First – thank you. Thank you. I am overwhelmed by the love and generosity and I owe so many emails and dm’s a response and I promise to try to get to them as life settles down.
Kaden’s heart isn’t pumping almost any blood out of his lower ventricles into his body. While his stats are actually good, the definition of this is heart failure.
We have been told by Children’s Medical center here in Dallas that there is a small, small chance the heart can heal itself, but the real possibility is that he needs a heart transplant.
In the meantime, my parents are staying at our home with Bella while Sam and I are here. We each packed a small bag before racing out on Friday. The day we thought we would take him home from the hospital that instead turned into one of the worst days of our life at a final checkup before release. We are currently staying with friends and weighing where to go from here.
We’ve been briefed by everyone you can imagine on his situation. This is life threatening. We are looking into second opinions but El Paso had the same diagnosis.
Here’s what we need. I’m not one of those people who has such strong faith that I go boldly before my God with requests. I wish I was. Losing the twins has shaken me to the core. This pregnancy made me fall to my knees again and again. And this? Now my son lays on the verge of life and death as my hands are tied and my faith is rocked. I question it all. All the time. We are blown away by this, and I have to say I’m just barely holding it together and I’m so, so angry this is happening to our child.
As crazy as its beginning to sound to even me – my God is a big God. He had different plans for Preston and Julian than my desperate prayers to let them live, but I still have a faint hope that miracles exist. And I’m asking – begging – all of you tonight with my broken Mama heart that misses all four of the children I can’t hold and feels like I’ve been dropped instead of carried – please pray for something specific. I may be let down (in my human eyes) again, but I just need us to do this for my son:
Pray that God heals his heart. Pray that the power of the Lord is shown through a miracle. Pray that even with my small faith, God can take my imperfect prayers and all of yours and turn this into something powerful. Something big.
I can’t do anymore. I have no strength to endure this without prayer. I’m emotionally done. But I believe as Beth Moore says in her book, “My God is who He says He is. He can do what He says He can.”
I’m praying with each breath that God hears my heart and let’s this be our miracle. Our son. Our life. Our daughter waiting to meet her brother.
Pray with me friends. Pray to our God that He will be there tomorrow as they do this sonogram on Kaden’s heart. Pray for a miracle for our little boy. Share this with everyone so we storm heavens gates with beseeching for an intervention. Fill in the gaps of my faith as we go before a God that loves us more than I can imagine.