Take hell. Times it by a million. And there you have it.

We made it. To El Paso. I can’t say I love it. Like it. Even can tolerate it. It’s basically a hole. It’s dirty and hot and dusty. I’ve never seen anywhere so dry. Even the cactus are dying right now – no joke.

It’s 108 here today. Right now I’m laying in bed while Bella naps and Sam chooses from the 10 channels on TV.

We have no where to live so we’re stuck in a hotel that is one of the worst I’ve ever been in. Our door sticks, the shower fluctuates from scalding to freezing, they gave us a double bed and it smells. The floor is awful.

Don’t get me started on the comforter. :/

We went to look at houses today and I’m pretty freaked out at what the Army is giving us to what it means for where we can live. We ended up somewhere terrifying on one of the trips.

I’m so afraid we’ll end up in a horrible, dirty house in a bad neighborhood. Because we can’t afford more. And we can’t.

I can’t wrap my head around the fact that this is some kind of nightmare and tomorrow we’ll head back to Colorado. Where there is grass. And rain. And clouds. And I can’t see Juarez from our hotel.

Right now I hate it. Will that change? Maybe. I hope so. I’m praying my attitude changes but it’s so hard with so much up in the air, and all our hopes of finding a little house crumbling as we realize that there’s not much here.

I’m trusting God to find us the perfect place at the perfect time. And to let me see this city with new eyes, instead of the shell shocked ones I’m viewing it with right now.



  1. says

    I’m sorry!!! I felt that way when I moved here. I’ve been here 8 yrs and while it still isn’t “home” I’ve warmed up to it. Hope you can, too!

  2. Cathy says

    Oh no :( I’m sorry, your picture doesn’t look exciting. You will find the perfect place, I know you will. Its def going to test your patience I’m sure, but it will come! You won’t live here for forever and there’s always home to go back to when u need it :)

  3. says

    im sorry :/ this is one of the main reasons i’d be terrified if my bf joined the military..being stationed somewhere awful, not having any control over it. you seem to have a good attitude though, and i think you’ll make the best of it :]

  4. says

    I’m sorry! I’m praying for you. It’s going to work out I just know it. Text me if you need to vent, I’m serious!

  5. Kate says

    Nothing, and I mean nothing, looks good when it’s that hot outside. It looks like it’s supposed to cool down a little later in the week though so maybe that will help.

  6. says

    I’m thinking of you Diana. We just got to Dallas last week and hit the 100 deg heat. We moved back into the condo I lived in by myself in dental school and everything was broken. (Thanks tenant!) I wanted to cry. After a week of sorting out our stuff, the stuff he left/garbage, new toilet seats, and a new dishwasher (praise the lord for Lowe’s 12 mo no interest special,) things are looking better. I’m still not used to everyone here looking like Barbie though. I hope it gets better for you too. Sending you lots of good thoughts.

  7. Susan says

    Look at the good things…at least you are together with your husband. I had to wait for 3 months to be able to join my husband because the military wouldn’t let me come until there was a house available. Things will look up when you start to meet other couples that are stationed with Sam, and you can laugh about the awful things together. Misery loves company.

  8. says

    Summers in Texas are nothing like Colorado. Colorado is dry – El Paso is drier. And it is hotter than it has been but we’re also in an extreme drought so hopefully when the rain returns, it’ll regulate the temps and things will start perking up. I hated the snow so I love the winters in Texas.