Is the Grass Really Greener?
Rebecca blogs at Daily Rebecca about being a new Navy wife and a new SAHM. She was my roommate for BlogHer this year and just as genuine in person as she is in her writing. She recently switched from working full time to being at home full time and talks about the transition and the realization that everything – including something you wanted for so long – has both ups and downs.
I had an AH-MAZ-ING time with Diana at BlogHer12. We truly were two peas in a pod, and the weekend away was just what I needed after a bit of a rough patch with my two-year old little girl, Grace.
Here’s a little background…
I dreamed my whole life of being a stay at home mom.
It’s what my mom did and I watched her love every day of it.
I remember being a teenager and people would ask me what I wanted to do when I grew up. My answer was always, “Ultimately I want to be a wife and mother, but in the mean time I want to be a…
Yeah. I changed my mind a few times along the way 🙂
Fast forward about a decade… I had finished college, gotten married and had full-time job. My husband was trying to figure out what he wanted in a career, and I was plugging along at work dreaming of the day I could stay home with our kids.
We talked often about starting a family, but I was adamant that I didn’t want to until we could afford for me to stay home.
We couldn’t, so we kept moving along. Year after year. Both of us working.
I had a dream job that provided success and gratification, but I kept peering over the proverbial fence to the stay at home moms standing on grass that seemed a whole lot greener than my own.
After so many years of romanticizing the whole SAHM thing, I’d turned it into the “end all be all” of life. It had become my only goal and the one thing I thought would make me truly happy.
I just couldn’t fathom how stay at home moms had anything to complain about.
I would think, “Why on earth would you want a break from your kids everyday…don’t you know how lucky you are to stay home with them?”
I’d scoff at tweets or Facebook statuses that were anything less than glowing remarks about life as a stay at home mom.
Then, I became a stay at home mom.
After working full-time during the first two years of my daughter’s life, my husband started medical school and joined the Navy, which allowed me to leave my job and stay home with my little girl.
The first week was just as I’d imagined.
Every day felt like vacation. I was flooded with the overwhelming realization that my schedule was whatever I wanted it to be. I savored each moment with my precious girl and it felt like a never-ending magical weekend. I’d sit in the baby pool with her and just stare as she splashed in the water. I was so patient and felt like I had an endless capacity for playing with and entertaining her. Making lunch and dinner was fun and I made sure everything was perfect since this was my new job after all.
I was so glad that we’d survived the past couple of crazy years and were finally tasting the fruits of our labor. I woke up every day and pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.
I continue to be grateful for this new phase of life, and I savor moments throughout the day, but I now see that this side of the fence isn’t so different from the other side.
There are lush green patches and clumps of crabgrass too.
It’s not perfect because, well…nothing is.
Being a mother is a gloriously difficult pursuit. We all have our challenges and we all have our victories.
It doesn’t matter which side of the fence we’re on. It’s easier to focus on the crabgrass poking the soles of our feet than it is to see the soft green tufts all around us.
We need to remember that the grass isn’t any greener over there because…we’re all standing in the same field 🙂
Pop on over to Rebecca’s blog for more.