Dreaming Big

September 26, 2011

As you are reading this, I am listening to this song. And really, you should be too. (ignore the video though) It seems odd, that this is the song that chokes me up in the car. That makes me want to flip open the computer and pour out my heart to you all. The song that makes me throw my head up in defiance of the odds against me in the writing world and keep going.

I mean, it’s Miley. Miley.

But there it is. My motivational song. Crank it up.

I listen to this to gain perspective after a rough day. To push myself to keep going. To look back over the past 22 months of blogging and see the friendships, the perspective I’ve gained, the opportunities that have come my way just from this. At times I can’t quite believe how much writing here has impacted my life.

I am a small town girl – one stop light, no WalMart, and a graduating class of 96 people. I got married at 19. I struggle to be the best mom and wife I can. I am just one of millions of women who dream big. I get frustrated, jealous, impatient, and feel defeat so often. But here I am. Writing still. Pushing myself to satisfy that little voice in my head that says, “What if you could…?”

And so in 3 weeks, I pack up my bags. I take my daughter with me and we head back East. To see dear friends. An little town in New Jersey I came from that I never saw again. And to head to New York. BlogHer Writers. with a book I’ve been working on, really since I was 8, but this particular one for about a year in my head and 2 months on paper.

I’ll stand in front of publishers and authors with my book, the part of me I’ve been dreaming of writing into life since I can remember. I don’t know what will happen. Maybe nothing. But after BlogHer I realized this is something I have to do – it’s my next step.

So tonight I sit here. In a rented home. Listening to Miley of all people. With frayed jeans and a Target shirt. With a car payment and student loans, with a hard working husband and a darling child. Running to Starbucks every weekend to get on some quiet writing time. Typing on a basic laptop, with just enough money that I’ve earned and we saved to send me out to the city. I didn’t even think I;d get to go but Sam pushed me to make it happen.

I’m nobody special. This isn’t me telling you I’ve hit the big times. Lol. I just have a dream of being a writer and author. It’s amazing to me that a blog I started to vent and talk about my life would have led me down this path. Simply because it gave me a little more courage to take that chance.

I may go there and be inspired. Or come home knowing that path isn’t for me. But I can tell you that the little girl that wrote book after book in her New Jersey bedroom and devoured novels night and day, who read and wrote all her life in order to be fulfilled, who loved to watch the faces of others as they listened to her tell a story – I can tell you that little girl would be mighty proud of me.

And yeah. When I come back, part of me hopes you all are proud too.

Whatever the outcome.

16 Comments

  • Daneilia

    September 27, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    I think you’ll do great with your passion for what you do and who you aspire to be. You are someone who pursues what she wants and is persistent on your life’s goals and not many people can say that. Some people “try” to do things and get no where because there is no passion and they didn’t actually “try” hard enough. You have a vision and I’m sure its a vision that will get you somewhere as long as you stay positive 🙂

  • Tracy @ Liberating Working Moms

    September 26, 2011 at 11:25 pm

    Dude. I’m so freaking happy for you! And you inspire me to keep at my writing dreams too! Can’t wait to hear all about it. Seriously, my words are failing me at the joy for you I have. I heart you momma!

  • Kim

    September 26, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    I’m already proud of you! So can’t wait for you to go to Jersey, to NJ, to DELAWARE and follow those dreams. I had no idea this book had been in the works since 8 years old. I’m proud of you for holding onto it!

  • Blair@HeirtoBlair

    September 26, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    I am so proud of you for going!

    & so, so jealous. Doug told me to go but we’ve got other things up our sleeves that are holding me back. I promised him next year.

  • Adam @ Hanging with Dad

    September 26, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    Other than the fact you’re going to New York that sounds like a great trip.

    Few people actually follow through on their dreams, it’s scary to find out if what you’ve put up on a pedestal actually belongs there. So congratulations for having the stones to take that step. Hopefully the publishers will see the passion and the talent and give you a chance. And a chance is all we can ask for, isn’t it?

  • Jen

    September 26, 2011 at 11:19 am

    You can do it Diana, and not only do it, but rock at it! 🙂

  • Lisa @ Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy

    September 26, 2011 at 10:40 am

    I have loved that song since it came out!!!
    Can’t wait to hear all about Blogher Writers!!!!

  • Susan

    September 26, 2011 at 9:28 am

    Your blog made me cry. You have such a gift for putting down your thoughts on paper that made people who read them feel the emotion. Here is a message that was published in Wall Street Journal (author unknown). Keep this in mind, whatever the outcome. It is called “Don’t be Afraid to Fail”.
    You’ve failed many times, although you may not remember. You fell down the first time you tried to walk. You almost drowned the first time you tried to swim, didn’t you? Did you hit the ball the first time you swung a bat? Heavy hitters, the ones who hit the most home runs, also strike out a lot. R.H. Macy failed seven times before his store in New York caught on. English novelist John Creasey got 753 rejection slips before he pubhished 564 books. Babe Ruth struck out 1,330 times, but he also hit 714 home runs. Don’t worry about failure. Worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.

    So no matter what the outcome of your trip is, don’t give up. You have a gift from God. Give him the glory from it.
    Love you Diana!

  • Stacy

    September 26, 2011 at 9:07 am

    I remember that little girl, and she sure would be proud. I am too! However it turns out is how it’s supposed to turn out. If this door closes, a window will open somewhere. The path that life takes us on is uncertain, and as soon as we think we know how it’s supposed to go, the road takes a sharp turn. What matters is how we deal with it. Through this blog, I’ve learned how resilient you are and what a great perspective you have on all that life has thrown at you. So you’ll do an amazing job just like you always have!

  • Rebecca

    September 26, 2011 at 8:55 am

    I’ve got goosbumps! You’re a wonderful writer and have a true gift of connecting with people (that you’ve never met! through the Internet!) which is not an easy task. I know you can do this and part of me feels like it’s meant to be for you.

    And I’ll get to say, “I knew her when!”

  • Mrs. MidAtlantic

    September 26, 2011 at 8:37 am

    Ah! Good luck and HAVE FUN! Amazing that you’ll be able to visit friends from so long ago. Awesome!

  • Amber

    September 26, 2011 at 8:21 am

    Sending lots of wishes your way!

    Also, I never thought much of The Climb until I heard a guy in a little restaurant sing it. Just him and his guitar. I thought “what a beautiful song” and then realized it was that Miley song. So no shame in that. 🙂

  • Good Girl Gone Green

    September 26, 2011 at 8:18 am

    You are one inspiring lady! Good luck at the conference, and be proud of all you have accomplished in the last 22 months! ! I am proud of you!

    You will move mountains~Dr.Seuss

  • Mae

    September 26, 2011 at 8:16 am

    LOVE that you’re going. LOVE. I want to go someday too.

  • stephanie

    September 26, 2011 at 8:16 am

    You always inspire me! I have to say there are days I feel less than. I feel down and like I’m just not good enough. I come here and you either make me laugh or say ‘I can do this!’.

    I said this on FB too but ‘The Climb’ is my song that brings me to tears. It just slaps me in the face and reminds me what is really important in my life.

  • Shell

    September 26, 2011 at 8:08 am

    I bet you come back inspired!

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