We made it. To El Paso. I can’t say I love it. Like it. Even can tolerate it. It’s basically a hole. It’s dirty and hot and dusty. I’ve never seen anywhere so dry. Even the cactus are dying right now – no joke.
It’s 108 here today. Right now I’m laying in bed while Bella naps and Sam chooses from the 10 channels on TV.
We have no where to live so we’re stuck in a hotel that is one of the worst I’ve ever been in. Our door sticks, the shower fluctuates from scalding to freezing, they gave us a double bed and it smells. The floor is awful.
Don’t get me started on the comforter. :/
We went to look at houses today and I’m pretty freaked out at what the Army is giving us to what it means for where we can live. We ended up somewhere terrifying on one of the trips.
I’m so afraid we’ll end up in a horrible, dirty house in a bad neighborhood. Because we can’t afford more. And we can’t.
I can’t wrap my head around the fact that this is some kind of nightmare and tomorrow we’ll head back to Colorado. Where there is grass. And rain. And clouds. And I can’t see Juarez from our hotel.
Right now I hate it. Will that change? Maybe. I hope so. I’m praying my attitude changes but it’s so hard with so much up in the air, and all our hopes of finding a little house crumbling as we realize that there’s not much here.
I’m trusting God to find us the perfect place at the perfect time. And to let me see this city with new eyes, instead of the shell shocked ones I’m viewing it with right now.