Today you are two weeks old! We are so proud you have made it so far and done so well with your heart being as broken as it is. You have truly lived up to your name in your short time here – fighter.
We all had a big day in your room at Children’s. Your oxygen was turned down and we could give you a bottle of the milk I’ve been pumping and storing up. Your nurses are so encouraging with all of that, but seeing you finally content and full was the best feeling. I can’t imagine the tubes feeding you lipids and carbs through your stomach have been that great, but it was the best thing for you until you were a little stronger.
Daddy was able to give you a quick bath. We can’t put you in the water, but he wiped you down with wet washcloths and soap. You were very angry. Everyone is quite pleased at your lung power, and that reassured us again about it. You turn completely red when you’re mad, and at the end you held your breath in rage so long the nurse had to blow on you to make you take a breath. You may have gotten both of our tempers. It will be quite interesting when both you and your sister get going at home one day.
Every day we plan as best we can how to help you. How to bring us closer and more permanently to you as you fight to live. We love you so much already. You, your brothers, and your sister are the best things that ever happened to us. You look so much like Bella, but I see a lot of Preston and Julian in you too. I know those two are watching you from heaven.
Next week you’ll meet your sister in person. I can’t wait for that day. If you ever read this blog, you’ll know how often during your pregnancy I longed for that moment.
You have thousands of people loving on and praying for you. We know that these prayers sustain us in those hard moments – and each day brings each side of extreme emotions to deal with. Both your Daddy and I fully know how fragile life is, and yours is even more so right now.
We adore you. You have captured your father’s heart completely, I see him look at you with such love that I feel like my heart will burst. It’s in those moments where my entire soul begs God to spare your life, to let your Daddy have his little son to raise into a man like him. I ache that he has to go through any of this again, losing your brothers was so hard on him.
You are loved. You are prayed over. You have already changed our lives and we would do anything for you. As much as we know you are so strong and fighting, I hope one day I will be writing a birthday post for you while listening to you and Bella whine from the other room as I shake my head, Daddy attempts to figure out what’s wrong, and Charlie barks his little head off.
We love you more than you will ever, ever fathom. Keep fighting, my little son.
Daddy and Mama