When a man…loads a dishwasher

June 12, 2010

The title should be read in the tune of “When a man loves a woman.” Just helping you out here.

I’ve just got this thing for how a dishwasher should be loaded. Really. Call me crazy (and you might by the end of this post) but to me, there is a certain way a dishwasher should look right before you run it.

Full. Full of dishes. All in neat rows.

To me, stacking the dishwasher is like a puzzle of sorts. My goal is to figure out how every.single.dish in my sink can fit into the dishwasher – already partially full or not – without one being left over. It should look very tidy and neat at the end.

And 99.9% of the time I succeed. Because I’m awesome.

What blows my mind is how men load the dishwasher. Maybe not all men, but all the ones I’ve known have serious issues with it.

I used to nanny for a dad and in the morning I would come in, get the kids up, and then head downstairs to make breakfast. Without fail, he would have put the 6-7 dishes from the night before in, along with a solitary bowl and spoon from that morning, and a few cups, all wrong side up and facing different directions (this was almost cause for a panic attack) and run it. ::head explosion::

It made me want to stab someone with a spoon. In the ear.

Why? Why would anyone do that? Once I caught on that this was a morning routine, I would get there a little sooner, and actually stop the dishwasher asap before doing anything else and rearrange the dishes. Then wake the kids, have breakfast, and put the entire morning’s dishes into there. And then run it. With a full load.

It made me happy.

And since I was the one unloading it each day, I didn’t see the problem.

Sam, bless his heart, does the dishes quite often to help me out. Now, we’ve all heard someone say, “If your husband offers to do housework, don’t go behind him and critique or he won’t want to do it anymore.”

I understand the rationale behind this, but what this person didn’t realize is that when 25-30 more dishes can be fit in, something needs to be said. Sam says I overload it and then nothing gets clean. I beg to differ. My dishes sparkle. Really – I’ve never had a dirty dish.

However, when he puts cups and bowls in facing upward, then we get dirty dishes. It’s painful to have to do a whole cycle again because I didn’t know they were put in that way. Of course, when I do the cycle over, I also include another whole load of dishes. No sense in letting it go to waste.

I’m thankful he does it, yes, but I would be more thankful if he did it my way. 🙂

It’s just a matter of knowing how it all should fit. Each cup and plate has it’s certain place. White square bowls on the outer edge, plates in a row, large bowls before them all nested, silverware facing up, cups and small bowls on top, wine glasses without stems under the holder for stems, mugs in the middle…

Ok. After rereading that, even I think I might be crazy.

However, right now I have a fully loaded, neatly stacked dishwasher running behind me. Just the thought of it makes me a little more content, the world is a tiny bit brighter.

If only unloading it were so much fun.


  • Sarah

    June 17, 2010 at 9:19 am

    I think our husbands were separated at birth! Seriously, mine does that all the time and it kills me.

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