Dear Julian and Preston,
Today is your 2 month birthday. Today you have also been gone 2 months.
Daddy and I miss you more than you both could know. So much. Your time with us was brief but changed our lives forever.
Bella asks about you two a lot. She isn’t sure why there aren’t “Two babies in Mama’s tummy” anymore, but she still loves to look at your ultrasound pictures. I ache knowing what a great big sister she would have been to you here on earth. When I look at her, I wonder how much you would have all looked alike. And it hurts.
We were all so excited for you to be here with us. Overwhelmed, but excited. We had so many plans, we were so ready for our life to tip upside down. And it did, but in a way none of us wanted or expected it to.
So many of us think about you every day. It makes it a lot easier on me to know your story touched so many other lives. It wasn’t all in vain.
I look at your pictures and long to have you back with me, growing and kicking. I miss you so very much. We have so much to look forward to, but the loss of our sons will always be a hole in our lives.
I think of you often in Heaven, hoping you’re looking down at us and getting to know us from there. I can’t wait to see you and hold you and love on you both one day. I will get to whisper how much I loved you while I was down here, how every day I saw two little tow headed boys tagging along after their sister, making a mess, teasing each other.
No matter what happens, we will never forget or replace you. I will always have 2 more children waiting for me in Heaven. I wish I could have told you how proud I was of you both for hanging on and taken in every little bit of perfection and moment more than I was able to. The few minutes I got alone with you both were so incredible. You changed my whole life in a second.
Know that you are longed for, remembered, loved, and missed every moment of our days. I promise what we did in that hospital won’t be forgotten.
We love you forever and always,
Daddy, Mama, and Bella