Today I am overwhelmed.
I have so much to do, so very much, and I just can’t seem to find the right amount of time to get any of it done. Even poorly. These days don’t happen often since I’ve gotten into a pretty good routine working from home, but when they do? OH MY.
Bella has been a mess all day. Starting this morning, first thing. I was up with both Charlie (potty time) and her (where is that darn water bottle) last night, Sam woke me up at 5:30 to say bye, Bella was up by 7, then the dog crapped on the floor because it took too long to put my contacts in.
Then I realized we have no milk, so breakfast was makeshift. Shower, Skype with Rebecca because I haven’t seen her since BlogHer and miss her face. Bella decided to freak out the entire time about Charlie jumping and nipping (did you know tiny dog nips can cause entire limbs to be ripped off? No? NEITHER DID I.)
I finally put her to bed where she screamed at the top of her lungs till she fell asleep. Then I realized we had a vet appt at 11, but I was supposed to do a call with ABC News right then (more on that later) so I canceled the vet when I realized Bella wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon.
She woke up, having peed the bed and still cranky with a slight fever, making me feel terrible for being impatient with her since she is obviously coming down with something. Then the conference call came, and to make everyone quiet I put on Curious George while the woman asked how I was doing. I looked at my mess of a house, the dog jumping on a sobbing Bella, my dirty dishes and said,
“I’m really good – how are you?” And inside I laughed at the absurdity of it all.
I got off the phone and sat down to try to write and realized it was time for lunch. With no food. And the dog peed on the floor.
So I assessed the situation. I also remembered to take my Zoloft but I mainly just assessed.
And instead of being a cranky, overwhelmed mom that ends up doing not much at all, I changed my perspective on importance for today. I ordered pizza for lunch, texted our sitter to see if she could come in from 2-4 so I could grocery shop and write, and the snuggled up on the couch with Bella while eating and watching Jon and Kate Plus 8.
Then Bella did rice scooping (she just scoops it from one bowl to the next – like 45 minutes of fun) and, after she threw it on the floor, I put her down for what is hopefully another nap – short as it may be.
So I sit here now with heartburn from the pizza, a dog on my lap that needs to go outside, a child who I can hear is clearly not sleeping in her room, and a sitter who will be here in 20 minutes while my shopping list sits sadly on the coffee table with 5 items. We have a puppy training class tonight and dinner has to be made sometime in there.
But just writing it out on here makes me feel better. Today was a mess. That’s ok. Tomorrow might be better.
And if it’s not, that’s ok too. Eventually it will be.