Pondering

April 21, 2011

It’s been almost a week since I’ve blogged. Part of this is because we have been so busy in Georgia. Sam and I have taken Bella to see just about everything here.

But part of the break has to do with me pondering, yet again, if I want to continue blogging publicly. I’ve had quite a bit of lash back over random posts lately that people seem to take the wrong way. While my policy on here is to delete and then block comments that just seem to want a rude or angry response back, it doesn’t mean I don’t read them and they don’t sting. Especially irritating is when a fake email is used and I can’t respond to correct their misunderstanding.

Like the fact that I do not have a full time nanny, and hiring someone 3 hours a week so I can grocery shop because my husband is gone for 4 1/2 months does not make me a lazy baby.

I don’t like to deal with nastiness and confrontation on here. I don’t blog to piss people off. Many times what I put on here is over dramatic because it’s more entertaining. No one cares about a blog that posts how lovely and perfect everything is all the time. And my life is rarely boring anyway. I’m too much of a spaz, klutz, and high strung to have that ever happen.

There is a part of me that wants to start over. I don’t know if I want to start over here or with a whole new, anonymous blog. I don’t want to care about ads, comments, stats, or wondering if what I say is going to offend someone.

I want to get on here and write like no one knows who I am. I’m finding that harder and harder to do. I have no interest in turning blogging into a job. This is something I do because I love it, it connects me to other people around the world, and it fulfills my need to write and to create. It’s not somewhere I want to dread getting comments from or wonder if what I posted was boring or too personal or irritating to someone. This blog is me, but it’s starting to feel like a very censored me again.

And since it’s not a job or a need to stir the pot with what i write, but simply my thoughts, it should be easy to keep it just the way I want it.

Right?

39 Comments

  • Kelly

    May 2, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    I’m going through the whole is blogging for me thing too. I have a personal blog and then my public one that I started so I could be a giveaway blogger. I’ve been burned out with giveaway blogging but have had to honor my obligations to sponsors which is slowly winding down. Even now as I know I don’t want to be a giveaway blogger (at least not entirely giveaways), I’m still finding it hard to break away from worrying about the stats and making an effort to better them.

    Don’t let the negativity get to you too much. I think there’s always going to be people that want to give their two cents no matter how nasty and unhelpful they’re being.

  • D

    April 25, 2011 at 8:34 am

    I’ve read through all of the comments and there is nothing more I can add – just wanted you to know that you do have many more fans than foes. I follow way too many blogs, but yours is one of the ones I actually look forward to reading. You are real and honest and genuinely care about others.

    That said, I can appreciate just wanting to get back to the basics and starting fresh. Just let me know when/where you decide to do that!

  • Jen

    April 24, 2011 at 11:50 am

    I love coming here to read your blog because you are REAL. The haters can suck it!

    But if you don’t really love blogging anymore then think about what you want to do. We all come here because it is obvious that you love sharing your life with us. If you don’t anymore (or if you don’t love it as much) then do what you need to do to get back to that place.

    But if you do stop blogging I am just going to have to stalk you in other ways and really that will just be more work for me.

  • Kristin

    April 24, 2011 at 11:18 am

    I’m another who would hate to see your blog go away! Even though I don’t blog yet myself, I love to read them and am always SO excited when I see a new post by you. I also don’t comment often, but just want you to know how much I enjoy your openness and honesty about yourself and parenting 🙂

  • Stephanie Appel

    April 22, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    No no, please don’t stop blogging!!!!

    I’m a frequent lurker (like, daily) and a really big fan, but I almost never comment. I would guess there are a ton of people like me, who love what you write and really value your experiences and opinions. (I don’t have kids yet but am TTC next month!) Sadly, we don’t comment enough and apparently a bunch of jerk-offs do. Please ignore them!!!

    Easier said than done,I know, but if you do go private, may I please be invited?

    Put all the worry and crummy comments behind you now though, and enjoy your time with Sam!

    Happy Easter to your adorable family.

    -Stephanie

    1. Diana

      April 23, 2011 at 8:35 pm

      Your comment made me squeeee! I love lurkers. 🙂 I’m so glad you enjoy reading, it was one of my biggest thrills to have lurkers one day that would come back to read because they truly liked it. Thanks for posting today, even if you don’t again. It made my week.

  • amy

    April 22, 2011 at 2:29 pm

    i love your blog, i would wanna follow you still as well

    1. Diana

      April 23, 2011 at 8:34 pm

      Thanks Amy. 🙂

  • Katrina

    April 22, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    If you create an anonymous blog can you let me know what it is so I can follow you??? I love your writing style and the openness of your blog.
    It’s so easy to say “ignore the haters” and much harder to do. I hope you can though because I love following your blog 🙂

    1. Diana

      April 23, 2011 at 8:34 pm

      This was so sweet. <3 I don't think I will, at least for now. I'm going to change some things up on here instead, get back to blogging basics.

  • Krysta

    April 22, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    I agree with all of the above comments! You write about controversial topics, sometimes, but that is the reason why so many enjoy your blog, because of your honestly about topics that so many of us are afraid to approach! I hope I am able to find you again if you do have to go anonymous and start a new blog!

    1. Diana

      April 23, 2011 at 8:33 pm

      Thanks Krysta. It helps to know that’s a reason you read this.

  • Lizz

    April 22, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    Please don’t stop blogging! Your blog quickly became one of my top five! I’d miss reading it, especially because I just found it. But of course, do what you have to do and I hope it’s not creating a new anonymous blog 🙂

    1. Diana

      April 23, 2011 at 8:32 pm

      Thanks Lizz! That was really sweet of you to say. I’m making some changes on here, hopefully to make it better and more me. Less things I got caught up in.

  • Miranda

    April 22, 2011 at 10:57 am

    I’ve said this to Blair before, so I’ll say it to you now, roomie.

    EFF THE HATERS.

    Seriously.

    This is your space. People are going to judge and be crankypantses and say mean things because there’s something about themselves they don’t like. Meanness is born in insecurity.

    Eff the haters, friend.

    1. Diana

      April 23, 2011 at 8:31 pm

      I just want to give you a hug right now. I heart this comment. It’s SO hard to get past the mean things people say. Especially when you think you know them and then they freak out. But you’re right. The times I get nasty and jealous inside are the times I am the most insecure about something.

      Although I’ve never left a hater comment. 🙂

  • Dana K

    April 22, 2011 at 9:28 am

    I really enjoy your blog and I hope you don’t get pushed into going private. You write about difficult issues. Although it brings out the “anonymous” assholes, it also helps a lot of people. Alcoholism, depression – these are issues that bring out the worst in people. Some people are so broken that they need to hurt others to feel better about themselves.

    I’ll be honest, I piss people off all the time (not on my blog…yet) in real life. My real friends, compatriots are not bothered by the things I say & do even if they don’t agree. The people who get their panties in a wad each & every time (it’s a little harder to be anonymous when I see you in person) can suck it. Their hate & insecurity is THEIR problem, not mine.

    You keep being you. You are genuine & authentic in your writing. Make the decision that will help you maintain this aspect of it. Your readers will understand.

    1. Diana

      April 23, 2011 at 8:30 pm

      Thanks Dana. I love this comment, your words are so wise. <3

  • Crystal

    April 22, 2011 at 8:56 am

    Honey…I’m so glad I found you. yes, life is messy and sad sometimes. People can be so crappy. I lost followers when I was voicing my stress with the approaching deployment. Do people truly not understand that not all things are rainbows and gumdrops!!? It actually makes me mad that you got flack for asking for help while hubby is gone. I’m actually pissed! I’m SO glad you are blogging publicly…I want to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly…that’s what life is all about. Love you. I hope you have a great Easter. Hug that family!

    1. Diana

      April 23, 2011 at 8:30 pm

      That is so rough. I’m always sad when someone unfollows, it’s hard to have them do it after you pour your heart out about something.

      And the person that gave me crap? Totally didn’t read any of the post. Or something. It was a really nasty comment that was totally off base.

  • The Mrs

    April 22, 2011 at 8:34 am

    I’d miss you, and I only just found you a month or so ago. But I know that ball of hot rage that starts to gnaw at my stomach when people are ignorant and mean.

    And don’t read your post (obviously) but feel free to give you advice about it, especially about stuff you’ve ALREADY said. Gr.

    Okay, deep breath. Calm down.

    If you go anonymous, we’d all understand. But we’d miss you. And I’d hope to find you again somehow.

    1. Diana

      April 23, 2011 at 8:28 pm

      That’s the worst. The skimmers. They read a post saying, “My grandma turned 91, she’s the best, we had a party for her” and hear “My grandma is 91 so we put her ass in a resthome and partied it up at her house all weekend.”

      :p

  • Ashley

    April 22, 2011 at 12:14 am

    I think it just comes with the territory in a way ya know? It’s sorta like why I hate text messages sometimes. It’s hard to tell the tone and therefore I get pissed for no reason sometimes lol but its hard when you write something and people freak their freak because they can’t read between the lines or figure out the tone. keep on blogging though:]

    1. Diana

      April 23, 2011 at 8:27 pm

      I agree – which is why I tend to overuse the smiley and lol in all my texts and posts. I almost just put on at the end of that sentence. And this one.

      See? I can’t help it, I want people to understand what I mean so much, and it doesn’t come across that way sometimes.

  • melissa

    April 21, 2011 at 10:46 pm

    “The American Dream. You find something you love,
    then you twist and torture it…Trying to find a way
    to make money at it. Spend a lifetime doing that.At the end, there’s not a trace of what you started out lovin’.”

    -Justin Matice from Hope Floats 😛

    If you don’t love blogging anymore then stop before you hate it. Life is too short to let strangers upset you over words on the internet. But, you are wonderful at writing and relating to people. Don’t stop doing that just change the mode and lighten yourself. You have enough stream in your life to add a love turned chore to the list! Good luck in your decision lady!

    1. melissa

      April 21, 2011 at 10:47 pm

      Um, yeah. *stress, not stream.

    2. Diana

      April 23, 2011 at 8:25 pm

      I really do love it, I’m just beginning to not like what happens because of it. I don’t know. Maybe that’s all the same. 🙂

  • Alexia

    April 21, 2011 at 9:24 pm

    What sucks is that a few bad apples ruin a perfectly good bunch. It boggles my mind why someone would take the time to read a blog that they don’t agree with or WORSE take the time to write something nasty to someone they don’t know. I didn’t understand why so many bloggers write anonymously until my MIL flipped out over a post I wrote (and drastically changed our entire relationship because of it). You do what you have to do, and I hope that you include those of us that absolutely love what you have to say, and the way you say it, in your journey! Seriously…you’re one of the most honest and engaging Mama bloggers out there! Don’t quit!!!

    1. Diana

      April 23, 2011 at 8:24 pm

      Ah the power of the MIL. 🙂

  • IncidentalDomestic

    April 21, 2011 at 9:24 pm

    Man, I know what you mean. And I know you don’t know me, but I think this is good advice (see? we bloggers HAVE to write, we can’t help it! :D):

    You can’t let those kinds of comments get you down. Really, you know, it goes back to what my mother used to tell me when I was younger. THOSE people. The people who really don’t know you — they really don’t matter. What matters is how you feel, how the people who care about you feel and that’s it. You simply cannot internalize anything those people are saying.

    I think the internet is such a wonderful opportunity to get loads of ideas and stories out and if even one of your blog posts helped one other mother get through a rough spot it’s really worth it. What seems droll to one might be life changing for another.

    Writing is so therapeutic, and people aren’t going to agree all the time, but THOSE people don’t have anything to do with the reason you blog. Don’t give up your “therapy” because some people have trouble expressing their disagreement in a non-confrontational manner.

    Stop pondering, keep writing!! 😀

    -Jennifer

    🙂

    1. Diana

      April 23, 2011 at 8:24 pm

      This was a great comment. It’s so true, and I forget that sometimes what I write does really affect someone. And other times I might not even know it. Thanks so much for sharing your insight with me!

  • Teresa

    April 21, 2011 at 9:22 pm

    I like having my “safe” little family blog, but sometimes I want to delve deep and share things that I don’t want my family to see, so I’ve considered starting an anonymous blog too. It is just too much work right now and with my mommy brain, I know id slip somewhere. Anyway, you should do what’s best for you and your family, and remember that you DO make people smile and even the people with negative and disparaging find you interesting, or they wouldn’t have bothered reading!

    1. Janelle

      April 23, 2011 at 12:09 pm

      Ditto what Teresa says above. I was thinking it would be great to have a collaborative “anonymous” blog…a place where we could post if we wanted to rant or share anonymously, but where the responsibility for generating content wasn’t up to any one person. (?)

      1. Diana

        April 23, 2011 at 8:22 pm

        So now I’m thinking how to do this, you’ve got an idea rolling around in my head…

    2. Diana

      April 23, 2011 at 8:21 pm

      Thanks Teresa. I love that you are always here and so sweet.

  • Stephanie

    April 21, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    I think you are a very funny, intelligent etc, what Kim said kinda women! I enjoy reading your blogs. Its too bad you feel that way. I have come to realize there are a lot of ignorant, stupid and insensitive people in the world….if you start over I hope i find you again. Your blog is refreshing! 🙂

    1. Diana

      April 23, 2011 at 8:20 pm

      Thanks Stephanie. It was nice to read this.

  • Kim

    April 21, 2011 at 9:06 pm

    Right. I think what you have to say and how you say it is great — funny, intelligent and entertaining. If you start over you’ll build a following again, and those who come (if you blog it, they will come), well, some will be jerky. But they won’t be jerks that you know. 🙂 I’ve missed you. But . . can I follow you if you leave?? 🙂

    1. Diana

      April 23, 2011 at 8:20 pm

      Of course you can. 🙂

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