This is a hot button issue – and one we are discussing in our household. Please know that as I write this, I have no one in mind. If you did or did not circumcise your child, that was your choice – and has nothing to do with me or anyone else.
I am against circumcision for our child. 100%. I don’t understand the reason for it, I see no need, and I’m unsure why we continue to do it. I keep reading and researching it to see why it’s such a standard practice, but I don’t see any compelling reason. I feel that, if we have a son, it is not our choice to make for him.
Sam wavers on it. He feels that it is a right of passage in a boy’s life. The first real pain he will feel. He also thinks that it’s something we should do so our son doesn’t differ from him physically. I mentioned this on Twitter and had @clairelouise2 say, “so he thinks looking like Dad is important? If so, ask him when he last saw his dad’s penis. That usually gets them.” Which got me to thinking…
We have talked on this issue many times. Last time I asked Sam, “So if you hadn’t been circumcised as an infant, and felt left out or different, would you get it done now? Or maybe 10 years ago?”
His response? “HELL no!”
In which I looked at him very pointedly and said, “So why do you feel so strongly about it now? What’s the difference in you inflicting that pain on yourself now and doing it to a newborn?” I wasn’t trying to be mean, but let’s be honest – it’s bound to be painful to have that happen at 2 days or 28 years old.
Many of my RL and online friends have said, “I left the decision up to my husband because he has a penis and I don’t.”
A. I’m very glad that you don’t. 🙂
B. It’s great if your husband was actively involved in a knowledgeable decision process by reading and being medically informed, and you were comfortable with letting him make the decision.
If I had wanted to pierce Bella’s ears when she was born (which I didn’t), I know Sam would have talked to me about making a decision based on fact and practicality – not emotion. He was against having that done to Bella simply to have her look cute.
I feel the same way about circumcision. Why should we put our son through that just to look the same as some of his peers? Or his father?
But if when he was older, our son wanted it done – then it’s their choice and their body. I don’t believe I have a right to make a decision like that for him. Unless it was medically necessary when he was born, but I don’t see that in anything I’ve read.
I want to respect Sam’s feelings on this, while having him understand that for me, this isn’t something I want to do – and to know why. I often wonder how couples end up making a decision like this where there is no middle ground. Except to agree to have it done later in life if the boy chooses.
I’d like to leave the decision up to our son – it’s his body. His choice.