Trying not to freak out.

June 28, 2010

I’m really trying. However, I might.

I’m so stressed out. SO. STRESSED. OUT.

I feel like crawling into bed and staying there till the house burns down and we get the insurance money to buy a new one and won’t have to short sale and ruin our credit sells. We had a house showing yesterday – nothing. So frustrating.

I have started to pack – but for what? And where?

Sam has to have somewhere to live when he starts his new job – but if the house doesn’t sell we’re faced with 2 housing payments. Since we can’t buy another till this sells, it’d have to be an apartment.

We have 4 cats. Try convincing a landlord that’s going to be a good thing.

Which means I’d probably have to live here with Bella for a while and Sam would come home on weekends. 🙁 Not the end of the world, but not the greatest plan.

Then there’s:

  • me finding a job to afford a new home
  • buying another car for a job which decreases available credit to buy a house
  • unpacking while working
  • figuring out Sam’s and my schedule along with daycare
  • finding a daycare 🙁
  • dealing with not so great credit after this house sells as a short sale
  • having multiple head explosions in the process

On top of that, Bella has decided to not take naps – or at least anything over 30 minutes. Although she is sleeping through the night so there’s a plus. She has been SO cranky the past few days.

It’s hard for me to think all day long, “Pretty soon it won’t be like this anymore. Someone else will be watching her/feeding her/putting her down for naps/changing her/kissing her.” I can’t think about it. I know I’ll only have to work part time but it still kills me. I love being at home with her.

Ah, to be rich. Or just really money savvy.

I think it’s too many unknowns. Too many things up in the air that have a million different solutions – yet each solution comes with another set of problems.

On top of that, I tend to overanalyze things. Surprise! I bet you had no idea about that. 😉

::runs off to pack/clean/torture myself with “if only’s” and try not to go insane::

18 Comments

  • hermione329

    June 30, 2010 at 12:04 am

    Hang in there sweetie. I know it's little comfort, but I am in the EXACT same boat as you. I have to be in Denver August 1st, have no place to live, housing prospects are not good, and my husband has no job. It's very stressful. Hang in there. You are doing the right thing and it will work out.

  • Law Momma

    June 29, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    deep breaths. And cookies. LOTS of cookies. 🙂

  • Melodramamma

    June 29, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    Diana, I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. Moving is tough! And, moving with a little one is harder. Hang in there. In the mean time, maybe some fun playdates/activities/ outings will help lift your spirits and get your mind off the stress of the house/moving.

  • Janelle

    June 28, 2010 at 11:11 pm

    I'm there with you girl. Except we aren't moving very far away, and are only trying to rent our current house, not sell it…but we have no clue how to rent and the whole process freaks me out!

    If it helps – I swear going to daycare did great things for my little guy. He goes 30 hrs a week and it seems to be a great balance of time with me/time with other kids his age. I'm sure it will all work out – but you are justified in your stresses!

  • metta1313

    June 28, 2010 at 9:42 pm

    Make a list. I'm a big list maker. Even if I don't have time to get things done/think about it all, I always feel better if at least I write it down. That helps so much with my anxiety and obsessive personality. Oh, and the nap thing…perhaps a teething phase? Just a phase? Remember our kiddos always change. It can't last forever! Oh and seriously, another time when I wish we lived in the same town. I'd take Bella and her have a play date with Abigail. We can always dream…right?

    HUGS!

  • MamaBear

    June 28, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    i am the same way. i hate not knowing how everything will work out. or even if it will work out. i hate losing sleep over unimportant things.

    i can't say i've been in the same situation as you but i have been overly stressed many, many times. i know you'll get through it but for now just try to keep your chin up and keep on truckin' along!

  • Justine

    June 28, 2010 at 5:33 pm

    i feel you girl. we bought a condo in hawaii right before the market tanked. then my husband got orders to move and so we are renting (an apartment because we couldn't find a house that would allow dogs) and renting our condo out in hawaii. which…..well. i can't wait until the market recovers and we can sell, that's all i can say.

  • Sarah

    June 28, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    Ugh! I know that feeling! I hate when my solutions bring their own sets of problems..

  • Cindy @ This Adventure, Our Life

    June 28, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    Diane, I am sorry! That is a no fun situation. I hate having that many unknowns…It is hard not having naps…Bailey does not sleep for naps either. That is good she is STTN though. I will be thinking of you. One day at a time if you can 🙂 You can do it.

  • Adriana

    June 28, 2010 at 3:08 pm

    hang in there! it will get better. the hubs and i had to move with a three day notice when H was three months old into a craptastic living situation involving a very tiny house and my in laws. I thought i would never make it thorough it but we did. you will get through this. Ill be thinking about you!

    oh and Hendrix stop taking naps too..whats the deal? then he whines all day cause hes tired.ugh.

  • LA @The Reel Family

    June 28, 2010 at 3:00 pm

    If you lived near me I would come help you pack or at least give you a stiff drink. Take a deep breathe it will be ok, its weird how life works out. Even when it seems there is no way it will get better it generally does. When we found out we were pregnant, I had just lost my job, my bf now hubby had been laid for 6 months and we weren't married which was total horror to my uber conservative fam. My grandmother still tells me I played house which is why I got pregnant, no lie. We were rock bottom for awhile but amazingly enough life turned around and its getting better. Let us know if we can do anything at all and thoughts and prayers for you and your fam!

  • Stephanie @ Confessions of a Trophy Wife

    June 28, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    I'm sorry you're in such a crappy situation right now 🙁

    Is there no way you can find affordable housing in your new area so that you're still able to stay home with Bella? I'm sure the worry about finding a job and daycare is just the icing on the poop cake right now.

  • Devan @ Accustomed Chaos

    June 28, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    Sending you a million HUGS!!! I hope things work out – i am sure they will – my fingers are crossed for you ♥

  • Erika@NaMammaSte

    June 28, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    I'm having mini panic attacks over moving too!

    I think I may have to find something part time too if our house doesn't sell soon, so I definitely feel your pain! Part time work really isn't so bad either, especially if you can find something that lets you work 5 half days… that was great, I actually enjoyed having a half day two feel like an adult every day. Plus, I felt like I wasn't missing that much time with the baby… though I know 5 half days aren't always possible, I'm sure 3 full days wouldn't be too awful either!

    In any case, I'm trying to just have faith that what's meant to be will be… the job fell into place, right? And God has our best interest in mind so we'll be just fine!!

  • @deharza on twitter

    June 28, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Take it one step at a time…I know easier said than done..Everything will come together..I believe it..

  • Bethany @ Organic Enchilada

    June 28, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    That is a very full plate. I don't know if you're the praying/religious type or not, but I will say this – Do the very best you can, and the rest will take care of itself. No matter what, you will still have your family, and that is all that really counts. Hang in there!

  • Jessica Warrick

    June 28, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    breath girl breath you are so having a panic attack over this. just take a hot bath and try to relax. Things will happen in time. You will be ok..

  • ~*Jess*~

    June 28, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    Trust me, we've been there. Almost exact same situation. I won't tell you how long it took to sell our house so as not to scare the crap out of you, but we were in a unique situation that there were tons of new builds around us, so why buy our house?

    Anyway, we came to Austin with his job. I didn't have one. We paid the rent on our house here, the mortgage there and then I found a job. It sucked ass. I will not lie to you. But we got through it. And so will you. Be positive and happy house/job vibes to you guys!

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