Coming clean. About drains.
I’ve written a few posts on here about one of my worst fears. Paralyzing. Terrifying. Totally crippling.
Also incredibly dumb.
We have this lovely, huge garden tub in the master bath. You’ve seen it in my belly pics on here. It has whirlpool jets and a dispenser for bubble bath – it’s next to an iced window. It’s perfect. I look at it every day.
In total fear.
It has a drain. And I can’t get in it because of that.
Now, the shower has a drain. But I can avoid it (and I do) and it’s not underwater. There is something about drains and being underwater that just, omg, getting chills just writing about it. I have had this fear since I was a little girl. I used to have my mom place cups upside down on the tub drain so I could get in. I can’t go near those flappy drain things on the sides of a pool.
One summer at 18 I got the bright idea of being a lifeguard at the local pool –
::let’s all stop to giggle here::
and practiced in a pool where the drain was far on the other side. I didn’t have to see it or go near it. But the one I was supposed to qualify in? I jumped in, started swimming, glanced down, and saw 3 HUGE GRATE DRAINS ON THE BOTTOM LIKE 15 FEET AWAY.
And I literally screamed and jumped out of the pool.
It makes me sad to have such a horrible fear of something so – inhuman? It’s just there. A piece of metal with holes.
I long for the day I can get in the tub and soak – fear free. Where my toes can brush against the drain without me totally losing it and having to get out. Where I can get in a pool and not have to scout out each drain first and then spend the whole time avoiding them. Where reaching my hand in to the sink to unplug it doesn’t cause me to seize up.
But I have no idea how to do it.
Is anyone else deathly afraid of something like this? Has anyone gotten over it?