Famous Last Words
Ah. So many things I remember thinking/saying before I had a child. Things that I look back on now and cringe/laugh/shake my head in disbelief.
Today’s post is one of saying “Sorry” and to admit some of my more embarrassing moments. Here we go:
I’m sorry that –
– I ever judged a mom with only one child who looked like she had just survived a tornado, a car wreck, and a nuclear bomb and thought, “Really, how can you just let yourself go? It’s only one kid – you can’t even look clean?”
– I thought my friends with kids were selfish because they forgot about me all the time. Two weeks to call me back and you said you forgot? What?
– I ever wondered how you could gain weight after having kids. Some days I realize I spent the entire day on the couch holding a baby, only to use the bathroom in my “down” time.
– I never appreciated the fact that my mother managed to work full time, pregnant, at 39, with her 4th child.
I laugh because:
– I thought that I would never want to be a SAHM. Because it was boring. Boring!
– I vowed to myself I would always manage to get up, take a shower, put on makeup and be a “cute mom”. Some days I’m glad for clothes that don’t show stains. Or smell too bad. And heavy perfume has become my best friend.
– I figured breastfeeding was simple. Women have done it for years. How hard was it? 3 months of a nipple shield proved me wrong.
– I was determined not to have an epidural. (Heaven in a needle, people. God created anesthesiologists special.)
– I knew, just knew, I would never co-sleep with my child. They belonged in their own bed. Now the only thing that gets Bella to sleep is next to me. And I love it. Even if I do wake up with one arm asleep and a sore neck.
– I thought by 3 months Bella would be sleeping through the night. Or at least longer than two hour intervals.
– I used to think umbilical cords were cut and then snapped back up inside of you. Like a tape measure. I think I was 7 months pregnant when I realized it didn’t work that way. Thank you 5th grade sex ed.
So there’s my list of shame. If you post yours on your blog, leave a link and let me know. I’ll come visit. It’ll make me feel better.