Caught with my pants, well, off.
In the mornings when we have nowhere to go, I’ll sometimes let myself stay in pajamas till noon. When Bella goes down for a nap. This tends to work out well most days.
My pajamas are not – they’re not usually thick. They consist of yoga pants and a flimsy t shirt. Sometimes no pants.
Hey – I’m alone. There’s underwear and long shirts.
So the other day when the doorbell rang, I glanced down and made a decision. I wasn’t going to answer with my arms folded or smashed behind the door with my face poking out.
‘Cause that’s real subtle.
I figured if it was UPS they’d do a courtesy ring while placing the box down and leaving. That’s what they do. But Bella happened to think it was Daddy on the other end, so she came running from the other room to see who was at the door.
Then the bell rang again.
Not sure what to do (because I do not want to go out to get a package at the UPS store 20 minutes away simply because I’m not wearing pants when they come to my house) I dropped to the floor and started to low crawl to the bedroom under the cabinets and windows to get my pants and a sweater. Not knowing if I’ll have enough time before he leaves.
At this point, Bella fell apart within plain view of the UPS man because, apparently, I am crawling away from Daddy and leaving him on the doorstep while he frantically tries to get in. Screaming, she hurled herself against the door sobbing, “Daddy! Daddy!” and I am stuck.
I can see the UPS man peer in at her, and I know he’s wondering what she’s doing in a house with no one there to answer the door. I have to make a decision:
my child and package or my dignity.
Pausing for a second to pull my shirt down and hunch over, I lifted Bella up as she bawls into my arm and reached for the door handle to assure him that I am, indeed, at home with my toddler and most certainly will accept the delivery. Pants or no pants.
I flung it open to the sound of howls and me standing there, pantless, no makeup, hair a mess, with a crying child – in my FULL GLORY – to dare him to say something – only to realize he’d left the package at the step and is walking away.
But with all the commotion, turns back around to see what’s going on.
So with my head held high I put Bella down, waved at him without lifting my arms, and took the package inside. Without turning around.
And then I reminded myself that as soon as I wake up, pants should be a priority. Forever.