Priorities

September 6, 2010

I’m all about giving Bella the best we can afford in life. From organic food, homemade meals, natural toys, and safe lotions. Cloth diapering, Maclaren strollers and HABA toys.

So imagine my surprise when the other night it hit me – so what?

Because in worrying about all of the “right” things, Sam and I have forgotten the most important. The thing we should be spending more money on than anything else.

Us. Our family.

We have neglected our marriage. The one thing that every child wants growing up is a stable, loving family with parents who are happy and love each other. Right? I mean, how many of you growing up thought, “It sucks my parents fight all the time but at least I know tomorrow I get to wear organic clothes to school.” :/

So while those things are still important to me, and always will be, my priorities are all wrong. My focus needs to be on my marriage and our parenting. Yes, being healthy is wonderful, caring about the environment is great, but that comes after a stable marriage for us. It’s been easier to work on being more eco-friendly since everything around us was falling apart.

I’m still going to do all those things, but I’m taking the focus off them in my life a little more, and start spending the money on us as a family and a couple. My daily and long term goals are to provide Bella with parents who love each other and give her a safe, happy place to grow up. That is what I should be working on, stressing over, fighting for.

Good memories of your childhood and becoming a self confident adult, because you were secure in your parents love for you, are more important than BPA free bath toys any day.

8 Comments

  • Janelle

    September 8, 2010 at 12:04 pm

    So, so true. This struck a chord, but then I got to thinking…for me at least, it isn’t that we need to SPEND MONEY on our relationship, but spend time and effort on each other. Homemade food and folded clothes aren’t as important as time together, investing in our relationship. So perhaps compromising my ideals (where we eat a healthy, organic, home-cooked meal every night, for example) on the occasional frozen pizza is a better investment in our marriage than the time and effort it takes to stick to my iron-clad “health” routine for the kiddos?

  • mama23bears

    September 8, 2010 at 8:46 am

    you are so right about that! i am trying to focus more on my marriage now more than ever. my family means more to me than any one thing and i try to remind myself of that everyday!

  • Angie

    September 6, 2010 at 10:34 pm

    Hooray for you for keeping perspective of the true priorities in life. It’s important to be healthy, and taking care of the Earth, and teaching your child about environmental responsibility. But it’s also to model for her a healthy working marriage, filled with laughter and respect and commitment.
    I love my Maclaren, and I love dressing my kids in cute little outfits. But I must confess that almost every single thing they have (strollers, clothes, toys, furniture) is used – from swap meets or Craigslist. It’s better for the environment AND substantially easier on the budget! And in terms of toys, some of the best things seem to be stuff around the house – a metal pot and a wooden spoon! Measuring spoons on a ring. Free licence to play with a pool of water in the sink.

  • Nikki

    September 6, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    I think it’s wonderful that you want to provide Bella with all those great things…but at the end of the day…those things are just…things. And you are 100% correct when you say that what matters most to Bella right now is having a loving enviroment. Many hugs and prayers being sent your way!

  • Anne @ A JD + Three

    September 6, 2010 at 10:48 am

    So, so true. It is easy to focus on the things that are easy to accomplish to avoid focusing on the things that are troublesome or difficult. I think we are all guilty of this at some given point in our lives. This re-newed focus will help you, I am sure.

    Good luck lady!

  • Cindy @ This Adventure, Our Life

    September 6, 2010 at 10:34 am

    Diana, I love love this post!! I care about those things also, but in the long run those are just tools, not the big picture… Family, our marriages, our children, those are the things that matter in life. Good for you to figure this out and to write about it :)!!

  • Blair@HeirtoBlair

    September 6, 2010 at 10:33 am

    Amen.

    My therapy is out-of-this-world expensive & we’ve had to sacrifice some things for it. But I figure a healthy, present momma is FAR better than an expensive daycare, private nanny, or anything else.

  • Jess@StraightTalk

    September 6, 2010 at 9:56 am

    Amen sista. At the end of the day, all that fancy stuff isn’t really that important. Of course you want them to be healthy. I want mine to be too. But there are some things ($$) that are just not worth it. Save that money and go on a date. Do something fun as a family. But don’t forget that Bella has a mom & dad that need to be happy too!

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