• I Don’t Think I Ever Told You…

    June 12, 2012

    Sam was the one who decided not to induce first. He laid his head on my stomach as we cried over what the doctors had told us, as they prepared the kit, and he looked up at me and said, “I feel them moving.” He shook his head and said, “We can’t do this –…

  • One of Those Moments

    June 5, 2012

    Lately I’ve thought almost everyday about the post I wrote “When God Says No,” because it’s hard to comprehend why we were told no in having Preston and Julian here. There are many times in the day I struggle to understand why His plan is the right one. And I don’t like it. And I…

  • 24 weeks and 1 month

    June 3, 2012

    Today is one month. One month since Julian and Preston were born and died. Today would have also been 24 weeks in my pregnancy. Viability. So really, today is a rough day in so many ways. All kinds of emotions and thoughts, what if’s and could have’s. 

  • Within Grief There is Life.

    May 31, 2012

    Yesterday I stood in a store picking out a dress for my brothers wedding with my sister who is here visiting. I browsed through happy spring and summer colors, pondered what shoes might go with them. We talked about what color Bella would need for her’s as the flower girl. And in the midst of…

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