Last year I didn’t really do any resolutions. I had a few things I hoped to do; some I did, some I didn’t.
- We traveled more.
- I found myself taking more time just to be with the girls and Sam in the moment.
- I didn’t write my book.
- And I didn’t really find my writing voice at all. In fact, if anything, I seem to have gone backwards in that aspect. I think about that a lot and I’m not sure why the last year has been so – wordless for me.
I’ve pondered about what to do with this space of mine, along with the social media that comes with it. At times it seems like a waste to have a platform to write and not use it. But I think it’s something I often have struggled with over the years, so I keep writing here and there hoping that I’ll find that voice again. That drive to come on here, and other spaces, and share my thoughts and feelings. Because mentally and emotionally, not writing really does affect me.
This next year I have a quote instead of a word:
I’m hoping that this will serve as a reminder to me that in the mundane, the small details of life, the moments where I think, “Dear Lord this is never going to end and HOW IS THERE SPAGHETTI SAUCE ON THE DOORKNOB?” there is a responsibility to do them well and with love (while still being human and knowing at times I’m just going to be a cranky mess). I can get sidetracked with wanting to do something BIG RIGHT NOW and often over the past 4 years I’ve had big things happen that leave me searching for that next fix.
It also applies to my spiritual life. This year has been one of quiet searching and reflection for me on my own faith. I haven’t said or written a lot about God or where I stand because sometimes I’m simply not sure. I’ve written before that I often feel left out of the online (and often in person) faith community. This year has begun to show me that some of that is my own insecurities and perceptions too. I tend to draw away because I don’t know what is my version of “real” when it comes to faith online. The balance between – for example – me posting a picture each devotional to connect with others – and often realizing that all I did was take the picture and get interrupted so I never actually did it – and not posting at all because I feel weird doing that, is a hard one for me. I often go to the “not post at all” part.
On another note, I want to make some healthy changes around our meals and getting out of the house for walks (we have three parks in walking distance so that’s already started). I’d love to learn how to bake. Anything.
You know what though? Great over ice cream. So there’s that. 😉
I hope we can travel more – and not just vacation travel (which really with our age kids ended up more of a survival trip than a vacation lol) but traveling to places we can learn about.
And one of my personal goals is to be brave enough to write on here the events that happened that ended up taking our lives in this new, retired veteran status we’re navigating. The conference we went to in Orlando that was for disabled veterans and their families really, really helped me to start to work on how to write that all out. It was incredibly affirming to go and realize that, although our life is so different still/right now, there are many other military families out there living and thriving in similar ones.
So those are my New Year thoughts. Hope yours is wonderful and thank you for being here through 2016.