When Preston and Julian died, my email and messages were flooded with dear people who sent me songs to listen to. It was beautiful, music took on a whole new perspective for me. I ended up having Kelly Clarkson’s song What Doesn’t Kill You and Skillet’s Awake and Alive play over and over again. Those two really summed up a lot of my feelings at the time.
Losing Kaden sent the same emails with songs, and I struggled for a long time with not having one that was how I felt. Exactly. Completely. I listened to a lot of Christian music after Influence, and everything seemed to have to do with God’s grace because you’re a sinner. Except that wasn’t how I felt – I felt like I needed God to give me a break for a while.
Then one day this song came on. And it was mine from the moment I heard it. I’ve played it so often, I know every beat and pause. It truly sums up this entire journey for me. Even Sam, who isn’t a fan of Christian music, really liked it.
But my favorite part of the song (and video) starts around 3 minutes:
“My prayers are wearing thin
Yeah, I’m worn
Even before the day begins
Yeah, I’m worn
I’ve lost my will to fight
So, heaven come and flood my eyes
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause all that’s dead inside will be reborn”
Hoping it touches some of your hearts today as well.