I went to India 11 years ago this summer.
When I left, I was newly married and all of just-turned-20. The trip was to work at an orphanage and live with a family there for a month, while teaching the children about Jesus. I ended up stunned by what I experienced – the poverty and conditions and caste system.
I came back to the US shell shocked. It took a long time not to walk into a grocery store and be overwhelmed by choices. To see children playing and not picture the little servant girl who’s mother had shaved her head in thanks to her god. To erase the image of a blind woman holding a nearly dead baby in her arms as she patted and wailed on our car windows while we sat in traffic. The father of the family we stayed with refused to roll down the windows and help her, telling us it was just a ploy for money.
It’s been 11 years and still the tug to return, to do this again, to help in some small way remains.
When Noonday announced yesterday they’d be sending one addition person to Rwanda with their team, my heart instantly leaped and ached. I tried to explain why I wanted to go in 350 words, all the while wiping tears as I wondered if this – this might be the thing that pulled me out of my overwhelming “It’s all about me” grief and into a life again that was so, so far beyond me. This might be the start to the answer of my heart’s never ending, “What might come of all this?”
I want to go. I want to be a part of something bigger than me, bigger than the story that at times threatens to suffocate what I know God could use it for. It would be so easy to just fall into self pity and let loss consume me, but I can’t do that because I know that’s not what I went through this for.
I’m asking for your help in the first stage. Vote. Click the link, scroll down to me and my story, then click the blue VOTE button. Every day. Share it if you feel led. So many of you did yesterday – thank you. After May 28th the top 7 move to a panel who chose 3 and then the 1 going.
I don’t know if this is what God wants me to do – because many times I’ve thought, “This is it!” and look – it wasn’t. Maybe this won’t be, but I can’t pass it up. As much as I’d rather VERY MUCH not to do this publicly and have another thing fall through (believe me) I can’t not take this chance. Even if I end up not being picked, I will know in my heart that I followed a very strong tug that is always there for international need.
So here we go – let’s try to send me to Rwanda and break the cycle of poverty and hopelessness there with this amazing team.