Sam came in and so did the nurses. I had a birth plan and a note to everyone explaining ciHHV-6 in short terms, but it wasn’t needed. Sam took charge of everything, and what we weren’t able to tell them we wanted because of how fast it all went, the hospital staff automatically did anyway.
I was at 4cm already, so they decided to just start me on a low dose of pictocin. That was at 4:30. I didn’t get the pictocin until 6:15 because I wasn’t in active labor and no one was in a hurry. So I just talked and snuck food (I know, I know, but I was so afraid I’d get sick and not be able to stop throwing up if I didn’t) and we texted people to let them know what was going on. Sam settled in for (what we thought would be) a long night, and we flipped on the TV to Star Trek for him.
You guys. Star Trek was playing when she was born. I remember seeing it and pushing while thinking, “Can’t someone turn that off? Aren’t I supposed to have music and a diffuser full of oils – instead I’ve got Klingons.”
At 6:15pm I was given pictocin. For about the first hour, not much happened except the contractions became more regular. I remember the nurse telling me if they didn’t pick up soon, she’d up the dose a bit. Then suddenly, maybe around 7:45, they became more painful. And more. And so painful I couldn’t breathe and barely talk. Sam stood by the bed and patiently coached me through breathing and focusing. I asked my nurse how long she thought I’d still have since they were so awful now, and she shook her head and said, “Hours – probably not until tomorrow morning. Pictocin makes your body have end of labor contractions faster than regular labor.”
15 minutes later I was bawling. I had no idea how on earth I’d get through hours on end of these when I felt like every one was going to kill me. Literally rip me in half. Sam told me to remember to breathe and I screamed, “SHUT UP SHUT UP OH I CAN’T DO THIS.” I hadn’t been checked since I’d been admitted, but since it had just been 3 hours or so, the nurse said I was probably a 6 at the most and they’d check in a little while.
I finally gasped out that I had to have an epidural. I simply couldn’t do any more. I was already beyond exhausted and the pain was unbearable. Sam asked, “If I was Emily (my doula with Kaden) would you be able to get through this? Because I feel like I should help you more like she did, you didn’t have one with Kaden either..” and I told him I just couldn’t fathom doing this all night. Maybe another hour. Not hours on end. He looked so worried and told the nurses to hurry. I signed the paper through my own screams, reading the words “paralysis” and “migraines” and thought, “I don’t care, OMG I DON’T CARE GIVE ME AN EPIDURAL MAKE IT STOP.”
That was around 8. At 8:15 (as I wondered if perhaps the anesthesiologist had a death wish) I heard Sam say, “Just so you all know, when she has babies it happens fast. Like, she’s this way and then she has to push and that’s it.” The nurse nodded briefly and said she thought I still probably had a while, and to try to breathe. I’d get an epidural soon, they had other patients before me.
I began to hyperventilate and turn sideways to grab the rails on the bed while I screamed and tried to keep breathing. The nurse finally seemed to understand something besides me not liking contractions was going on, tried to put an oxygen mask on me, and called for the Dr. – over and over because at that moment, their radios didn’t work. So she called, I screamed, Sam repeated that this was going to happen soon while telling me I was doing great – and I said through gritted teeth to the nurse, “I need to puuuuuuush.”
Her eyes were huge, and at that moment the Dr rushed in and started to gown up. I managed to gasp out, “Will you put her on me as soon as she’s born?” “Of course,” she assured me. “Let me check you really quick…” and at that moment my water broke, and I gave one hard push, and there she was. The little surprise we’d prayed over and cried many tears in excitement and fear for. Charlotte Anne.
I’ll finish up the rest of this and when Bella met her when Charlotte decides that napping is something that most people find delightful. 😉