Why Do I Write About Our Life?

September 28, 2012

Even before I lost the boys, I always had critics of writing online. Publicly. Baring my soul and airing the dirty laundry.

It isn’t often easy to keep going when you are mocked, told what you do is creating a fake world, or that you simply want attention. Especially when it comes from friends.

I’ll admit it, I blog partially for the feedback. For the community and the way you all make me feel when I say, “Man, today was rough,” or “Guess what?! This is amazing!” It’s validating to know other people are interested in my story and how we’re doing. It was healing to have people who knew what losing a pregnancy in second trimester was like. It’s been incredible to walk the same journey with others.

And yet, still I struggled with the answer for why I do this. Why I put our lives on here for everyone to read – when so many others go through our experiences or worse and never feel the need to share it like this? Why don’t I just write in a journal or make every one of these posts private?

Today as I drove to therapy I was listening to

::ahem::

KLOVE.

I never listen to them. Super Christiany music isn’t really my style, but I got sucked into them. On a commercial break, the announcer comes on and says something about Robin from Good Morning America being hassled online for getting “too much” coverage of her cancer, mom dying, and bone marrow transplant. People were asking, “Why does this all need to be covered? Can’t Robin just do this and not want attention?”

The announcer then said the simplest, most profound thing. “We aren’t just sharing our lives – we’re sharing the life God created us to have. So in that, there’s no shame.”

What an incredible statement to make on something I’ve struggled with for so long. What a sense of freedom – this isn’t a mess or just me being an attention whore. Sure there is some of that. But this is also showing God’s hand in my life and yours. With the passion to write, we were called to share it with others, and this is one of the ways I choose to. And there isn’t anything wrong with honestly and openly telling your story.

Here’s to sharing the lives we were given by God – no matter what kind of life it is.

 

17 Comments

  • Hormonal Imbalances™ » This Isn’t Just My Story

    October 4, 2012 at 9:20 am

    […] I remembered the post about writing because this was God’s story of our lives, not just […]

  • Tracy @ The UnCoordinated Mommy

    October 1, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    I always feel the need to explain to people why I blog. To give excuses. But it really boils down to, I do it for me. I enjoy doing it. Whether I get enjoyment from sharing cute pictures of my kids or from trying to help others with things I have learned the hard way, it doesn’t really matter. And the more I have done this, the more I remember how much I loved to write in college. I have yet to do any “real” creative writing for my blog, but I hope to soon.

    But enough about me 🙂 The reason why I have stuck around on your blog is because you are a beautiful writer. You bare your soul when you write and it speaks to me. I may not be able to relate to what you write about, but I don’t need to. In my opinion that’s what makes a great writer. So if I were you, I would simply say, I write because I have to. What should it matter where it’s published. Even great writers like Hemingway, Dickinson, Joyce, and Keats wanted their works to be read. Why shouldn’t you??

  • Lara

    September 30, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    Amen, sister. I recently discovered your blog and was drawn in by your story. The other day I got the news that a dear friend of mine lost her first baby due in Dec. When she’s ready (or when I think she might be ready), I’m going to direct her here. So maybe that’s another reason you write about your life, whether consciously or not — to help others heal.

  • Marina

    September 30, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    I have been reading your blog for a few weeks now. There are many things that I don’t have in common with you: I’m of a different religion, I’m not a military wife(though many in my ancestry have served), I’m not home schooling my little ones, I haven’t suffered the horrific loss that you have. But, the point of writing such personal things is to share with the world our similarities. Our common human-ness. That we can all have different experiences and all be so much the same inside. That a stranger with seemingly little in common with you can root for your successes, can grieve your losses, can see our commonalities and have a sense of connectedness with other people’s experiences. If we don’t read others and share our own experiences how can we understand one another and have compassion and empathy for others? Keep on doing what your doing, hold your head high in the knowledge that what you do is bringing people together, not tearing them apart through secrecy and divisiveness. <3

  • Jess

    September 29, 2012 at 10:50 pm

    I love this Diana. I’ve also thought about this but to the contrary as why I don’t share more. You’re right. This is a matter of our lives through God’s eyes. Definitely stuff to think ok. Xoxo

  • SteeblerElf

    September 29, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    I adore your blog. I look forward to getting emails telling me that there is a new entry, and I really like what you said here, today. For me, too, it feels very timely. You see, lately, I’ve been struggling [again] with thoughts that I wish I could have a do-over so I could “do things right”…try to fix the mistakes I’ve made and erase the blemishes that blot my life’s story. I wish I could change some of the things that draw attention – and judgement – to myself and my family. However, as I think about it in this moment, I realize that those blemishes actually bring some depth to my testimony, some color to my experience and some breadth to understanding and compassion for others.

  • Tweepwife

    September 29, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    I often wonder why I blog too. I don’t have a reason per se. And my children are grown so I don’t “mommy blog” really. But I spend a lot of time thinking about life’s passages and seasons, and I have such a deep faith and so much conviction that silence destroys people slowly. The ability to express, to see other people struggling, to see your own feelings put into words – these create a community of honesty that is lacking in the ‘real’ world for many people. My nineteen year old daughter send me this text late last night: “I’ve been up reading your whole blog. I am sobbing. It’s amazing and don’t ever stop doing it. I love you mama.” So there you have it 🙂

  • Alexa

    September 29, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    I followed your progress on FB when you went into labor. I had actually JUST started blogging about the loss of one of my twin daughters, and I really was amazed that you could write about all of the details so soon… during the loss. It took me six months to be able to sit down and write. But I ask myself some of the same questions, and the answer is simple for me. I write it because I would go crazy if I didn’t. I can’t TELL people most of my feelings, and I also feel guilty about seeming like I’m complaining when some have gone through so much worse. But I also write to bring awareness to Twin-to-Twin Transfusion (TTTS) that nearly took both of our girls, because I want to honor my daughter, and in a way, to help others who may also be grieving. Also to help others understand me. And your blogging helps. Through you, I was able to channel some emotions and feelings. And I promise you, the people who want to read your blog are getting something from it. Sorry that was a big ramble… hugs to you.

  • Joy@BundlesOfJoy

    September 29, 2012 at 12:28 pm

    I started blogging because I felt that there are a lot of struggles that people carry silently, and I wanted to put things out in the open. I remember feeling relief as a new mom when I heard others admit or confess something that I experienced but had felt guilty about. I still have posts where friends will say, “YES, that’s exactly IT! Why don’t more people talk about that?!”

    I know for a fact that a friend of mine finds encouragement from your blog. She lost her son at 20 weeks, and found comfort in knowing that she wasn’t alone. So blog on, my friend. You’re doing great work. And undoubtably, His work.

  • molly

    September 29, 2012 at 7:49 am

    KLOVE is the only station I listen to now. It lifts me up and puts hope in my soul. I love every song and sing along!

    I struggle sometimes with putting so much of my life out there for anyone to see or find. But ultimately, it’s up to me to choose if/when/how I share my journey. I always go back to this one thought . . .

    If I can help only one person, then it will have been worth it.

    Keep on writing!

  • jana’s three dresses

    September 29, 2012 at 6:08 am

    This is profound and encouraging. Thank you!

  • Katy Morgan

    September 29, 2012 at 1:12 am

    Just imagine if Paul decided not to tell his stories of pain and GRACE from prison. Where would we be? You keep telling your story, girl! And to God alone be the glory!

  • Julie

    September 28, 2012 at 10:10 pm

    I love Klove! I’m glad you were able to find validation for what you do – I have so appreciated following your blog in the last few months. 🙂

  • Katie

    September 28, 2012 at 9:01 pm

    Last fall I worked with our Wednesday night children’s classes at our church. The theme of the year was God doing extraordinary things with ordinary people. I worked with the kids for 4 Wednesdays on why I write my story and why they can write theirs too, if they feel called. I made them little journals and encouraged them to start by writing (or drawing for the little kids) the gifts that God had blessed them with. Both things, people, and talents. By the end we were all telling stories of ways God used us for good even though we are just ordinary, every day people.

    We are ordinary. But God uses us for the extraordinary. For every 10 haters, you are reaching someone’s heart. And that someone is who God is looking at. He brought them to this blog.

    The quote you shared is now tucked in my “writing inspiration” notebook.

    This year I will be writing with the kids again about how a bunch of little stories can make up one big story (like the Bible being God’s love story with humanity). I think of blogs this same way. We are all little stories making up God’s big story of love and his hand in our lives.

  • Amber

    September 28, 2012 at 9:01 pm

    Something I have learned over the last 18 months…kinda cheesy but it’s what keeps me writing and sharing my life: this isn’t our story to tell, it’s His story, through us.

    And FYI: the older my kids got and they could actually memorize songs and understand what the DJs were saying, the more I listened to corny Christian radio…and it’s grown on me 😉

  • Becki

    September 28, 2012 at 9:00 pm

    When we do what God calls us to do, it can seem strange to others. Doesn’t the Bible say that we should be peculiar people? Keep your focus on the Lord, and you can’t go wrong!

  • Caitlin MidAtlantic

    September 28, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    It’s so funny you posted this, as I spent the better part of my day going thru old posts and clicking some over to private. Not a ton, but some. Somehow, I feel that a few posts are just a little more than I want to share. Usually about other people in my life, not me. I love sharing MY life on the blog. But I should probably not share other people’s lives so much – especially when what I’m sharing isn’t so flattering!

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