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Morning Vague-Blogging

It’s 7am. I’m awake because I have a hard time falling back asleep when Sam leaves for work. So I’ve been up since 5am.

I don’t know whether to feel more sorry for myself or for him.

Ok. Him. ;)

Sleeping

Bella came in to snuggle as he left (she sleeps till like 9 lately – it’s insane), and I crept out to clean up the kitchen, make tea, and write. It’s lovely. I don’t know why I don’t do this more OH WAIT SLEEPING.

I’ve been quiet on here lately. There is a lot to say and yet a lot that can’t be said. I know. Vague-blogging. A place where this is supposed to be anything but. Isn’t a blog supposed to be open and uninhibited?

I went to see Mom’s Night Out a week or so ago with Emily, and loved it. Of course it starts with the main character convincing herself she is a mommy blogger, and at the end she just lets go and writes.

And I was jealous.

I was jealous of the freedom she has to do that and mine isn’t so much that way anymore. I pop up in searches, I have friends of friends of friends who read my blog without knowing we’re connected in any way.

“Oh, yeah Diana,” you might be (and have every right to be) thinking, “please, tell me how hard it is to be seen in searches and write from home. Gosh. Just dreadful.”

Working from Home

#sohard #thestruggle

 

It’s not like that. It’s actually quite a thrill to get a message telling me that my sister in law’s friend googled something and my blog popped up. But what I miss is the anonymity of blogging, because I could use that lately. Life has thrown us a few really awesomely great surprises and I wish I could pour my heart and soul out on here, with all of you reading, but I can’t. Because it might affect some of those surprises.

I don’t want to start a private blog because – gosh. I just don’t want to have another log in/place to keep up/etc.

So I’m writing in a journal. Handwritten y’all – which is something I haven’t done in forever. Maybe, like I wrote about, it’ll help me remember things. I need that. This stuff happening is part of my life needs to be documented in some way.

Hopefully soon it’ll be able to at least become a small part of online life.

Now that I have everyone either wondering or irritated, I’ll let you know that life here is good. Hot but good. I’m missing the friends that moved/are moving this weekend but we have a lot to get done this summer.

The first draft of my portion of the book is in. Waiting on edits. How exciting is that?!

Some of you have written to ask about what happened to Rwanda. We found out shortly after I submitted my name that Sam would be gone most of July, and so would my mom – who we wanted to come down and watch Bella. The amount of money extra care would have cost for Bella and the animals wasn’t feasible for us right now. So I let Noonday know, I think they left my entry up at the time, but on my end I just stopped plugging it after that.

Tattoos and Writing

On Saturday Laura and I are off to get tattooed. If you count the boys footprints as two, this will be my fourth. O_o I used to be terrified of needles. This one will be for Kaden, and it’s being drawn up by someone really special – I’ll blog on it when it’s done!

Huggies Clutch 'n' Clean


Comments

  1. Best wishes and prayers on this part of your journey in life. I imagine living life out loud online has its many benefits but also some drawbacks. Maybe this bit of just for you moments and life happenings is a blessing. Journaling is good for the soul I think.

  2. Eager to know all you want to share, but totally get why you have to wait. You're amazing. Don't forget it.

  3. Completely understand what you are saying. I think you are incredibly brave to spill your heart and soul out here in front of the world anyway, so I get why some things need to be private for a while. I'm hoping for all the best for you and your family.

  4. thinking of you always. vagueness and all – I love you.
    hugs and prayers, mama.

  5. Congratulations on the book draft! That’s a huge deal! And very smart thinking on the journal. Remember Annie Downs? Journal, blog, or book? You’re writing for your season, as you should. Many hugs.

  6. I can’t wait to see your tattoo! I had thought about sketching something for you, but then I noticed an illustrator offered…I’m excited to see what she designed for you! I’m so glad that things are good for you. Remember that your blogger friends love to read you, whether its vague or straight forward. :-)

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