Kicking Depressions Butt. One Badge at a Time.

January 13, 2012

Depression and anxiety are often taboo subjects. Sometimes a person like Katherine Stone from Postpartum Progress comes along and blows the stigma of it away – like she did with PPA/PPD. The effect she’s had on that community is amazing. When I realized I had anxiety, I looked for a community that was that open, that bold about it. And honestly, I didn’t find any. I turned to Kim, who has struggled with depression, and she felt the same. Many of you online told me you wondered about it too. Is there a community we talk openly about for depression and anxiety? This post is for those of us trying to find just that.

So you all know that I love Diana. I mean, who doesn’t? And I’m blessed to have her as a real life friend as well as blogger friend. So when she asked me (get that, she asked me ::headexplosion::) to guest post on this topic I was flattered and a little nervous. I’m here at Hormonal Imbalances. That’s huge to me. So, thanks, Diana, for thinking of me and letting me get a little taste of the big time over here at your place today. I puffy heart you.

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“Kicking Depression’s Butt”

That’s what I want on my badge.

All over I see badges saying “I survived PPD”, “I survived antenatal PPD”, or “I’m a miscarriage survivor.” And while I, too, am all of those things, I’m also something else.

I’m surviving with severe clinical depression and anxiety. And there aren’t any badges for that.

I want every single person who hits my blog to know, immediately, that I’m a survivor, a warrior, against this kind of depression. I want them to know I’m fighting it, I’m beating it and I’m kicking it’s butt.

My kind of depression doesn’t get talked about a whole lot. There isn’t a hash tag chat on twitter for it (that I know of. Correct me if I’m wrong.). There’s a community site, Band Back Together, that is amazing, but it’s anonymous and while we do sometimes have to protect ourselves, I’m afraid that this might contribute to the stigma that depression holds.

My kind of depression — the kind that landed me in the hospital twice, the kind that keeps me on daily meds and will for life, the kind that whispers nasty lies in my ear about what a failure I am, the kind that is debilitating in the extreme, the kind that sucked the life out of me for two plus years and I’m fighting every single day. This kind of depression is not talked about a whole lot. And there most certainly is not a badge for it.

But there should be.

When I read stories about struggles with depression I am empowered because I know that I am not alone. I want others to read my story and feel the same. I want them to know that losing is not an option — kicking butt is the only option.

PPD has drawn so much support out here in the blogosphere and on twitter. It’s wonderful and amazing, and makes me jealous. We need the same resource for clinical depression and anxiety. Wouldn’t it be great to have a #dep/anx chat once a week? Wouldn’t it be incredible to have a coming together of support, love and kindness by others going through the same symptoms and emotions as you and me?

9 Comments

  • Chrystal

    March 8, 2012 at 10:42 pm

    Hello there! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and say I truly enjoy reading your blog posts. Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums that deal with the same subjects? Thanks a ton!

  • angela

    January 14, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    I don’t have much to add, but I want to say thank you for sharing your voice here and working to break the silence of this sort of depression.

    1. Kim

      January 14, 2012 at 11:59 pm

      Thanks, Angela. I appreciate the support.

  • Anne-Marie

    January 13, 2012 at 1:18 pm

    I feel exactly the same way! When my husband and I decided we wanted to have a kid, I looked around for some clues as to what I could do since I ALREADY have depression and anxiety. And I was shocked by the silence. Shocked.

    I started my own blog to add my voice. And I do a little happy dance whenever google sends someone my way after she searches for an anti-anxiety medication and pregnancy. But yikes. It’s lonely out here. And a lot of people send me private messages instead of commenting on the blog to tell me that they struggle the same way. Which I love. But I’d really love it if they left a comment that said “ME TOO!”

    The Blogess has been talking about this on twitter using the hashtag #silverribbon. From my interpretation, at least, it means kicking butt like we are!

    Thank you for adding your voice!

    1. Kim

      January 14, 2012 at 11:59 pm

      I”m going to check out that #sliverribbon — thanks so much. And I’m heading over to your blog! ~Kim

  • molly

    January 13, 2012 at 10:39 am

    Yes, I have an antenatal depression button on my blog. But I could basically have badges lined up and down my sidebar and it still probably wouldn’t be enough for all of my diagnoses. Seriously.

    I love PPP and I love Band Back Together. Both websites are doing a wonderful job of educating the public and supporting those who need it.

    There is another website called Daily Strength and you can join a forum based on your diagnosis. When I was first diagnosed with bipolar II disorder it helped me SO MUCH to be around like-minded (crazy) people 🙂

    I think we are getting there. There is so much support on the internet. I still can’t believe how many lovely people read what I write and chime in to say, “hey, thanks for doing what you’re doing.”

    We’re the voices of depression. And yes, we are kicking butt!

    1. Kim

      January 14, 2012 at 11:58 pm

      We ARE kicking butt, Molly. Sometimes I just need a little more validation, in a concrete form, you know? 🙂 ~Kim

  • Lynda

    January 13, 2012 at 10:11 am

    Thanks for your post! I don’t think it could have been said any better. Let me know if you get that #dep/anx chat going.

    1. Kim

      January 14, 2012 at 11:57 pm

      Thanks, Lynda. 🙂 We’ll keep you posted! ~ Kim

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