I don’t know if I believe in miracles anymore. I really don’t. I did even after Preston and Julian died. It was tremedously awful but scientifically, it made sense. I was a high risk pregnancy. Bella was born on the cusp of preterm.
But Kaden. Kaden changed everything for me. I prayed. You prayed. So many people prayed and cried and pleaded with God.
Not their family.
Not this baby.
I believed until the day I got the call to pick up his ashes that we would get a miracle. Somehow, God would make this right. He wouldn’t let me go through all that pain and a pregnancy full of trauma, anxiety, and tears just to lose my rainbow baby.
Yet He did.
So I have a hard time with miracles.
Yet even in my doubt and anger, I still find my heart crying out to God for them.