Finding Our Love Language with God

Finding Our Love Language with God

October 29, 2013

Finding Our Love Language with GodI can’t be the only one who looks at all those gorgeous photos of other women’s quiet time in the mornings with God and a devotional and thinks, “Why can’t I keep that a part of my life on a daily basis? Why am I not more committed/organized/disciplined?”

Then I wonder if I simply don’t love God enough to get up at 6am and worship in the sunrise. Because I admire the women who do this. I feel a tug on my soul as I crash into bed that I, once again, didn’t do a devotion. Didn’t journal it.

I did, however, watch The Good Wife while exercising. So I did do that.

Here’s what I’ve had placed on my heart lately, and maybe it’ll help some of you that struggle with these feelings:

My time with my Lord is spent through my day. I’m finding that my relationship with God is just that – a relationship. Just like with my husband or child or friends, it needs cultivating. It takes time and effort on my part.

I have a different love language to God than some other women. Mine is a questioning, praying in the moment kind. A sort of desperate kind. A clinging to Him kind because I am not in another stage in my life right now. A sing in the car kind. I don’t base my relationship with Sam or Bella off what other women do – so why am I doing that with God? Am I trying to turn myself into a different woman he’s proud of? “Wow Diana, 6am? Aaaaand let’s get your name in the middle seat for Heaven, right by Job…” I can’t surprise or impress God, because He made me. He understands that 6am is not my deal.

He’s ok with that for me.

Some of our love languages are journaling. Carving out sacred time to worship alone. Writing in between the kids or work. Alone at a coffee shop, rocking out in the car, snuggling up to our children to read their Bible and pray. Cooking in the kitchen while talking to Him. Praying with our husbands at night.

Did you see yourself in there?

All of the ways we choose to worship our God are lovely to Him. As long as our hearts long to spend time with Him and seek Him out, I don’t think God keeps a scoreboard of who did what on what day. My secret obsession with KLOVE in the car (I don’t even know who I am) doesn’t please Him more than the woman who is pondering her devotion while driving the kids to the dentist. Yes, spending time in His Word is important, but don’t beat yourself up if it’s not a daily thing.

God doesn’t want forced love – or he wouldn’t have made free choice (let’s avoid the theology here). He wants us to love Him in ways we enjoy, and if reading the Bible cover to cover makes you want to stick a fork in your eye – then don’t. Even if your friend does, and she loves it. That is HER love language.

Let’s find how we adore spending time with God and choose to do it more and with greater awareness. Find your Love Language to Him.


  • Ann Schwalbach

    January 14, 2014 at 10:42 am

    I have both love languages, first thing in the AM and all the day through. The older one gets the better they get at it and having a deeper and sweeter agape love relationship with their Creator God and Heavenly Father. My journey truly started in my first marriage when it started going really bad and I knew I had to find God to save it. I did all I could to do just that but my husband was not willing. The more I loved Jesus and God, the less my ex-husband loved me and started loving other women. I stuck with him inspite of this and had a Hosea marriage always begging him to leave the other women alone and doing more to try to please him in every way possible. Sometimes against my own conscience for I was desperate to make our marriage work until death do us part. I found one cannot make anyone love them in that way if they are not willing. He left me three times before it was all over and came back twice but the third was the very end for he never returned. It takes two to make it work in any relationship and to know that God will never leave us or forsake us as others have, is so very special to this child of God's heart. PTL!

  • Tessica Trudell

    November 7, 2013 at 6:50 pm

    Thank you for this! I am always beating myself up for not having the sit down devotional time. It has been a struggle for years, and I don't like feeling guilty about it. Thanks for saying it's okay to spend time with God throughout the day and that it doesn't have to be this big planned out devotion.

  • Jacqueline

    November 5, 2013 at 12:02 am

    We can’t compartmentalise God. I used to resent the interruptions of parenting impacting my ‘God’ time and I learnt that my ‘God time’ was an attempt to tick all the boxes so I was good enough. I now believe that God’s grace IS enough and He delights in me whether its while driving in the car, wiping kids noses or folding laundry. I talk to Him all throughout the day, not just in an allotted time, and I’m so much better for it 🙂

  • Tiffany

    November 4, 2013 at 1:27 am

    Thank you for writing what SO many of us busy mamas are feeling! God is everywhere not just in a sit down 6am devotional. This has been on my heart lately as I am trying to simplify my life lately.

  • Sarah K

    October 30, 2013 at 7:41 pm

    I LOVE this. I feel so much the same way… Not good enough because I can’t drag myself out of bed to do a morning devotion. But like you, 6am is NOT my thing. 7am is barely my thing. Few people (including my husband) understand this. You’re right, though. My devotion later in the day, prayers, and journaling throughout the day are no less precious to Him than if I’d woken up with the sun. All He wants is my time – however much that is. THANK YOU for that reminder!

    1. Ann Schwalbach

      January 14, 2014 at 4:04 am

      One does not have to be a busy “mama” to have “time issues with God” as I am older now with all the children gone and have been for some years as I am 64 going on 65. Whether we are a morning or evening person, that is not what matters. What does matter is taking the prime time to be alone to sit at Jesus’ feet and learn of Him so it will give us what we need for that next days journey of life! There are so very many Bible promises in His word to sustain and maintain us that we need to memorize and carry wherever we go so we can also nurture others in their weaknesses or win others to Christ who are not there yet. I am a big morning person and love early mornings as I go to bed early by 8:30 or 9pm and am up by 4am and sometimes earlier if the Lord wakes me up and I pray first, even try to pray myself back to sleep for a while and if I do not go back to sleep, I hate to waste time so I am up at my desk in His Word learning all I can. I have hungered for His word for years now, since age 32 esp. and some before that. My love relationship with the Lord and my God just keeps on getting sweeter and sweeter as the days go by, as the old song says. PTL!

  • Nikki

    October 30, 2013 at 12:39 pm

    So many times I’ve read a devotion or scripture because I felt like I had to, and found that, in those times, I’m only reading words. Not the meaning. When I spend time with God, I want to feel that connection.

  • KerryRivera (@breadwinningmom)

    October 30, 2013 at 10:28 am

    I can relate to this post. I always feel like I should be doing more on the spiritual front, but I’m maxed out. Like you, I journal and pray in quiet moments before I shut my eyes at night. But waking up even one minute earlier to read the Bible just isn’t in the cards for me right now.

  • Heather

    October 30, 2013 at 9:27 am

    Thank you for sharing this. I struggle with this every day! That I’m not doing ENOUGH.

  • Leah Pratt

    October 30, 2013 at 9:07 am

    I so enjoyed meeting you at Influence, btw! I’m glad my sister has a friend like you out there in El Paso! And thanks for so honestly expressing this. My best (and favorite) times with the Lord are also in my car praying/singing to HIm on commutes.

  • Susan

    October 30, 2013 at 6:50 am

    You are a blessing to me. You have described exactly my feelings and what I have been struggling with lately. I have had this ‘quilt’ complex because I wasn’t doing what ‘others’ say they do and tried a ‘routine’. Thanks, I think I am on the right path.

  • Jenny Ibasan

    October 30, 2013 at 7:01 am

    so encouraging!! thanks!

  • s h e l i a (@sheliamaia)

    October 29, 2013 at 11:16 pm

    I love love love this post. Everything about it. I find so much more freedom in my relationship with Christ when I approach it in this way. Thank you for the reminder. 🙂

  • Sara

    October 29, 2013 at 11:08 pm

    Thank you! I call myself a baby Christian because I don’t know much about the word but I do love klove and I feel I work on my relationship all day long in the little things. I recently started a women’s small group Thursday nights. That’s a huge commitment for me. And I feel stressed trying to fit in the work each week! Where does the time go?

  • angelaserednicki

    October 29, 2013 at 9:10 pm

    I couldn’t agree more. Personally, I keep a Pinterest board of different Bible verses and just scroll through that when I feel like I need a little bit of prayer throughout my day. Since I’ve pinned them ( and it doesn’t hurt when the verses are designed in such a beautiful and tasteful day) they’ve resonated with me once, and I know they’ll touch me again when I need it most.

  • Tara

    October 29, 2013 at 7:58 pm

    so true. Love it! THanks!

  • Jessica

    October 29, 2013 at 7:30 pm

    This really, really touched me. What a wonderful post. I often feel guilty for not enjoying reading all of the Bible (some chapters are definitely more interesting than others) and this helped me a lot. My relationship with God is, like yours, constant. A constant conversation and talking with my husband and family about Him often. Bravo, Diana, bravo!

  • Marisa Toomey

    October 29, 2013 at 7:00 pm

    Thank you, thank you!! This has been on my heart for awhile now. 🙂

  • Dani

    October 29, 2013 at 6:40 pm

    Thank you Diana. I am starting to build a relationship with God and didn’t know how to start. I talk to Him constantly during the day and listen to worship music all day long but never really sat down and read His word because I don’t know where to start. I started with SRT and look up verses in my study bible and go from there. Happy and grateful I found SRT and your blog.

  • Gina

    October 29, 2013 at 3:40 pm

    So true. I do try to immerse myself in the Bible each day, but I was definitely convicted this weekend when our pastor told us that instead of us getting through it, we need to let it get through to us. Sometimes I barrel through the plan of the day to get it done and I don’t stop to think about it or even pray about it. There’s gotta be a balance.

  • Alesha

    October 29, 2013 at 2:10 pm

    Diana, I think you are an incredible godly woman with a beautiful heart and ministry. There was so much grace and good in this post that I appreciated, but here is my one hesitation. There HAS to be time for the Word of God. I know it won’t happen every day. But it must be happening as much as possible and we must continue to drive to give it tha place of first importance in our lives. Because our hearts are deceitfully wicked. That doesn’t change just cause we are saved. Our prayers and even what we think we hear from God can at times be tainted by our sin. So we must have the Word of God as the ultimate authority of truth to guide our fickle hearts. I respect you and hope you understand my heart in writing this is no condemnation, because that is not from God and I have struggled with that in this area many, many times. I just wanted to point out how essential God’s word is. Journal or not…short or long. His Word must be read and known by us. Thank you for you faithfulness on here. God bless.

  • Jen

    October 29, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    thank you for sharing – and I agree!

  • Rachell Hyde Henderson

    October 29, 2013 at 7:55 pm

    I so needed this very word today! Thank you so much for sharing!!

  • Laura

    October 29, 2013 at 1:31 pm

    I sooooo needed to read that! I’m struggling with feeling like I don’t pray “the right way” or read the bible enough or fellowship enough or…….any of a million things. I’m lucky to find the time to read a daily bible verse that is delivered to my phone each day, but the fact is that at least I WANT TO. I would love to have time to meditate for hours on everything, and maybe I will someday, but for today I have to fit it in by listening to the music I like and sneaking in little prayers when I can. Thank you for making me understand that God understands me and doesn’t mind that my brain is too scattered to meditate or pray in what I’ve always felt was the “Right way”.

    You’re a blessing!

  • Abi S.

    October 29, 2013 at 1:23 pm

    Thank you for this. You are so so right, it’s easy to get caught up in the ‘right’ way to make time for God, but thinking about it in terms of just doing what works for you IS what is right. For me it’s doing things for others/saying prayers/talking to God all day long that is my ‘right’. As always, you are blessed with a beautiful gift. Don’t stop writing.

  • Nannette and the Sweetheart

    October 29, 2013 at 12:38 pm

    I used to feel that way when My Three Sons were all at home and I was in the mothering stage of life. I WANTED to have that early morning devotion and prayer time…I tried, Lord knows I tried. I beat myself up more times than I can remember.

    Then I finally realized my life was just a crazy circus with three boys to raise an air traffic controller for a husband that worked third shift and wanted to go full time in the ministry. We were youth pastors to boot! Who was I kidding?!

    I finally found “my time” with Him…walking. And walk I did…three to four miles a day all by myself, good for the body and the soul! So whatever works for YOU! Today I HAVE the time to do the early devotion time, with the SRT gals 🙂 and then even more time for praise and worship, hey I work (edit) from home! Thanks Diana, this was great. ♥

  • Jen

    October 29, 2013 at 12:33 pm

    This is so great. I struggle with doing Christianity “right” too.

  • Emily

    October 29, 2013 at 11:58 am

    Good post, I love the idea of finding our love language with God. Trust me you are not alone! Cracking up about the good wife 🙂 I totally feel you!

  • Daina

    October 29, 2013 at 11:48 am

    Thank you so much for writing this today. I have been struggling with the same thing for quite a while. I really needed to read this today. Thank you. Praying for you always. <3

  • Molly

    October 29, 2013 at 11:32 am

    Thank you for this. Really. Thank you.

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