Barts.

December 29, 2011

Bella sits quietly on the couch and watches me move. I try to focus on my breath, the technique, the proper placement of my body. This is unusual for her, as she normally likes to attempt the yoga moves or run around me.

Almost to the end, Savasana, I lay in peace as the Namaste DVD plays soothing music and encourages me to, “Let all your thoughts go, simply be.” As I relax, I suddenly feel a tiny presence by my head. Cracking open one eye, I see Bella peering at me.

“Ok Mommy?” she asks worried. I nod. “I’m fine honey, I’m almost done.”

Eyes closed. Deep breath. Try to move a little so she doesn’t think I died on the floor.

“Mommy? Mommy? Night night?”

“Bella,” I say without opening my eyes, “one sec. I’m ok.”

Poke. A finger sticks into my ear. “Mommy ear?” She gets super close. “Ear?”

The woman on the DVD whispers to let go. I really try. But that finger is still in my ear. I tilt away from her.

“Mommy nose? Baby nose.” I feel Bella studying my nose intently.

“Let all your worries wash away…”

Figuring this is a time to play, Bella hurls herself across me and squeals. I gently pull her off, saying, “That hurts Mommy.” Toddler translation: “This is a fun game that makes Mommy say ‘ow’ a lot.”

The voice on the DVD tells me to slowly rub my hands together, then pass them across my face. I do so as Bella watches in fascination, rubbing her hands together too.

“Wash hands? Wash? Wash face? Bubbles? Bathie?”

I nod and smile at her, still really trying to relax for just another moment. Maybe she’ll sit there for a second. All is quiet. I hear her squirm around.

Then I hear a noise. All to familiar.

Bella cracks up. “Bart? Bart? Baby bart?”

And thanks to my husband thinking teaching her to say “fart” is the funniest thing on the planet, my yoga session ends right then and there. The graceful women on the DVD with their quarter bouncing stomachs pull their hands to their hearts in a bow, while my child farts next to me and laughs.

But you know what? I wouldn’t trade that time in for the world. Or even a perfectly flat stomach.

I’m thankful she loves being with me.

Even if it’s just to poke and fart on.

7 Comments

  • TheNextMartha

    December 31, 2011 at 9:59 am

    hahaha!

  • story

    December 29, 2011 at 8:04 pm

    OMG, LOVE! Love, love, love. You and your toddler just made my day.

  • Samantha

    December 29, 2011 at 2:52 pm

    ::snort:: Yes, this is very real.

    This happens to me all the time. But I’ve got 2 rowdy boys tackling me and then screaming about whose turn it was to have the toy they drop on my head.

    So fun!

  • Sarah

    December 29, 2011 at 9:45 am

    I love this! You know, if I had read something like this a year ago (before my daughter was born) I would have just laughed my tush off, but today it made me almost cry (while still laughing my tush off)! Motherhood changes you. It makes you better. (Never mind the stretchmarks and yoga time that turns into a “mommy’s belly is a bouncehouse” moment.)

  • melissa

    December 29, 2011 at 7:59 am

    Hahaha! Ahhh yes. Just wait until there’s a newborn making giant dart noises in public and as you’re trying to make comments that let everyone around you know it wasn’t you that made the noise, but the tiny baby OB the baby bjorn, and then your toddler cracks up and tries to make the noise too resulting in a diaper change. :S All the while, everyone else in the store is side eyeing you in disgust like you are just standing there ripping giant farts and stinking everything up and blaming your children. Good times… 😛

    1. Diana

      January 1, 2012 at 6:10 pm

      Oh my goodness. I would have died. One of my biggest fears is having someone thinking I’m farting while my kid is.

      I’d totally blame it on her anyway. #momfail

  • Branson

    December 29, 2011 at 7:48 am

    Loooove this post. This is why I love being a mom, lol. 😉

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