May 23, 2012

They’re here with us. Not the way we thought they would be. But they’re home now. We’ll have a memorial service in Colorado in June. A way to remember and honor their short lives and to say thank you to so many of you who reached out to us.

I know they’re with Jesus, so this is just the earthly remains, but it still hurts. They were once in me, and now are here. This was all we were able to do for them and that hurts. We bought an urn. I wanted to give them so much more in their lifetime.

I have pictures of them, tiny handprints and footprints as well, that are still in our closet. I haven’t been able to look at them yet. I feel intensely guilty over this but also know that I have forever to do so. Just right now it’s too overwhelming.

They will never be recorded in history because I gave birth to them 3 days shy of 20 weeks. Which in itself is so painful to think about. How they were almost considered “real” to everyone. 3 days. And they were so very, very real and alive anyway. But in some small way, on here and in our lives, they will be known and remembered forever.

My heart aches so much for all the dashed dreams and plans this little box holds, yet holds on to the hope that their little lives continue to impact our futures in such an amazing way. It doesn’t take away the pain, but the thought comforts me all the time.

They are home, and they are mine again. My little boys.


  • Rene Foust

    June 7, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss! My heart breaks for you. No one should have to feel such pain.

  • Karen

    June 7, 2012 at 8:25 am

    So very sorry for your loss. They are real and will always be real. I recently lost my 6 year old boy in a tragic accident. Today I bring him home. I have been longing for this day but very sad and you are right this is all we get??!! I just wanted to write and let you know you are not alone. This is the hardest thing a mother can live with. Please know I pray every night and they are your guardian angels now sent to watch over you. Never feel alone. For others and they are with you.

  • Genevra

    June 4, 2012 at 10:43 am

    So sad to read this news and know of your loss. I hope with time you are able to find more and more peace and comfort. They were very lucky to have you as a mother, and perhaps there is hope in knowing you will always be connected. Much love to you and your family. (Love Bomb team member)

  • Michele

    May 31, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    Preston and Julian are real to all of us reading this.

    You may not recognize it, but you are SO strong.

  • Sally

    May 30, 2012 at 5:38 am

    I’m sorry for your loss. Let yourself mourn and be sad, then let yourself remember.

  • rosie

    May 29, 2012 at 10:59 am

    all my love, there’s no greater loss than the loss of a child. may your little angels be safe in heaven xx god bless x

  • Angie

    May 29, 2012 at 10:35 am

    I am so very, very sorry for your loss! You will be in my thoughts and prayers, and I’ll ask my big sister Nicky to show your beautiful little ones around heaven.

  • Mariel

    May 29, 2012 at 8:17 am

    I’m very sorry to hear this and I wish you peace of mind during this difficult time. Your strenght amazes me. Please don’t feel guilty as you did the best that you could. Although not what was expected, you gave them your very best during their lives.
    Your babies were a blessing. They came to remind you about love. That love lives on.

  • Petra

    May 29, 2012 at 1:30 am

    So sorry for your loss! Sending you and your family lots of love!

  • Lola

    May 28, 2012 at 8:02 pm

    Keep strong, beautiful woman.

  • Jess

    May 28, 2012 at 6:52 am

    I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the pain you must be going throug. I hope you and your family can find peace and that your boys are smiling down at you from heaven.

    Love and hugs,

  • Alyssa

    May 27, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    I am so sorry for your immense loss. Your beautiful baby boys will be in my thoughts and intentions. I hope for you and your family to be comforted and find peace in this difficult time.
    With love and empathy,

  • Kimberly

    May 27, 2012 at 8:55 am

    Sending you much love from Nevada. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. <3

  • Laura

    May 27, 2012 at 2:25 am

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Your two little boys were real, and you will always remember them. I hope you feel love and strength and peace at this time. Much love.

  • Monique

    May 26, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    Sending much love and many prayers your way. My heart aches for you and your family. You’ve beautifully memorialized Preston and Julian here, and I am certain they will live on always in your hearts.

  • Robin

    May 26, 2012 at 11:05 am

    So sorry. Sending my love and strength.

  • Lon

    May 25, 2012 at 9:56 pm

    Bless you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • Mary

    May 25, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    I can’t express my sorrow at your loss. I can’t imagine the pain you are going through. Although I don’t yet have children of my own, I can only imagine the guilt, pain, sorrow, unexpressable feelings you must be enduring. I pray God gifts you with special grace during this time. Love, prayers, and hope for the future from Green Bay, WI.

  • Stephanie

    May 25, 2012 at 3:44 pm


    I am so sorry for the loss of your two babies. Whether or not they had a birth certificate, they were your sons, and the loss is real. Your pain is real.

    “Blessed are those who mourn; for they will be comforted.” I’m praying that you will find comfort even in the midst of your grief.

  • Sonja

    May 25, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    I am so sorry, and there are no words to make this any better. I hope you can find peace and hope for your future!

  • gen

    May 25, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    Diana, I cannot imagine what you must all be experiencing right now. Sending you all so much love and light and strength! Rest in peace Preston and Julian. Hugs.

  • George

    May 25, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    Dear Sam and Diana —

    So sorry for your loss of Julian and Preston, who of course are real. And yes you did not get to realize all the dreams you had for them. But you should know and believe that Julian and Preston had truly great and loving parents — a mom and dad who love them forever. Despite what they, and you, miss, the four of you share the greatest memory of all. We pray for hidden and revealed blessings in the days to come.

  • Christian JP

    May 25, 2012 at 1:18 pm


  • Gloria

    May 25, 2012 at 11:48 am

    Dear Diana, my thoughts and heart go out to you and your family. This is a tough situation no momma should have to be in.

    The heartache cannot be denied. However, I am sure of this – that Jesus will take care of you and your family in this period, and that you definitely will meet the boys again in heaven.

    It is my prayer and hope that your family will receive peace, love, and a reassurance that the boys are safe with Jesus.

    Please take care of yourself during this period. We at the Love Bomb team love you plenty!

  • Nik

    May 25, 2012 at 11:28 am

    My heart goes out to you. My sister lost her baby after 5 months of gracing our family with her beautiful presence. Though her visit was short, we were touched deeply by her life and will always remember her as a gift from the universe. Things don’t always make sense, but with love in our hearts we can faith in knowing that everything is guided by a higher purpose. Best wishes and much love to you and your family 🙂

  • Julie

    May 25, 2012 at 10:12 am

    Words cannot express the depth of my sorrow for the loss of your sons. I pray for peace of heart and mind for you as you continue to grieve for them.

  • Kylie

    May 25, 2012 at 9:12 am

    I cannot imagine. No one should have to lose their children. Every child is real and precious, not matter how long or tragically short their journey on this Earth. You’re in my prayers!

  • Devinne

    May 25, 2012 at 9:05 am

    I’m so sorry, Diana. I have no idea what this must be like for you and your family, but I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Renee McGrath

    May 25, 2012 at 9:03 am

    Oh Diana, there’s no greater loss. My heart goes out to you during this difficult time. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

  • Katie

    May 25, 2012 at 8:51 am

    Sending you lots of love and lots of light. God bless you and those tiny baby boys. They are so perfect now, and happy and waiting for mama.

  • ky

    May 25, 2012 at 8:40 am

    That is so sad that they weren’t considered “real”….just wow. They were perfect little babies. Eyes, fingers, toes, mouth….BABIES! I wish that was different in this world

    I’m so sorry. I still pray for you daily!

  • silvenwolf

    May 25, 2012 at 8:20 am

    My heart hurts reading this… but know that their spirits and love will always be with you forever. Sending you comforting thoughts and lots of love.

  • Michelle

    May 25, 2012 at 7:50 am

    May you find some comfort and strength knowing that so many are sending love, positive energy and prayers during this difficult time.

  • zinni rathore

    May 25, 2012 at 7:45 am


  • @wewon31

    May 25, 2012 at 7:34 am

    So sorry to hear of your loss. I believe your strong faith will help you cope with this difficult time. My sympathies to you and your family, take care.

  • Carrie De

    May 25, 2012 at 7:11 am

    Sending you and your family love.

  • Lu

    May 25, 2012 at 7:10 am

    I am sorry to hear about the loss of your twin boys. Know that they are being cared for by our Heavenly Father, May you find peace and comfort in that knowledge. My prayers and love to you. With my deepest sympathy,

  • Debby D

    May 25, 2012 at 6:56 am

    Your sweet baby boys are so very real. They have touched my heart as have you and your family. We pray for you often.
    Now they are in heaven being cuddled and loved by the ONLY One who could love them more than their earthly parents, their Heavenly Father. It’s hard to believe that He could love my little guys more than I love them, but He does and the same hands that are holding them, are holding you.

  • Brad Ellison

    May 25, 2012 at 6:29 am

    Praying for you and your family. Through all the struggles that our Heavenly Father allows us to go through, it is so difficult to hold on to the understanding that everything He does is ultimately for good. Stay strong in Christ! Love!

  • Deb Jolliff

    May 25, 2012 at 6:03 am

    I am so very sorry for your loss…. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers~

  • Christy

    May 25, 2012 at 4:22 am

    Praise God that they have gone to be with our father! Shout out hallelujah that they go before you. God has an amazing path laid before you. He is preparing you for gifts you have never even dreamed of. He wants you to know that He has picked you for this special path. That you are strong enough to walk down it with Him beside you. He wants you to know the pain will pass and all you will see is His glory. Praise God! He loves you more than you could ever know! Amen. Hallelujah!

  • Emily

    May 25, 2012 at 3:20 am

    I can’t imagine the constant ache and pain you must feel.I’m so sorry for the loss of your perfect boys.There aren’t enough words.All I can say is cling tightly to God,he’ll hold you through this.I pray you find beauty in this dark season.God is good,and he loves you all so much <3

  • Miranda

    May 25, 2012 at 3:19 am

    I have always believed that things happen for a reason. Often times however that does nothingfor me when things happen against my wishes. I can only imagine how that sentiment stands for you right now. Be strong, have faith, and know that you are not alone. Their tiny little souls recognize the love they had while they had it, in fact that may be all they ever felt. Take comfort in the fact that knowing only love in whatever short life lived is a very spectacular life to have lived. <3

  • Sara

    May 25, 2012 at 2:42 am

    Our hearts are with you during this difficult time and we send to you much love.
    The Schmidts

  • Stephanie

    May 25, 2012 at 12:25 am

    Dear Diana,

    Thinking of you and your family at this very hard time. Wishing you a lot of strength and praying for your beautiful Preston and Julian.

    Lovebomb from London, UK

  • Lloyd d. Reynolds

    May 25, 2012 at 12:09 am

    Dear precious Diana and Sam,
    We know your sons were real persons, You both know it and God knows it. My precious wife, Bonnie, and I have come to see that God is sovereign and His grace is sufficient for all He allows in our lives. We learned this when our oldest son drowned and when my twin brother, Floyd, was diagnosed with fourth stage cancer. We were tremendously helped by the Spirit of God, the word of God, the people of God, and……….time. But right now you need people with open hearts and open arms. We love you both and Jesus loves you. Lloyd and Bonnie in California.

  • Meghan B.

    May 24, 2012 at 11:59 pm

    I am so, so sorry for your loss. I am thinking of you and your boys, and sending strength your way.

  • Shannon

    May 24, 2012 at 11:36 pm

    Diana, I’m praying for you! I’m so glad that you got to see your little boys, if only for a short while. I know that it may not feel like a gift right now, but those short moments will be worth all of the pain you and your family are going through. Whenever you may feel at your lowest, just remember that you have two beautiful children waiting for you in Heaven. You are truly inspiring – the love and sacrifice you offered to give Preston and Julian an opportunity to experience life in the world is so amazing. You are a terrific mother; don’t feel guilty for needing time to grieve.
    Sending all of my love your way in hopes that you’ll be filled with strength and peace.

  • Sarah

    May 24, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. Ps. 9:9,10

    I’m learning more & more that the words, I’m sorry, are all there really is to say. My heart aches for you & your family. Still praying for you as you figure out how to live life differently. <3

  • Sarah

    May 24, 2012 at 10:52 pm

    Preston and Julian ARE real. To so many people. I am so so so sorry for your loss and the additional pain that our messed up culture adds because of those 3 days.

    Thank you so much for sharing your story so openly and honestly. Preston and Julian continue to impact the world through you.

    I hope God can use the prayers and love of a stranger to comfort you as you grieve.

  • Norma Taylor

    May 24, 2012 at 10:49 pm

    Bless you and your family with the eventual peace I promise you will experience. Grief may seem unkind right now but it is necessary and as time passes, you will be thankful for it. It is by grief that we are completely able to move on with our lives after experiencing such a tragedy. Your dear little ones will always be with you and you will never forget them. Someday, you will be able to think of them without the pain, thanks to grief.
    I pray that you will experience lots of love, support and comfort at this time.

  • Connie

    May 24, 2012 at 10:44 pm

    Diana, I am so, so sorry for your loss. But I know you have the strength to carry on, to remember them as your beautiful baby boys forever, to cherish their memory and be thankful for the time you were gifted to spend with them, short as it was.

    Sending you the best of wishes,


  • Crystal B

    May 24, 2012 at 10:36 pm

    To the world as we know it they may not be considered but to Jesus they are real and perfect little boys. I firmly believe that. They are your sons and nothing will change that. So sorry that you have this pain and heart break and nothing but time will ease it. I hope you will find a peaceful way to endure this time in your life.

  • Anne

    May 24, 2012 at 10:27 pm

    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

  • A

    May 24, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    I’m so sorry you had to say goodbye to them so soon. You’ll be in my thoughts.

  • Anna

    May 24, 2012 at 10:11 pm

    All my love to you and your beautiful family.

  • Lindsey

    May 24, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    Don’t lose faith– no matter how impossible it might seem right now. You’re stronger than you could ever believe.

  • Teresa

    May 24, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    I’ve been wanting to write you for awhile, but there are truly no words to say. Your words are so touching and heartbreaking. Just reading them makes me want to put my arms around you and pray. A close friend of mine lost her baby last year at 25 weeks. A little angel named Juliann Grace who lived two blessed days, and who we all still cherish and I call my niece. I want to tell you that I am praying comfort and rest for you and your family every day. I pray that your words continue to reach people and I thank God that you have an outlet to write your feelings and thoughts here, to let people like me be able to help lift you up to our Father.
    Love, ‘

  • NTE

    May 24, 2012 at 9:18 pm

    They’re so real. And so is your sadness and grief: I wish there were something else to say besides how sorry I am, and that I am sending you and your family so many positive thoughts. Be as well as possible.

  • Tanya

    May 24, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    Your boys are very real people…just look at how many people they have touched! The stupidest thing anyone ever said to me, when we lost our second baby at 16 weeks’ gestation (22 years ago this weekend) was how LUCKY we were to have lost our baby early, before it was a real baby, because that way it wasn’t so hard on us. It took every ounce of my being not to haul off and punch her. And if I saw her today I still might do it.

  • HopeF

    May 24, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    My eyes filled with tears when I read your post. I’m so sorry for you loss and I am praying that the Father will comfort you at this time. You are an amazing mother and your love for your sons will ensure that they are loved and remembered.

  • Katrina @ Hix in the Stix – Army Edition

    May 24, 2012 at 8:54 pm

    I still can’t comprehend how they could possibly not be considered “real” – but know that they are “real” to people all over this country (and possibly a few other too!). And the loss of them is felt keenly to so many. Continuing to pray for you all with lots of love!!!

  • Kayla

    May 24, 2012 at 8:46 pm

    I am so sorry for your losses. You and your family are in my thoughts every day <3

  • Eric

    May 24, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    So sorry for your loss. I’m praying that God may comfort you in this time of great sorrow and strengthen you for the future. Know that your sons will be remembered and that God will redeem this seemingly hopeless situation.

    God bless you,

  • Erin

    May 24, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    My heart is so broken for you. Praying for peace in your sadness, joy from your tragedy and unexpected moments of light. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you a big hug, though I’ve never even met you.

    God Bless You.

    Love and hugs from a stranger in Wyoming!

  • Lauren

    May 24, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    My heart breaks for you and your family. I cannot imagine the pain that comes from losing children. I hope you find strength beyond what you knew you possessed and know that you have many caring people in your life willing to lend you some of theirs. Prayers for you and your family.

  • Megan

    May 24, 2012 at 8:22 pm

    Diana, What a tragic thing to happen to someone. I hope that God blesses you with the peace of knowing Preston and Julian are at peace. You seem like a strong woman and I believe that you will be able to continue on. Stay strong. Prayers and hugs to you and your family.

  • Christine

    May 24, 2012 at 8:21 pm

    I´m so sorry for your loss! Sending you lots of prayers and strength!

  • Lois

    May 24, 2012 at 8:18 pm

    Please accept my condolences…I know this has to be hard and so very painful. Please know you have so many people sending loving thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Please take care of yourself, you need some TLC right now.

  • Celia

    May 24, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    I am so, so sorry to hear this sad story. It is good to know that you have pictures of your boys and their hands and foot prints. Do not feel guilty for not looking at them yet. It will be an amazing day when you feel ready to do so. Your babies will always be with you. Thinking of you with love xxxx

  • Marie

    May 24, 2012 at 8:05 pm

    Sending out positive thoughts for you and your family through this very difficult time.

  • Katie

    May 24, 2012 at 8:02 pm

    I am so, so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. I cannot begin to imagine your pain right now, but know that I am thinking of and praying for you and your family.

  • Cathy

    May 24, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    My heart aches for you. My daughter was born at 28 weeks. She lived till she was 4 but had many physical and mental disabilities. Even though right now it’s hard to understand why this has happened to your family just remember God has a plan even though we don’t always understand it. Maybe once you get through all of this pain you will be able to use your experience to help someone else in the same position. You and your family are in my prayers. I wish you the best.

  • Jennifer Miller

    May 24, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    So sorry you have to experience such a heartwrenching loss. May you feel love, strength and comfort knowing you are in all our thoughts and prayers.

  • hope548

    May 24, 2012 at 7:08 pm

    So very sorry for your incredible loss. Wishing you and your family strength, peace, and comfort.

  • Jonathan

    May 24, 2012 at 7:04 pm

    Wow Diana. It’s just hard to find any words for this. I am truly so sorry for everything you’ve lost here. Thank you for your courage in carrying your boys. I am so glad they are in heaven where you can be re-united some day. May God send you a peace that only He can give.

    Blessings and Love.
    – Jonathan Ruth

  • Janaye

    May 24, 2012 at 7:01 pm

    Diana, I am so incredibly sorry for your lost. I can’t imagine the depression you’re going through. Yet by your above post, you convey a hope, and THAT is a hard thing to have amidst such sorrowful circumstances. Thank you for being an example to me in that, for holding on to what you know for fact – they are with Jesus. I pray that He fills you with comfort and surrounds you with peace.

  • Petra

    May 24, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    They will come back to you.
    Take the time right now and try not to get into any guilt. Love surrounds you.

  • Courtney

    May 24, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    Sending you prayers for peace and knowledge that they are living wonderfully and being held in the arms of Christ. May you find yourself surrounded by love and motivation and you take time to take care of yourselves. Sending love.

  • Tina

    May 24, 2012 at 6:40 pm

    My little boy got a very similar urn. It seems so stupid sometimes how hospitals make it like they were not real people. My son passed away in utero so he never got a birth certificate and my spouse was not acknowledged as his parent. It still bugs me, some people do not realize how important it is to validate the lives of the babies we loose. They were real people, we loved them so much, we will never forget them.

  • Danielle

    May 24, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    Diana, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I don’t think there’s anything worse than burying your children, all the more so before they were even born. I know you and your family will remember Preston and Julian always, and we will too.

    Lots of us are thinking of you today and in the days to come

    Love Bombs from NYC,


  • Nicole/MadlabPost

    May 24, 2012 at 6:34 pm

    You have my most sincere wishes for love and support from your friends, family and extended community during this heartbreaking time. I hope that you allow yourself time to grieve and also hope that you remember how much of an impact they had while they were here physically, as well as the impact that they will continue to have as they watch over you in spirit.

    Preston and Julian were here, were very “real” and they will always be your little boys. Remember that and hopefully, it can bring you peace and closure for this chapter in your life and in theirs, while also opening up a new chapter of honor through their urn and positive reflection on your strength and faith.

  • Alyson

    May 24, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    🙁 Love you, Sam and Bella…and those two little boys so much. <3

  • Lesa

    May 24, 2012 at 6:23 pm

    Diana–I really don’t know what to say because nothing I say will make you feel any better…so I’ll pray instead. Your boys are with Jesus, which means that they are free, healthy, happy, and are waiting for you!! Praying for you as you grieve and heal.

  • Ashley

    May 24, 2012 at 6:17 pm

    My heart goes out to you…sending much love and many prayers to you and your family

  • Ambar Escudero

    May 24, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    Im so sorry to hear this, sending love your way.

  • A. S.

    May 24, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    My twin sister and I were born at 23 weeks. We were in the NICU for two months after that before my mother was even allowed to hold us. Hearing her talk about the fear of losing us during that time makes it clear how incredibly painful such a situation is for a mother. I cannot even begin to imagine how it must feel for you to have lost your beautiful baby boys. They were real and now they are wonderful little angels.

  • Megan

    May 24, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    *HUGS* I am so sorry. I hope that you find peace soon.

  • gail

    May 24, 2012 at 6:00 pm

    My heart aches for your loss. Know you are are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Angela

    May 24, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    I’m so sorry Diana for you and your family and everything you’re going through. Your little boys were real-you know it and we all know it. Praying for you guys. Angie xx

  • Erin Lindsey

    May 24, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    My heart breaks a little for you, Preston, Julian and their Papa. I only hope that the good wishes and healing thoughts I am sending your way bring you the slightest bit of comfort. Try not to feel guilty not looking at their pictures just yet. In time, those things will provide you comfort. You will always be their mama, and they know how much they fill your hearts.

  • Maureen

    May 24, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss. Wishing you strength and comfort.

  • Michelle

    May 24, 2012 at 5:44 pm

    Arbitrary dates and cut off points will never dictate whether a child is ‘real’. Your love and devotion is more than enough evidence to show your beautiful boys were in this world and had a lasting effect on so many around them. Take the time to nurture your soul in this loss before you surround yourself in the comfort the physical reminders of your sons can bring. Sending you much love and strength as you make your way through this darkness. xx

  • Allie

    May 24, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    Not only have you been blessed with the spirits of these two boys, if only for a short time, but you are truly a blessing to this world, for all of the love, light, courage and strength you have brought through your experience. You are loved. You are love.

  • Al

    May 24, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss. God bless you.

  • rachel

    May 24, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    You are and will always be a mother to beautiful, perfect twin boys. Love to you and your family,
    Love from another mom to twin boys

  • Chris

    May 24, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    So sorry for your loss. Julian and Preston are beautiful and their in a good place right now looking down on you and your family. I can’t imagine your pain. Stay strong.

  • Maria

    May 24, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    Dear Diana, I don’t have words to tell you how sorry I am for your
    loss. Take a step at a time and remember that God is there with you as
    well as your darling angels will be from now on. You will be in my prayers.
    Sending lots of love from a love bomber in México

  • Alyssa

    May 24, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say. As others have said, you have pictures and memories to remember them by – that proves that they were here, they were real, they existed – no matter what anyone else tries to say. They’re your babies, and even though they’re gone now, you’ll make sure that they’re never forgotten and always loved.

  • M

    May 24, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss. Know that you gave your sons the best chance at life that you could have had and that they were and are real.

  • Holly

    May 24, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    Praying for strength, healing, and comfort at such a sad sad time. Sending much love and hugs!!!

  • Maya

    May 24, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    Hello There!

    I send you a world full of Love! It’s hard now – but remember, you were a Great Mom to them for the short time they were with us – and just think that one day you will meet again, and what Joy there will be them! They Love You as You Love them, and are near you know in your sorrow!
    Take Courage, Have Faith!

    Take Care of Yourself – You are a fabulous and very special person!!
    I wish you much Love and Joy.

  • Kay

    May 24, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    Diana, you, Preston and Julian have all made history and are forever in our hearts and prayers. (sending prayers up and hugs your way)

  • heidi

    May 24, 2012 at 5:09 pm

    I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet babes, Julian and Preston. I wish I knew what to say but I can’t imagine your pain. Please, please don’t feel guilty. You were a perfect mother to them and none of this was your fault. I’m praying God carries you through, and it is lovely that their little lives are honoured here on this blog and witnessed by all of your readers and commenters. The love remains.

    God bless you and your family,


  • Resmyrranda

    May 24, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    I am so constantly amazed at the many ways and means love comes into our lives and makes it richer for the experience. Where there is great pain, there is even greater Love to soothe, strengthen, heal, and lift up. How equally amazing that when its all said and done, love truly is all that matters. What an impact your beautiful lives have and will continue to make on so many. Sometimes it just doesn’t take alot of time and that’s all that’s needed. Great blessings come from great sorrows and I know that I know, your family, those here, and those in Heaven, are all working together to create and continue to share that everpresent UNFAILING love:)

  • jenn

    May 24, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    im sending much love and healing energy your way. please know I’m carrying you and your family in my heart. I’m so very sorry for the loss of this world, without Preston and Julian in it.

  • Trashstar

    May 24, 2012 at 4:59 pm


    Dear Diana,

    How my heart aches for you and your family, your boys are just as real as we are and our society has done them and you a terrible misservice by not recognising that. Before today is done, more people than you can imagine will know that your boys were real and were here and how much possibility lay before them and how terribly they are missed by their Mommy and Daddy.

    But I bet that like all little boys they are probably tearing up a storm in heaven right now, setting light to things just like their dad! But until the day you can all be together again, know that they have each other and they will always know how much you love them…

    With love and light to you


  • Lauren

    May 24, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    My heart is aching for you. Sending you love because there are no words. God bless your sweet baby boys and your dear family.

  • Sondra

    May 24, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    Wishing you love, time and breath as you navigate the hills of grief and the loss of your beloved children. They are “real” and live on now in your heart and wrapped in the arms of God. I am so sorry for your loss.

  • Nelie

    May 24, 2012 at 4:53 pm

    I think what makes anyone “real” is that they are loved for exactly what they are. Your boys are “real” because of your love and all the plans you had and the role they will always have in your life. Sending you love in your time of sorrow and hoping that the love of everyone around you holds you up through the VERY real loss you are feeling.

  • Cheryl

    May 24, 2012 at 4:51 pm

    May you find love and support during this difficult time. So sorry for your losses.

  • lori

    May 24, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    Sending prayers and love your way.

  • Lesley

    May 24, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    Sending love and thoughts your way. What you are going through is unimaginable, and I wish you the strength you need in order to continue on.

  • Carley

    May 24, 2012 at 4:36 pm


    I am so sorry that you have gone through this pain. I am sending you all of the positive thoughts and hopeful energy I can. You are very strong for having the courage to write about your experiences. You are helping so many people by sharing your story.

    Peace and love,

  • Abby

    May 24, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    I am so sorry you have to suffer through the loss of your boys. Though they might not be “officially” old enough, I sure consider them just as real and beautiful as any other baby. You all are in my thoughts and prayers

  • M

    May 24, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    I am so sorry. Words just aren’t enough. Nothing is enough to communicate the sadness of this loss. I lost a baby too, so I know how you feel. I send you a huge hug and my prayers. You are also welcome to contact me if you find yourself needing to grieve with someone who understands. My heart goes out to you.

  • Tosh

    May 24, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    What a moving, beautiful tribute to your two boys. Your love for them is strong and clear. I am so sorry for your loss, and will hold thoughts of love, peace and support for you and your family.

  • Angela

    May 24, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear about your loss! I am thankful your boys are home with you now and wish you a beautiful service in June.

  • Terry from Arkansas

    May 24, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    I cannot imagine any words that I might say that would be of comfort to you – but I will try.

    There is nothing that could be more painful to a mother than the loss of a child, except maybe watching a child suffer. While you are not able to hold those babies in your arms, they are in a joyful place where you will be able to join them some day.

    Allow yourselves to grieve as long as and in whatever ways are appropriate for you.

    Please know that many hearts all over the world are breaking for you and with you. We are sending our love and trying to comfort you as best we can. I know that it is not enough – it will never be enough. Loving thoughts and prayers are with you today and always.

  • Aleigh

    May 24, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    A person’s a person, no matter how small. I am very sorry for your loss.

  • HaEun

    May 24, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    Diana, I’m so sorry to hear about your boys.
    Sending you much love, prayers, blessings and comfort,
    Take care always, xx

  • DonnaRey

    May 24, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    Thinking of you, praying for you. I have never met you and I don’t know you, but I hope knowing that one stranger acknowledges your pain helps in the smallest way. I know you don’t want to hear that it will get better, but it will. You will never forget them.

  • Caroline

    May 24, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ll pray that each day gets a bit easier for you and your family, bringing you peace.

  • Tina

    May 24, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Sending you much love, the promise of hope, the certainty of faith, and the strength to mourn. Feel His heart against yours and know He knows your sorrow.

  • Erika Icon

    May 24, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    Diana, I am so sorry about Preston and Julian–you were a great mom to them during their short time here. I will chant for you, your family and the boys–that’s how Nichiren Buddhists (like me) pray. Please take care of yourself.

  • Beverly

    May 24, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    My heart breaks for you. I went through the exact same thing 24 years ago. Your sweet boys were real, don’t let anyone tell you differently. It took me months before I could look at the pictures and foot prints. Take your time, grieve, and than remember your babies with all the love in your heart. I will be holding you in my thoughts and will ask my boys (Mark and Alex) to greet your sweet babies in heaven. One day you will be reunited with them, and what joy that will bring you.

    Take care and bless you.

  • mary

    May 24, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your boys will always be in your heart. May every breath bring you and your family peace and love.

  • Jessica

    May 24, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    You have recorded and honored your sons’ short lives here, and they are now part of all of us. Nothing can take that away. Sending you much love and a big hug.

  • Katie

    May 24, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    Sending you love, strength, and positive vibes. This isn’t an easy thing to endure, but I’m thinking of you!

  • Katie

    May 23, 2012 at 8:51 pm


    there are no words, so just…love.

  • Julia

    May 23, 2012 at 8:45 pm

    This is written so beautifully and is so tragically heartbreaking. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you continue this journey of grief.

  • Angela

    May 23, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    I’m aching for you. You and your family are in my thoughts and will be for a long time coming. I cannot say enough…

  • Lisa

    May 23, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    My heart hurts with you. Take it all, one second at a time, the hurt does not go away, just changes in many different ways. . . Praying for you and your family now and always. . .

  • Roxanne

    May 23, 2012 at 11:25 am

    My heart breaks for you and I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I remember picking up my sons ashes in the tiny silver heart that sits on our mantle. Your boys will be known and remembered. Be gentle with yourself.

  • melissa

    May 23, 2012 at 9:48 am

    Sweet, sweet friend. My heart aches for you today. Praying extra hard. They have an amazing legacy because of you. And because of you they were MORE than recognized and recorded. You did so much for them Diana. And they are waiting for their mommy in the place we all long to be. We all grieve their loss and hurt for your family. No one should ever have to endure this… <3

  • Cameron

    May 23, 2012 at 9:44 am

    You have made sure that your sons are recorded in history. While there may not be a birth certificate on file in a city drawer somewhere, you captured their lives with you. You named them, have their photos, and took their prints, and most importantly, love them. God bless you for your faith and strength.

  • Tiffany @MomNom

    May 23, 2012 at 9:06 am

    Praying for you (and Sam) today and always. Life begins at conception, they are REAL…don’t let anyone tell you differently. XOXO

  • Kassia

    May 23, 2012 at 9:01 am

    I will never forget your boys. Never. I know we don’t know eachother, really, but your words about your babies lives have become part of my story. This is just a small part of the beautiful masterpiece that God is painting of your life. I have been changed by your sons.

  • Nadja

    May 23, 2012 at 9:00 am

    They are so very real and loved by an immense amount of people. We’ll all remember then forever.

    So many prayers in my heart for you and your family.

  • aly

    May 23, 2012 at 9:00 am

    Yes, this is a hard day, We brought Kiernan home in his urn, nestled in a blue velvet box the day we were to have our csection. I also have those pictures and handprints….know its ok if you can’t look at them yet. I couldn’t at first either. There are no words adequate for your loss. Those boys have been your babies since day 1, short of 20 weeks or not. I’m thinking about you and Sam and sending hugs from Bama.

  • Kacia

    May 23, 2012 at 8:51 am

    my fear of not knowing what to say, has caused me to stay quiet.

    I am loving you from afar + praying desperately for you.

  • Kim

    May 23, 2012 at 8:50 am

    I’m so very sorry. You know my heart breaks for you. Art and I are praying for all of you — and Violet is as well. We send our love.

  • molly

    May 23, 2012 at 8:48 am

    I feel like I keep saying the same thing over again. But I will say it again. I’m so sorry this happened. Don’t ever think that they aren’t REAL. They were real to you and to so many other people throughout the world.

  • Arnebya

    May 23, 2012 at 8:16 am

    I wish there was something I could do or say, something to make this easier. I have nothing. But I’m here, I’m thinking of you, and I’m hoping and praying for your strength.

  • Nikki

    May 23, 2012 at 7:52 am

    Sending you love. Just lots and lots of love.

  • Jess @ MomEinstein

    May 23, 2012 at 7:27 am

    They are real to everyone here and they are real to you. That’s all that matters.

    I’m glad they’re home with you.

  • Christine

    May 23, 2012 at 7:23 am

    There’s nothing I can say that will ease your pain, but please know that this stranger is sending you love and support from far away.

  • Lindsay @lilloveandluck

    May 23, 2012 at 7:12 am

    Sending you love and prayers.

  • Jessi J.

    May 23, 2012 at 7:02 am

    That is so sad that they weren’t considered “real”….just wow. They were perfect little babies. Eyes, fingers, toes, mouth….BABIES! I wish that was different in this world 🙁

    I’m so sorry. I still pray for you daily!

  • Kalen

    May 23, 2012 at 6:31 am

    Looking at their beautiful little urn and thinking of how you fought for their chance at life. So sorry that this is your story. <3

  • Becki

    May 23, 2012 at 6:25 am

    Don’t beat yourself up over not looking at their photos and hand prints and footprints yet. You love them so much, and that being hard for you doesn’t mean you don’t love them. You are amazingly strong, and I’m sorry for all you’ve gone through. It’s amazing how you can go through 19 and a half LONG weeks of pregnancy, but the medical profession won’t even recognize those sweet lives as real. It breaks my heart. Hang in there. I’m praying for you.

  • Jessica

    May 23, 2012 at 6:13 am

    Oh the memories this brings back makes me want to sit at my laptop and cry for a while. So incredibly painful when this is what we have left. And you are so right about looking at their prints, you have an entire lifetime to do that. Have you heard about Molly Bears? They will make a bear that is the exact weight of each of your boys when they were born. The wait for one is very long but when I finally received mine it was so comforting to have one more thing that signified that my daughter was here.
    You are in my thoughts, hoping for moments of peace for you and your family and sending a million hugs.

  • Misty Pratt

    May 23, 2012 at 6:13 am

    Any child, no matter how long he is carried by his mother, is “real.” The urn is beautiful.

  • Jennifer @ Also Known As the Wife

    May 23, 2012 at 6:07 am

    I don’t have any words that can do any sort of justice to what you’re experiencing just know that you all are in my thoughts and I’m glad you were able to bring your boys home.

  • Jana

    May 23, 2012 at 6:04 am

    Oh, my heart. I’m still just so sad that you had to say goodbye to your boys. I’m also so glad you have pictures, hand and footprints. I long to have those things and even if you never, in your entire life, look at them, they’re there. To prove they existed, whether they’re recorded or not. Prayers to you today and always.

  • Katie McAleece

    May 23, 2012 at 6:03 am

    Praying for you, specifically today, after reading this. May God comfort and bless like never before.

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