My Song

When Preston and Julian died, my email and messages were flooded with dear people who sent me songs to listen to. It was beautiful, music took on a whole new perspective for me. I ended up having Kelly Clarkson’s song What Doesn’t Kill You and Skillet’s Awake and Alive play over and over again. Those two really summed up a lot of my feelings at the time.

Losing Kaden sent the same emails with songs, and I struggled for a long time with not having one that was how I felt. Exactly. Completely. I listened to a lot of Christian music after Influence, and everything seemed to have to do with God’s grace because you’re a sinner. Except that wasn’t how I felt – I felt like I needed God to give me a break for a while.

Then one day this song came on. And it was mine from the moment I heard it. I’ve played it so often, I know every beat and pause. It truly sums up this entire journey for me. Even Sam, who isn’t a fan of Christian music, really liked it.

But my favorite part of the song (and video) starts around 3 minutes:

“My prayers are wearing thin
Yeah, I’m worn
Even before the day begins
Yeah, I’m worn
I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn
So, heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause all that’s dead inside will be reborn”

Hoping it touches some of your hearts today as well.


Comments

  1. Yes! I’ve cried through this song many times in the last year or so as I fight through this divorce and life-changes.

    Thank you for sharing!

  2. Yes, to all three of those songs. “Worn” has gotten me through my darkest minutes,hours,days and year. Big hugs!

  3. Diana, this was the song I listened to when I found out my mom had to have open heart surgery and leading up to that day. I was so worn during that period of time. It really helped me accept that it was okay to feel so down.

  4. Loved it. Thanks for sharing.

  5. I love this song, and I can see how you can feel it in your soul, so worn from loss. I hope that it will always bring you some small measure of comfort, for you are a hero among moms. Thank you for sharing it.

  6. Love being introduced to a new, amazing song- thank you for sharing! My favorite part is the bridge too :)

  7. Emily Schini Cotton says:

    So touching.

  8. Amazing!! First time hearing this song and I love it!! Gave me goosebumps and really touched me. Thank you!

  9. Amazing song — my husband loves this. He's dealt with PTSD after 2 deployments, and it really speaks to him as well. Continued prayers for you.

  10. Oh my, this song is prefect for me today! Thanks for posting.

  11. Erin Perry says:

    That was totally my song last year, for very different reasons. It resonated so loudly with me. I am glad that it was able to help you as well. Hugs!

  12. Danielle Fields says:

    Thank you for sharing this! I’ve been following you since you were pregnant with your twin boys and I absolutely love you. Although I didn’t lose 3 babies I did lose a baby girl almost 10 years ago and I constantly struggle with a broken heart. I have friends and even my own family who’s had or are having girls and they are so happy but there’s a part of me that gets angry. I’ll never get to do the things they are or will be doing with theirs. I feel robbed, at times, of the joy I’ll never have. I have 2 boys now, Leland 8 and Connor 17 months. Don’t get me wrong, I love them with every fiber of my being but they cannot replace the hole in my heart for my daughter. You talk about your struggles with God and I totally relate. I come from home where my dad was a pastor and we were raised in church. I asked God, why me? Did I not do as you asked? Did I not live how you wanted? You are truly an inspiration! (Sorry for the rambling.)

  13. LaDonna Akers Beckmeyer says:

    For about 6 months every time I got in the car it was on the radio. It speaks to my soul on a very deep level.

  14. My best friend and I parent kids that come from hard places. She and her husband have girls from Liberia, I have 3 kids from a family adoption through foster care. Parenting in and of itself can be hard. Parenting kids that are so broken can cause PTSD in parents and other family members. Anyway, this is the song my best friend says best describes what she feels, too. I think us Christians need to be more honest about how we're really feeling. That's why I love this song.

  15. Thank you for sharing this song! I also wanted to tell you about Britt Nicole’s song “Have your way” I think it was written about the loss of her dad but totally speaks to me as well. It is raw and beautiful. I hope you like it.

  16. LOVE this song. It’s so perfect. Music ministers to my soul in a way that not much else can. Thank you for sharing.

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