Yesterday I wrote the post, “You might not make it.”
I thought your responses were amazingly honest and candid. I wanted to talk on a few of them. If you see the red dot – it’s the part of the post that really struck me.
Tiffany from Mom-Nom
made me nod my head in agreement. Dooce wrote a post once on haters that made me think about what she must go through every day with people that hide behind the anonymity of a computer screen and seethe in jealousy.
I remember reading Blair’s PPD confession and someone saying (paraphrasing), “You should have told us instead of pretending everything was fine, why do you have to lie?” Um, last time I checked – it’s her blog. And no where does it say once you have followers you have to fillet your inner soul as soon as something happens to you in life to keep it real. That comment made me think, “It must be tough to have so many followers that they feel you owe them something.”
After coming to terms with the fact that at one point Blair at The Heir to Blair
had no readers 🙂 I thought about what she had said. That’s a scary thing to do once you know people are following you. It’s hard to blog openly and pretend like no one is going to read it.
There are certain things I write that at times I hesitate and think, “Should I say this?” But since the beginning, my blog has been read by family and friends, so I’ve gotten comfortable with the fact that by now, each person who knows me also understands that I pee in the shower. (Disclaimer: In my shower only. So I’m still ok to stay the night at your house.)
Confession time – I mention Dooce
here and there in my posts, but like Amy from Somebody’s Parents
I’ve only read her once or twice. Honestly, when I first got on Twitter and saw her, I thought she was Lance Armstrong’s sister or something. True story. I had no idea who she was. I’m sure she’s really funny and a great blogger, but I’ve never gotten into her. I think it’s the 10 years of blogging thing that overwhelms me. Where do you start? That’s a lot of history to catch up on.
Which I understand – Sarah from Sprout Reviews
offers thoughts/reviews on products on her blog. If people didn’t read or weren’t interested – why would she keep going? She offers a type of service (and the products she finds are great).
Basically I had a mini stroke when I logged on this morning and saw this comment from Scary Mommy
– whom I adore
. Also, this comment totally made me sigh with relief because I was beginning to think I was the only one of you all that felt this way.
I edited this down because the comment was too long to fit, but the last part was what I wanted to write on. You know, finally. 🙂
Let me share something with you. When I was little, and even older, I wrote and told stories. I used to type them up or write them in a notebook and as soon as I was done – guess what I would do? The same thing any child does that accomplishes something in life – I showed my parents. I made them read it and tell me what they thought.
I told stories to my siblings and all my nanny kids, and the best part was when they would die laughing, repeat part of it to their friends, or beg me to tell the rest.
Those people were my commenter’s. I got my reassurance, validation, and pats on the back from them. I feel like when you do something in life that you love, you want to be noticed. You want to be discovered. You want someone to say, “Yep, I feel the same way.”
So here’s my thoughts – if in 3 years I am where my blog is today – yes, I will be disappointed. Not because I blog strictly for feedback or pats on the back or to get noticed. But because I love to write, and if nothing changes, that means that the thing I love doing doesn’t really affect people. Not that it wouldn’t affect faithful, long time readers – just that it wouldn’t be the type of blog that gains any new interest.
My words might not be as meaningful as I want them to be. At that point, I might reevaluate what I’m doing. I might make my blog private to avoid getting bitter, or start keeping a different kind of blog. I don’t know that I would stop writing altogether, but I would change my direction. I’d try to figure out what I was doing wrong. I’d also see if my blogging was more of a, “OMG please comment!” than a honest look at my life and thoughts. If so – I would stop writing for a while.
If I didn’t want to know what you thought, I wouldn’t have a public blog. If I didn’t care what you thought, I wouldn’t be on Twitter and your blogs investing time in getting to know you. I don’t have aspirations to be the next big thing, but if nothing changed at all, the little girl in me would be upset.