• Missing the Life I Never Had

    August 9, 2012

    It’s an odd feeling to miss something you never had. To wonder about how life would have been and long for it so much. There are times the enorminty of what I lost hits me and it feels like the first time all over again. One of the hardest parts for me has been the…

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  • Is Bella Your Only Child?

    July 30, 2012

    I wondered when I would be asked this question. And I’ve always wondered how I would answer. It’s easy to say it on here. “I have 3 children. One here, two in heaven.” But to a stranger? A person you don’t know? Out loud? How do you say that without making everyone in the room…

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  • Postpartum Anxiety/Depression after the Loss of a Baby

    July 26, 2012

    I didn’t know this could happen. I had no idea that you could experience postpartum anxiety or postpartum depression after the loss of a baby or a miscarriage. I mean, it makes sense. I think I just figured it happened from lack of sleep, nursing, hormones, etc. If you lost a child, you grieved. You…

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  • Was It Worth It?

    July 21, 2012

    The other day I was sent a picture of myself walking hand in hand with Bella. We were back east – almost a year ago. We were visiting Kim and she’d taken us to the park with her kids, and behind us snapped a photo. And as I stared at it, I wished with all…

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