Give Me Spanx or Give Me Death.

October 8, 2011

There are certain clothes I own that look better on me with Spanx. Plain and simple. I know that when I wear my Lee Jeans from BlogHer I need to bust out the flab reducer. (Don’t worry, I’m not being compensated to say this. They’re just the smallest pair I own.)

Let’s face it. Everything looks better with Spanx. Especially after kids.

I didn’t ever completely bounce back after being pregnant. My stomach mainly – which bothers me. I lost weight this summer, but it’s still there.

There is no quarter bouncing off it.So when I found Spanx before going to see Sam while he trained in Georgia this spring, I was shocked at how they neatly tucked everything into wear it used to be – and allowed me to get in pants that fit nicely in the legs but not nicely in the waist.

In other words? Spanx>Muffin top.

For the last 6ish months, I’ve worn them on and off. The odd thing is, as great as I feel wearing them, as much as I like the way I look, I always feel guilty. Like I’m cheating. Because I should be able to slip into my jeans without any aid, right? No bending. No stretching. No spraying down the jeans with the kitchen sink hose and then throwing them into the dryer until they’re slightly damp and then putting them on.

Certainly no Spanx. 

Today I put them on and slid into my jeans, looking in the mirror. Frustrated. A tad embarrassed. I was still using them – 2 years after giving birth. Would I ever not need them? I asked myself this, again. Why was I still wearing them?

But then a thought popped in my head. “Why not?”

“Because,” I argued, “I shouldn’t be. Lots of women give birth and never need to use Spanx. I should be one of them.”

“You’re not them.”

“Then I should be ok with the flabby me.”

But I’m not.

This stayed with me today as I thought about how much I have struggled with my weight over the years. How I’ve never been thin enough. Even thin. How right now, at a size 6 that I would have killed to be a year ago, I feel like I don’t deserve it or it’s not “really” how I look so I tell myself it’s an illusion. Created by Spanx.

But what if it is? What if I wear Spanx every day for the rest of my life? What if I wear them at my funeral and people say, “Good grief, she’s 97 and you could bounce a quarter off that thing.” Would that be terrible to trick them?

Is that the end of the world? I wear makeup. I use product in my hair. I know tips to make things look bigger and smaller – how is wearing Spanx some kind of a sin? Why do I feel guilty when I pull them on?

I don’t know. But what I do know is this – I like them. I don’t care who knows I wear them. I look and feel better when they’re on. And this weekend? I’m treating myself to a new pair. I’d rather fake a flat stomach than walk around feeling like crap about a muffin top.

If that’s what it takes to make me feel a little better and look better in my clothes – then people? I’ll be gettin’ my Spanx on till the day I die.

And probably after that as well. Might as well look good in the box.


  • JM

    October 11, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    So here’s my problem: I have this INSANE desire to wear spanx, but really, the only people that EVER talk about wearing them are post partum.

    And I’m dealing with infertility and post partum is a problem I’m DYING to have to deal with. But instead, I just have all this flab I’ve put on while I eat my way through the fact that I don’t have a kid.

    How can I reconcile the fact that it’s not just post-baby that wearing spanx is ok? Probably when someone that’s NOT post-baby that admits to wearing them just the same.

    (end rant. bad day. not mad at you i swearsies.)

  • NikkiG

    October 9, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    We are only the second generation not to wear girdles, or a type of girdle. I only caught one episode, because it sucked, but the show Pan Am had it clear – to be hot, you wore a girdle. Size did not matter. the only thing to match what a girdle does to your body is a lot of consistent exercise. Probably more than the 30 minutes a day that we are designated to do. Being underneath clothing, you don’t know if every person you pass on the street is rocking Spanx.

    It’s just your business! Wear them and be proud!

  • Lindsey

    October 9, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    “I’d rather fake a flat stomach than walk around feeling like crap about a muffin top.” <——- THAT.

    I'm not a Spanx user. Only once for a wedding did I invest in some other brand of arse-sucker-inners, for a wedding we were going to. I don't regret it or feel like I should've spent that money on a gym class instead.
    Whatever I can do to look awesome, I will. Or you could let the muffin tops hang free…

  • Amber

    October 9, 2011 at 8:29 am

    I weigh less now (2 yrs later) than I did before I got prego. But the wrong pair of pants or fitted shirt will most definitely result in muffin top, so I have no problem slapping on some shapewear. It’s not changing the way I look – just smoothing me a bit, right? Like a little foundation on the face.

    So, I would love to know what the off-brand one’s are that you wear – I’ve yet to find anything that works like the real Spanx, but I HATE dropping the money on them. (PS – to anyone currently pregnant, the maternity Spanx work well 🙂 )

    By the way, bravo on the size 6. 🙂

  • shell

    October 9, 2011 at 7:52 am

    Shapewear is awesome. 🙂

    Though, I too want to know the brand you use! Always looking for different ways to suck it in.

  • A’Driane

    October 8, 2011 at 3:04 pm

    BRAVO! Love this post and your acceptance 🙂 I’m a huge fan of doing whatever makes you feel awesome about yourself, so I lift my glass of moscato to you and your Spanx-“TO SPANX! TO ACCEPTANCE!” Rock ’em…shoot you just inspired me to go get a pair!

  • Erika @NAMAmmaSTE

    October 8, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    I had the same guilt a few months ago. That and, like Rebecca said, I never found mine that comfortable. Now I’m wearing the Bella Band all the time and I feel funny about that too for some reason. Like I have no business wearing my pants if I can’t button them. I didn’t feel funny last pregnancy really, so maybe it has more to do with knowing I was using them when I wasn’t pregnant and I’m afraid people will think my preggo belly is postpartum belly. I really need to stop worrying about what other people are thinking I guess.

    Anyway, go spanx! They rock and there’s nothing to feel guilty about! I don’t know many mothers who bounce right back to their former glory after having a baby, no matter how good of shape they’re in.

    1. Diana

      October 8, 2011 at 2:25 pm

      I wore my Bella Band more after birth than before. Isn’t that sad? It was like my ass got so big the regular jeans wouldn’t have fit anyway lol.

      You do look all cute and pregnant – not postpartum at all!

  • Jenny

    October 8, 2011 at 11:47 am

    Ok…. so where do you get one of these miraculous muffin-top vanishers? Almost 10 months later, and yes I still have a muffin top and I hate how most of my pants and shirts look, even though I’m back in the same pre-pregnancy size. I’m gonna swallow my pride and get me some Spanx! Especially after somebody just asked me the other day if I was expecting again already….. ;(

    1. Diana

      October 8, 2011 at 2:24 pm

      I get mine at Kohl’s. I love them – I have the top one that is like a tank top, and I pull up jeans over them so they stay in place.

  • Beth Anne

    October 8, 2011 at 10:49 am

    I have ZERO shame in using shapewear.

    ahem, of course, I use the amazing Jockey shapewear line that is comfy enough to wear all day & hugs me in tight.

    My stomach & hips have this mush of padding around them now that simply wasn’t there before. I can’t fight it, so I might as well learn to contain it.

    1. Diana

      October 8, 2011 at 2:23 pm

      Now I have to go look at Jockey – I knew they had cute underwear/tops/nightclothes but I must have missed the shapewear part.

  • Ashley

    October 8, 2011 at 9:13 am

    I’m almost 21, no kids and I wear an off brand of spanx tank top. I feel sorta embarrassed when I bought them but they make me feel so much better about myself so I just think whatever. I don’t care what people think plus my husband knows what I look like naked so it’s not like I’m tricking him ya know.

    1. Diana

      October 8, 2011 at 2:22 pm

      True – and that’s the main person that I care about. Anyone else? Meh.

  • Elizabeth

    October 8, 2011 at 8:56 am

    girlfriend, I read that Nicole Richie wears spanx, and wore two pairs together after having her second baby. NICOLE RICHIE! Who is smaller than my right thigh. Anyway, I think no matter what, its nice to look smoothed out. Thusly I got some spanx. And I felt the same way you did. Part of it is that they aren’t cute. Like – they’re nude colored. Sigh. But I freaking love not having a muffin top. And I’ve never had children. I’ve just always had a chubby tummy, even though I’m overall on the smallish side. Spanx solidarity sister.

    1. Diana

      October 8, 2011 at 2:22 pm

      Nicole is the size of my wrist. I can’t believe she wears them like that – what’s she tucking in? Her ribs?

      They aren’t cute, huh? They really aren’t at all. I put them on and instantly feel stupid in them. But they do make my clothes look a lot better.

      It’s a win/lose.

  • Mrs. MidAtlantic

    October 8, 2011 at 8:30 am

    I was lamenting the fact that women in the Fifties always looked great in their poofy dresses, and they didn’t have Spanx, so why do I look so terrible?! And then I remembered girdles. Those women had whole architectural structures holding their tummies in place!

    1. Diana

      October 8, 2011 at 2:20 pm

      I totally forgot to put in my post that after watching Mad Men I realized how many women used to wear all kind of things to keep themselves slim and smooth. Then I didn’t feel so bad.

  • Good Girl Gone Green

    October 8, 2011 at 8:17 am

    Lol!!! I tried spanx once maybe 4 years ago and didn’t like the way they fit on my legs, I have lost a large amount of weight since giving birth a years ago; I am the smallest i have ever been and in the best shape. At a size 4 and I still feel chubby and yucky. Maybe one of these days I need to get my spanx on too. You are awesome, D. You always put a s,lie on my face!! Thanks for that!

    1. Diana

      October 8, 2011 at 2:19 pm

      Welcome! That made me smile! Good for you for getting back into shape <3

  • Rebecca

    October 8, 2011 at 8:09 am

    I love this post! I wish I loved my spanx as much but the pair I have isn’t comfy 🙁 I’m always pulling them up or down. What is the exact style that you wear and love??

    -Mushy in Michigan

    1. Diana

      October 8, 2011 at 2:18 pm

      LOL at the name 🙂 I wear a brand from Kohls – when I go tomorrow I’ll text you the brand because I can’t remember right now. Also I tuck them into my pants – way down – then they tend to stay.

  • Samantha

    October 8, 2011 at 8:09 am

    AMEN! Yes, I wear Spanx. I would wear them in full body format if I could. I just look so very different in them and I love it.

  • Leighann

    October 8, 2011 at 7:30 am

    I love my spanx!
    They make dressing up for a wedding or dinner out possible and bearable.
    My stomach did not go back to normal after my daughter and I have accepted that.
    Spanx is the answer.

    1. Diana

      October 8, 2011 at 8:08 am

      Thank you – yes it is! I am glad I’m not the only one.

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