one. I don’t get it.

So many of you have reached out to me this week – thank you. Like each time we face some trial over the past 4 years, you guys are always there. I’ve been MIA from social media (and still am) because I want to focus on our family right now, with some writing. I did want to let you know that this didn’t involve a baby of our own, we have no intention of getting pregnant again because of the ciHHV-6 virus that my pregnancies activate.

Part of the mess involves an adoption we’ve been working on for the past 2 1/2 months, and the mom (due in October) changed her mind this past week. Totally unrelated to anything else we’re dealing with, but a big hit. We understood it was her right and choice, and I am hopeful that things work out for her and this little one, but it still hurts. It wasn’t something we pursued but rather came to us unexpectedly, and we moved forward in faith, trusting that God had a plan in it. We were waiting to announce anything until the homestudy was approved, and it is. Finalized on Kaden’s birthday through a wonderful agency we’ve worked with since June. It approves us for any age of child up to a year younger than Bella.

That is one of the brightest parts in this all.

The rest is still being worked through, and again, unrelated to the adoption.

Anyway, in the midst of these thoughts of, “Why me, why us, why again do we have to go through more pain?” was the sudden realization this afternoon of something I’d prayed time and again these past few months. That Christ would do whatever He wanted in my life for His will. Whatever it took, that He would use my talents, time, mistakes, and humanity to further His kingdom.

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Hi.

I dislike vague blogs/posts/booking as much as the next person. But I’ve been silent on here for a little too long – and so you’re going to get that today.

Please pray for us. For our family, for Sam, for Bella, our life. We were going to come on here this week to share amazing news that we’d waited months to share, but in a horrible turn of events and decisions, we’re now looking at, yet again, a completely different life.

We are ok. We are safe. We are clinging to faith and I’m clinging to the hope that Jesus truly is the Great Redeemer because man – just when you think life can’t get much worse, it can. Oh friends, it truly can.

Be in prayer for us as we face some of the most trying, stressful, difficult days of our lives. Pray for wisdom in hard moments, for a reminder that true wealth lies in Christ and not our stuff, and for discernment in the days ahead.

Again, I’m sorry for the “Life just changed for the worse but don’t ask why” post, but I didn’t want to stay silent on here indefinitely. Besides – “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” I know this doesn’t mean our prayers will be answered, but God will be there. 

We need Him, and your prayers, here with us.

Prayers (and First Birthdays) for Nella

Prayers for Nella

Tomorrow, I’m leaving to fly to Kansas City until Monday. It might seem random, but it’s actually for a really special reason. Nella, the little girl in the picture above, is turning one. And since she was diagnosed with SMA Type 1 (spinal muscular atrophy) early on, this is huge. She wasn’t expected to live to 6  months and here she is – almost 1.

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