Bloody Baby Massacre by Guest Blogger LCW
My last guest blogger this week is LCW from Waking Up Williams. We met on Twitter, I am @lifeasaSAHM, she is @Lins610. We agreed that we were sisters separated at birth because our lives are so similar. Our husbands, apparently, were also separated at birth. I love her sense of humor, her adoration for cloth diapers and being green. I am absolutely thrilled that she agreed to guest blog for me.
However, when she sent me her blog post and mentioned, “I didn’t include pics of the bloody baby massacre, I’ll leave it up to the readers imagination,” I was a bit freaked out. I thought perhaps when I had said, “You can blog about whatever you want,” I should have been specific on “but not baby killing.” Trusting in the fact that we are e-twins, I opened it and laughed my head off. (Seriously, but I didn’t include pics. Use your imagination.) Please settle in for a treat and enjoy:
I don’t know how I stumbled into the world of lifeasaSAHM, but I think we were twins separated at birth. I started reading Hormonal Imbalances and thought to myself, “this girl is frighteningly A LOT like me”….I think I’ll be creepy and tell her that, and guess what?! She agreed and we are now e-friends living parallel lives. We are former teachers, raising sweet little baby girls who’s bums are happily sporting the latest cloth diapers and try to raise our family in a green way. Are you thinking what I’m thinking…yeah, we’re practically the same person, even down to the part where we both work or worked as nanny’s.
And despite my creepy stalker-ish comments trying to find out how similar we really are, she invited me to guest blog…so I guess I’m not too creepy after all. Enjoy and if you like what you read, come visit us at Waking Up Williams.
Here’s a glimpse into one day into my life as a nanny and mom. It was a Monday, and my two little playmates were kicking around enjoying their 6 month old existence with Lamaze toys and My Pals’ Scout and Violet. I was asked to clip the little guy’s finger nails, because his mom forgets and she likes my finger nail clipping skills. So after a fun morning of playing I go ahead and clip his nails, he had settled down a bit and wasn’t so fidgety, perfect! I clip them in record time and his skin is unscathed. We return to the floor for rolling and sitting and I notice a dab of blood on the blanket. I quickly sit him up and notice his pinky is bleeding a little. Oh Em Gee, I cut his skin….but it had been almost 30 minutes since I cut his nails, I wasn’t quite sure how it happened. I hold his hand until the blood dries up and we continue playing. No harm!
Both babies start their usual fussing, yawning, eye rubbing ritual and I put Ryann down in her room for a nap and bring the little guy to his room. I change his diaper, turn on his Safari music/light crack machine and wish him happy sleep and walk away. He starts to fuss a little, but the parents have requested I let him cry/fuss it out (he’s not my baby; please don’t send hate mail). I turn on the video monitor to watch him and within a few short minutes he’s snoozing.
I heat up lunch and settle down to some trashy TV. And then I hear a scream that bellowed from the devil himself. WTF! I switch back to the video monitor and see a wailing baby, flailing his little body around. I head to little guys room, turn on the soft light and damn near fell over when I looked into his crib. It was a bloody baby massacre in there! Not only had the pinky finger that mysteriously got snipped opened up, HE BIT HIS INDEX FINGER WITH HIS TINY, SHARP BABY TOOTH. I scoop him up and console him, blood being wiped all over himself, me, his face….seriously it looked like something out of a SAW movie. All I could think was, I broke their baby!
I grab a burp cloth to help stop the bleeding and ssshhh him and talk to him and settle him down. Phew, he’s caught his breath and shoots me a smile. We’re good, we’re happy, we’re bloody…but that can be fixed. I clean him up as best I can and proceed to feed him a little bit. We settle down in the glider and I start to feed him in order to get him back to bed. I took my chances and put him back in his crib drowsy but awake and he settles down. I barely make it back to the family room to check on him on the video monitor and he’s wailing again.
I return to blood all over the rails of the crib and all over his blue sleeper. I called his mom to tell him of my nanny fail and she reassured me that it happens and to put socks on his hands. SOCKS…why hadn’t I thought of that?! So back to the newborn days, I wrap his hands in socks and forego the second nap. He jumped happily in his jumperoo, we walked around the neighborhood and returned to the house for a little time on the floor before attempting another nap.
At this point he’s been up for 4 hours and beyond tired, I take my chance and put him down. He shot me a smile rolled on his side fell fast asleep. I learned that socks are useful for covering up little bloody hands too small for bandaids, baby wipes get blood out of Etsy designed crib bumpers, Shout stain remover is my friend and naps are precious.