I’d never make it in Sex and the City.

July 9, 2010

I’m not a typical girl. I never have been. At 13 when all my friends were crazy about Jonathan Taylor Thomas – I liked to be in my pigeon coop watching the baby birds hatch. When they were trying on makeup and bras, I was hiding the fact I had to have a bra and playing in the backyard creek with my brother and sister. When everyone was getting their first kiss, I was just figuring out that my high water pants weren’t cool.

This didn’t bother me for the longest time. Until my first boyfriend, and all the drama and heartbreak that came with that.

But even now, I’m not savvy and stylish. I don’t have expensive purses, nor can I fathom spending hundreds of dollars on one. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, I’d just rather spend the money on other things.

I own about 5 pairs of shoes. 3 are sandals, one pair of sneakers, 1 dress pair. All are over a year old. ::somewhere Carrie goes into a coma::

I go clothes shopping and like the “thought” of it, but in actuality it gives me a headache from having to think about sizes and trying them all on. I sometimes just buy stuff in a larger size and wash it on hot when I get home to avoid irritation of the dressing rooms.

I don’t enjoy Victoria’s Secret, because to me, the secret is she charges $45 dollars for an amount of material I floss my teeth with.

I don’t own anything “designer” – like Marc Jacobs or Tiffany. Their stuff is awesome – yet, I would break a heel in his shoes in an hour, and the earrings would be eaten by a kitty. Gucci? ::snorts:: Oh honey, can it be washed with 27 other items of various colors and textures on a normal cycle and then dry on medium high so I can get more loads done quicker?

I don’t get my nails done, or pedicures, color my hair, schedule massages, tan, work out at a gym, or whiten my teeth.

Part of me does care about this lack of “maintainance” at times. When I go out with friends who are style conscious, I feel really dowdy and hillbilly-ish. Out of place and stupid – like I just fell off the back of a turnip truck.

But at home, and with my family, I feel pretty content in a pair of my very loved jeans, with a top from Anne Taylor Loft (the one store I could spend every penny in). 

I do love to buy nice things, but when I do, I never quite fit in. I’m always the mom with the expensive bibs and toys for her kid who wears sneakers, buys sunglasses from Target and cuts her own hair. (My hairstylist hates me for that. I think I do a pretty good trim.)

I don’t really know where I belong in the world of women. I’m stuck between hearing about how someone is “so classy” and knowing they spend a fortune to look like that – and wanting to emulate it without dropping the cash. Or giving in to that ideal of classy.

I always wanted to be a rebel, to be different. Sometimes it comes at the cost of my self esteem. I don’t think that’s ok for me to feel like that. Yet I refuse to spend the fortune I know it takes to look like Samantha or Charlotte. And I shouldn’t have to in order to feel less frumpy.

And? I know this is all part of the marketing and advertising we are subjected to as women. But, obviously, it works. Because even though I know that, I can’t shake the feeling of insecurity.

Quandary.

13 Comments

  • Law Momma

    July 11, 2010 at 7:47 am

    I so agree. I consider clothes from Ann Taylor Loft a “splurge.” I love the look of expensive clothes and all that but I can’t afford it and certainly wouldn’t take care of it if I had it. I’m not allowed to even be responsible for our video camera because I keep losing it!!! Plus, I think half the stuff Carrie wears on SITC is trashy and I wouldn’t wear it for a million bucks.

  • Melodramamma

    July 10, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    Love this post. Love you. You’re a leader. It’s evident in the way you live your life, who you are, your blog.

  • Tess @ Six Feet Under Blog

    July 10, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    I can totally relate!

  • angela

    July 9, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    I am a girly-girl stuck in frumpy mom mode, trying desperately to claw out of it with $3, a roll of dental floss, and four popsicle sticks – the McGuyver of fashion. It’s so tough, because I know there’s a balance between uber-fashion & what-I-look-like-now fashion, but I can’t find it anywhere.

    p.s. I buy lots at AT Loft, too.

  • Anne @ A JD + Three

    July 9, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    Yeah, I am a coach, bvlgari, tahari & marc jocobs additct. Although, I look more and more like none of the above these days and that is a-okay too 🙂

    1. Diana

      July 9, 2010 at 8:26 pm

      You’re post on this type of stuff made me write this one. I’ve thought about it for a long time. Your posts have a tendency to do that to me – make me think. 🙂

  • metta1313

    July 9, 2010 at 11:04 am

    I’m the same way! Thank goodness that’s what the hubs loves about me!

  • Jen

    July 9, 2010 at 10:54 am

    So I am not a little different I am REALLY different and you know what I love it. I am different from what I wear, (remember in high school my star wars tee shirts, with shorts and golfing socks pulled up to my knees with tennis shoes.)to how I think. Most people thought in high school I did or didnt do things because I was a prude, or religious, or who really knows what else. Then you get to know me and you find out that I live my life the way I want to! I didnt have sex in high school, not because I was scared, or a prude, or even because I (on occasion) went to church. Nope I didnt… for the same reason I didnt go to parties and get wasted, or drink with all my friends, or follow the crowd. I did it or didnt do it because thats me. Its how I have been for as long as I can remember, I never have wanted to be popular, or do things because it was cool, or in, or hip. I did them and still do because I want to. Or in some cases dont want to. I am not high maintenance, I HATE shopping of every kind, and that wont change. Sure now I dress a little better, and I still get my hair done, (though not as much because lets face it the work to keep it up is a pain and expensive) I have fallen in love with massages. but I am still me and I would never change that for ANYONE! I love that about myself and its one thing I WILL NEVER CHANGE. Anyway sorry about the book, this is just something I feel very strongly about. 🙂

    1. Diana

      July 9, 2010 at 8:25 pm

      I remember thinking how cool you were in high school because I knew you didn’t care – you had that sense about you of complete confidence that I really lacked.

      And I love you. 🙂

  • Kim

    July 9, 2010 at 8:55 am

    T.J Maxx. EBay. Overstock.com 🙂 and then you go out w/ baby puke on you anyway so, hey, we’re moms! I think you look great, Sam does and so does Bella. You rock, girl!

  • Jess@Straight Talk

    July 9, 2010 at 8:31 am

    It’s all about being yourselves. I think the idea of having to have all the latest and be the most fashionable is a trap that gets a lot of young people into trouble–i.e. debt. And to one extreme, crime! Good example, those stupid kids that broke into all the famous people’s homes to just steal their stuff. Not tvs, not electronics: shirts, shoes, jewelry.

    It’s all about having your own values and knowing what you like and want. I LIKE to get my toes done. I LIKE to get my hair done. I LOVE my Coach purses. But you know what? I also love my Target purse I got 5 years ago. I also don’t mind going a couple months between cuts. I don’t mind painting my own. I don’t want my daughter thinking she HAS to have the next big thing (all her clothes come from Target/Walmart/Carters etc).

    I guess that’s where my job gets harder…

  • Jen

    July 9, 2010 at 7:55 am

    You’re not the only one who feels this way…trust me. On the extremely rare occasion that I do go buy something for myself, I usually end up returning it within a few days because I feel like I’m too much of a frump mom to wear cute clothes anymore. My kids are styling out like crazy, and I look like a hot mess 99% of the time. When I go out with friends (again, extremely rare occasion), I always feel fat and frumpy, and worry about how they must think of how terrible I look compared to them. Ahhhhh….the joys of muffin tops and frazzled hair.

  • Alyssa

    July 9, 2010 at 7:24 am

    I could have written this exact post.

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