Guest Blogger Law Momma!
Please welcome my first guest blogger – Law Momma from her blog Spilled Milk! I found her on twitter one day, and was so captured by her humor and quick wit of really awful situations, I followed her. (On Twitter, not in real life. That’s creepy.) I soon found her blog and in one afternoon read the whole thing. After that I had pretty much decided she was about the coolest person ever. Her son J is adorable and she works as a lawyer. So if she’s this quick on funny things in real life, imagine her in the courtroom. Here she is, to give us her take on excessive baby blankets and the dangers of buying shiny objects. Enjoy!
Guest blogger. It sounds so official and I feel a little overwhelmed at the prospect of so many new eyes reading my thoughts and ideas. I also am not quite sure I’m up for the task. So in case I don’t ever get this opportunity again, I’d like to start by throwing up my arms and dancing around while singing “Nanny nanny boo boo, I’m a guest blogger.”
There. Now that that is out of my system, where to begin. I was given the freedom to talk about anything I want which is terrifying. I think if Diana could see inside my head she would have placed a few limitations on me. There are a lot of ways this could go, but in order to preserve the trust she has in me, I’ve decided to talk about baby showers.
When I was pregnant with J, I had an indecent number of baby showers. Seriously. My family lives in North Carolina and I’m in Georgia. As a result, my friends from back home threw me a shower in my hometown, my friends from Georgia threw one where I live here, and Husband’s cousin threw a third one for his family. Oh yeah, and my office threw one as well. So I had ample opportunities to stock up on baby goodies. Now that I’m six months in to this whole parenting thing, I have a much greater insight into the whole “shower” process and I wish we could go back and do it all again with greater precision. With all my experience “showering” and now with (only) six months of parenting under my belt, I have some words of wisdom for baby shower shoppers:
First, unless you are a best friend, a godmother, or a friend or relative who sews your own, DO NOT BUY BABY BLANKETS. I hate to say this because they really are so stinking cute, but I think we must have gotten seventy-five blankets. Seriously. It’s an easy thing to pick up for someone you don’t know well, but unless you’re getting a blanket off their registry, do the new parents a favor and don’t buy it.
Second, be creative. I know Nancy New Mom and Patty Parent spent a lot of time going bonkers with the zappy gun at Target and Babies-R-Us, but keep in mind that she is a first-time mom. Neither of them have the slightest clue what they’re doing. My entire registry was formed entirely by “ooh! Shiny!” moments and a list of things the manufacturers told me to purchase. If you’re a mom, try and remember that and buy things that are *useful* even if they aren’t on my registry. Bar none, the best gift I got was from a co-worker’s wife who gave me a “goodie bag” full of baby medicines and diapers. Now that’s a gift I’ve really made use of. I could have used seventy-five bottles of Mylicon versus the blankets, thank you very much. And on that same note, don’t buy the wipes warmer, the self-heating bottle warmer or any other fancy trinket just because it’s on the registry. If you know that the odds of anyone using the fancy new “Diapering is Easy with New Hand-less diapers” Gizmo are really slim to none, don’t buy it. Even if it is in your price range.
And finally, baby clothes. Ah yes. Everyone’s favorite (or second favorite behind blankets) purchase for showers. I know you are just dying to buy that frilly pink dress or those seer-sucker overalls. But again, think about what you are doing. If the kid is being born in late August, don’t buy 6 month sized clothes that are short sleeves. It’s just common sense. Just like no one needs five billion “Baby’s First Christmas” outfits, summer clothes the baby will outgrow before January are shower no-no.
I don’t want this to come off as ungrateful because we were truly truly happy with everything we got when we got it. I’m just saying in retrospect that there were some things we could have done without. Like the giant neon green polka-dotted bunny rabbit that freaks me out and is hidden in the top of a closet in the hopes that mice will eat it before it has the chance to come to life and kill us in our sleep. Less scary rabbits, more burp cloths!
The moral of this story is… think before you buy. If your gut instinct is to buy the orange and pink striped velour overalls with the detachable hood that says “Mommy’s Little Pooper” maybe just think about it for a second. You know, mull it over. If the urge is strong, ask yourself “What Would Law Momma Do” and put down the velour and make a beeline for the diaper aisle. Seriously, you can never go wrong with diapers.