it isn’t always forever. Sometimes you just have to get away from each other for a while.
If you follow me on Twitter, you know that last night I tweeted about leaving Sam and going to my parents with Bella at like 11pm.
Because I know how to keep it classy like nobody’s business.
It all fell apart after a great trip to the place we’re going to live. After finding out that pretty much everyone in the community is AP (attachment parenting), eco friendly, and we live in a very SAHM area, Sam and I were in 7th heaven.
We found the perfect apartment (no on the house – we can’t and even if we could, we might move in another year), signed a lease, died over how quiet and kid friendly our new neighborhood is, and then left for home. We talked of no more lawn maintenance, no more repair on things, a pool, a gym, a flippin’ movie theater (I know, this place is amazing).
But, our current housing situation kept looming over us. How were we going to pay rent and a mortgage until the house sold? It’s been on the market for 3 1/2 months now – how long can we try to swing both payments for? We both got more edgy as time passed in the car.
Then when we got home, Sam went to get Bella’s reflux meds for the next month. $200. We got a notice of a bill due to the Dr, and another from Children’s Hospital with more on the way. I realized we have a deposit, rent, and mortgage all due on the first of next month.
It was too much.
We started bickering, then arguing about the stupidest things possible. “The Dr. recommended soy and we don’t feed Bella soy, but you didn’t say anything to him so does that mean you think we should?” I mean, lame-o things that had no point in being discussed.
So then it got to the point where both of us were so worked up, stressed out, and not communicating in any way except yelling, pointing fingers, and interrupting, I finally left. I woke up Bella, got in the car, and drove off.
I went to my parents and spent the night. They were gracious enough to listen to me sob for an hour about the financial mess we can’t get out of. It’s like every time we turn around – it’s another bill.
I know part of it is just life, but it seems like we can’t ever get ahead.
Sam called me about an hour after I left, and we started really talking about life together. How much we loved each other, how a mortgage wasn’t worth sacrificing our marriage over, how Bella needed better than us fighting about a place we’re not even going to be living in 3 weeks from now.
We agreed to focus on the future together, not the past. When we move, we do the best we can until we simply…can’t. Then we’ll go from there. We made a promise not to drag the mess that is this place into our new home – somewhere we are both excited to live and begin a new life.
On a fun note, we have a darling 2 bed, 2 bath – 10 square feet less than our current home – waiting for us. It’s in a quiet area with a gorgeous mountain view, a perfect neighborhood for a young family.
Farmer’s markets, small locally owned shops, yoga, big parks, museums, the zoo – all within walking distance or just a few minutes of us. We can stay with one car because Sam is so close to work (and I actually will get the car during the day!). Our rent is less than our mortgage, our bills are less – just moving saves us $600+ a month. Yeah – crazy.
I’ll be working part time taking 1-2 kids a few days a week that are close to Bella’s age. Surprisingly, I’m actually really excited about this, as she’s beginning to show a huge interest in other kids and socializing. I can set my own hours, days, and holidays – and I’ll make enough for us to live comfortably while paying off student loans. I’m pumped to have a paycheck again while being with my baby all day long.
Also? Thanks for all the Twitter love. You guys are so sweet – it blew my mind to log on an hour after tweeting about leaving and have like 78 people send their concern and love. <3