Irrational Fears

September 28, 2017

When Sam is gone, one of the more irrational fears that plagues me every time is something happening with the cars. I have no idea how this worry is so important in my mind, but it is. I’ve stressed more about it than most other than you’d think would be top of the “irrational” list.

I say irrational because – well – I mean to me it’s a real worry, but even I know that it’s simply a car, we have two, things can get fixed and taken care of. I’ve survived way worse than a car needing work. But it’s still there.

So the day we left to take him to the treatment center, we found out the car had a flat tire. A BOLT had gotten stuck in it. Seriously. Sam didn’t even know how I made it home. He spent part of his morning switching off the old tire and putting on the spare, while inside I dealt with the thought of, “Oh, oh no, you know what this means Diana right?? It means YOU HAVE TO GET THE TIRE FIXED.”

Every.single.part of that makes me anxious. Finding a store. Calling. Trying to schedule an appointment. Making sure it’s between school hours but doesn’t run so late I can’t get Bella. Wondering what to do with Charlotte if the appointment goes to long and she melts down. What if other people in there get mad that she’s a tired mess? What if they charge me for things that don’t need to be fixed? What if they tell me we need all new tires? What if I go in and it’s not the right place?

WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF until I want to neatly cut the top of my head off, take out my brain, place it on a table and just go live my life without the anxiety that follows me everywhere.


So I put it off as long as I could until Tuesday I sat down and googled tire places. Thankfully Discount Tire lets you schedule an appointment online (wheeeee introverts dream) and so I made it for the next day at 9:30, time to get Bella to school and head over there with Char. I packed snacks and toys, reminded myself that I could always casually toss in, “that time Bridgestone flew me to Austin for their event and I drove in a racecar” if I felt really dumb around the tire peopleΒ πŸ˜‚, and the next morning we got into the car to go.

And the car dashboard was covered in water.

I sat there for a moment, not understanding what had happened, and looking up I realized that (because it was pouring right then) the water was leaking in from the top of the windshield. It stopped once the rain did, so I slowly drove Bella to school on a spare tire in semi-flooding weather and slowly drove to the tire place. I wasn’t sure what to do about it, but Sam said he’d try to figure it out once he got the car.

At the place, they took a look at the tire and said they weren’t sure it could be fixed, because the hole was so large. Go big or go home right? πŸ’πŸ» Then they explained that three of my tires were going to need replaced in the next year or so because of wear, but the one they were going to try to repair was actually in good shape.

Because we’d had to replace it last year when a nail blew it out and was in a place that it couldn’t be repaired. πŸ™ƒ bwahahahahaha

So Char and I waited for them to let us know what was going to happen. I tried not to think of how when we’d bought the car, it came with great tires so to match them, it was super expensive.

Char played for a while and then ran back and forth, and suddenly my name was called . Bracing myself for the worst, I went to where the car was parked and the employee explained that they had been able to patch it. Relief. Sweet relief. He handed me the keys and I let him know I hadn’t paid yet, and then he said, “Oh, this one’s on us today. No worries.”

I stood there with Char on my hip and stared at him, saying slowly, “What?” He nodded and smiled. I took the keys while thanking him over and over, letting him know what a blessing it was for them to do that. He reminded me to check the tires again in a year or so, but no need to replace now.

Once I drive home and talked about this day on Instagram, one of you messaged me info with finding out if our windshield (that we’d also just had replaced last year) was still under warranty. I called, it was, so they sent someone this morning to check it. Sure enough, although we’d all thought perhaps it was the seal on the sunroof, it actually was the glue seal. It had separated in the heat just enough to let water collect and then pour inside the car when it rained. They fixed it in a half hour and that was that.

So now, here I sit. Taking a few minutes to write and relax before I get back to studying and writing up a paper on Oppositional Defiant Disorder. It’s been a crazy week so far (and this weekend we leave to go see Sam and meet my sister and niece halfway so they can come stay with us!) but we’re doing it. Almost 2 weeks down – not sure how many more to go. And I survived having multiple things happen to the car while Sam is gone. πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ™ŒπŸΌ


  • Flats & Fears & Fun Things That Happen |

    November 20, 2017 at 5:33 pm

    […] you’ve read my blog for the past month or so, you know I have this irrational fear of something happening with our car tires while Sam is […]

  • striddysmama

    October 1, 2017 at 9:45 am

    Oh, I’m the same way, Diana. I HATE calling to make appointments and then going to them! Car-related stuff is a nightmare for me as i know nothing about it. ((hugs)). you’re not alone. You did awesome!!!

  • Stephanie

    September 28, 2017 at 2:32 pm

    It sounds like this is turning out to be an amazing growing experience for all of you. What a blessing!

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