• On Birthdays & Birth Days

    July 19, 2015

    I’ve been in a terrible mood lately. I can’t place my finger exactly on what it is. Maybe a little of everything. I think it has to do with my birthday and Kaden’s birthday coming up. I never dreaded my birthday until last year, and then I just wanted it to be over. I turned…

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  • Sometimes

    May 20, 2015

    There are some days lately – as I start to become less sick, less tired, a little more hopeful – that I look at all we’ve gone through in the past three years and all we are both facing and looking forward to in the upcoming months… And I feel happy again. Little bits. Tiny…

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  • I’m Tired.

    May 5, 2015

    It’s 2:00. I’m alone in a cafe, having spent the past two hours in a intense therapy session. I took an additional two hours after with Bella at her hourly care so I can work. It’s my last week of my current term of school. Lots to do there. I haven’t written here in a…

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  • Numb

    October 15, 2014

    Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. Before October 2012, I’d never heard about it – or if I did I didn’t care much. It wasn’t a day I wanted to acknowledge because it had to do with being sad and dead babies and – just no. Here I am now. The first year…

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