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Not an easy child

December 14, 2010

Bella isn’t a calm, docile, mellow child. Really. I mean, she isn’t a basket case or out of control. But she is very emotional. Her sensitivity to things is high, she doesn’t enjoy a lot of change, and she thrives on a schedule and routine. Which is wonderful. Until we have an out of the ordinary day.

The thing with a high strung child is that all is fine and dandy until life comes along. Take today. I wanted to go get her some wool diapers because she’s leaking through her night time ones. So I plan to leave in between her two naps (9-11 and 1-3 ON THE DOT) after lunch with about 45 minutes at the store.

Until after driving 20 minutes, we get there and they are closed. At 12pm. Not for lunch, not for anything. Their sign says “Holiday Hours 10-2 M-F.” Well, by golly, it’s Monday at 12. SO…

Irate, I call them. It goes to a cell. I am livid. Apparently no one understands when I arrive somewhere, I expect you to be open.

::deep breath::

Realizing it isn’t always about me, (stop laughing) and that I still need diapers, we head back to the car. Where Bella throws an epic tantrum about having to be in the car seat again. Because?

It’s 12:15. And apparently, even being thisclose to nap means we need to be at home.

I look up the other cloth diaper store to find it’s another 20 minutes away. Fine. We’ll be quick in there.

Until I walked in and saw all the choices. Bella was ok playing with their toy set up, but I couldn’t just walk off and leave her. So finally I picked her up and browsed through the tightly jammed store with 20 other moms and babies.

Note to self: It’s 65* out. Do not wear a down coat. Do not put your child in a coat. Do not wear coats that are slippery together when holding a very unhappy child.

As I try to get what I need, Bella struggles to get down. I let her and she takes off. So once again, I pick her up. And more fussing. I’m trying to pay as the owner chats on the phone and I’m searching for my wallet one handed in my purse that Bella is sitting on against my hip.

I’m hot and cranky. She’s hot and tired. We are both done.

I felt frustrated. What had I done? Does she need to get out more? Less? More sporadic activities? Or do I just need to keep my day structured for a while till she outgrows this?

Because 3 months ago, she wasn’t like this. It has to be a phase.

Then my mom told me it was natural. Most toddlers go through a whiny, clingy phase around this age, and her naps are right on schedule. And she would be fine. I was not raising a hermit or a future old lady that lives just with her cats. Children are different than each other, and each one reacts differently to life situations.

She reminded me to appreciate this time, because two 2 hour naps weren’t going to last forever.

I adore Bella. I love how passionate she is about things, her highs and lows, the excitement she has for the world. She’s a very special little girl.

And yet. I was still happy for bedtime today. All 13 hours of it. πŸ™‚

p.s. I’m on FB now. Come chat.


  • Jacki

    December 15, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    Hey Girl! Somehow July 1st was the last post that showed up in my reader for you. I assumed u changed ur site address? Anyhow I finally got it fixed. (was unable on the mobile site and just getting time to sit at a pc again!) I am so excited to catch up!

  • Cindy @ This Adventure, Our Life

    December 15, 2010 at 11:44 am

    Bailey is like this as it approaches bedtime… so like 6 pm and on…So I totally know this! In the day she rarely naps and it is like one hour from 12-1 pm, no more, sometimes less. During the day she is happy, but for us, we do not have a schedule (I know bad Mom I am)… every day is different… Generally Tue/ Thur I work and she is with Grandma…the other days we do parks, museums, have fun… If Bella needs her sleep, she needs her sleep! You can not really change that. I would just go with the flow and try to throw in some extra fun here and there and see how she is. It may just be a phase!! Teething, walking all those things mess with the poor little ones!! Oh yeah, I am so JEALOUS that you can go to a store and buy a CD… I have to order everything! And on the nighttime front- have you tried LolliDoos? They saved us, literally!!! ( http://www.lolliplace.com/catalog/ ) their overnight pockets are AMAZING and we had tried most everything for my heavy wetter!!!!!

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    December 15, 2010 at 6:25 am

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  • Mandy

    December 14, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    Your blog always makes me smile and they are always so so true. I love you

  • Desi

    December 14, 2010 at 9:43 am

    I have been caught in places without a stroller and without a looney because apparently some stores make you have one to use a cart! Either way, every time I did that it has turned into a nightmare. Liv used to be like that about her naptimes. I can tell you that she isn’t anymore, so hopefully it is just a phase! The two 2 hour naps a day is nice though :).

  • Rebecca M.

    December 14, 2010 at 9:01 am

    My son went through a phase about a year ago (10 months) when he took 2 solid, 2-hour naps every day. It kept me confined to the house a lot, but I told myself to enjoy the phase, because I knew it would pass. And it did, around the first of the year, when he started dropping the morning nap. Of course we were able to get out more, but it was a rough transition! Thankfully it also meant that he started sleeping longer stretches at night, eventually dropping night-nursing entirely. After almost a year of sleep deprivation, I really needed those long, uninterrupted nights of sleep!

    Your mom is a wise lady — kids go through LOTS of phases and this too, shall pass. Hang in there and know that one day this will be barely a memory. You’re doing great!

  • Sarah

    December 14, 2010 at 8:48 am

    Oh, the epic car seat tantrums! I hate those. Once mine is home for the day, do not for any reason, be it life or death, expect to leave the house again. She will not get into the car seat and despite having a good 100 plus pounds on her, I can’t even get her in the damn thing. Ugh!

  • kim

    December 14, 2010 at 8:46 am

    I’m having flashbacks to John. He was, and in some very strong, strong ways, still is, this way. It’s such a hard transition from baby to toddlerhood b/c you’re so used to just carrying them in their car seat or wrap/sling so they do what YOU want. And now they want to do what THEY want?? Ugh. Bella’s nap will begin to stretch and she will adapt. I used to carry books with me –honest — for me to read. Violet napped in her carseat, so sometimes I’d read while she caught a cat nap as her naps phased out. I also bribed ALL of them with food. It sounds like you are doing a FINE job. Be kind to yourself!

  • melissa

    December 14, 2010 at 8:42 am

    Parker is the SAME way, minus the naps. I’m lucky if he will nap a total of an hour all day long most days, even though he NEEDS to and is therefore even more cranky. Then he goes to bed at 6:30 pm and sleeps until 6:30 am. These children are crazy, surely we were angel babies, right? πŸ˜‰ I keep reminding myself one day he will be gone at school all day and come home long enough to eat and disappear again. So for now I will bury my nose in the back of his head and breathe in his baby smell mid- tantrum and enjoy this. πŸ™‚

  • TheNextMartha

    December 14, 2010 at 8:34 am

    Both my kids were high strung in some way. The 2nd more than the first and that is saying a lot. I can’t speak for you but I hate that I’m supposed to deal with high strung when I’M high strung. If I can’t manage it the best in me how am I supposed to do it with a child with little comprehension? Grr.

  • Jackie

    December 14, 2010 at 8:27 am

    Wow, she sleeps a lot, you’re very lucky! My daughter has never been a good napper….sometimes she’ll take one, most times she won’t. And yes, totally normally to act like that! My kiddo is usually a holy terror in stores and throws a ton of tantrums. It comes with the age, unfortunately. She has a pretty set bedtime of 7pm….if we are out somewhere at that time, it’s not pretty. I think change can be hard on so many toddlers when they have a pretty set routine (and set routines can save your sanity, I know).

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