Taking yourself with you.

August 2, 2010

Moving is exciting – not the process so much as the promise it holds.

I’ve moved a lot and seen many people move closer and further. It seems to me like there is one common theme in all the moving mess – you believe things will be different, no, that you will be different once you get there.

I start dreaming of the new me. Since there is more to do in the city, I will obviously do more. Be more involved. Get out more.

I see myself happily working out in the community gym. Taking Bella to classes. Going to yoga. Meeting other moms with ease.

Nevermind that I didn’t do much of that here. I’ve convinced myself that a change of scenery will make all the difference.

So I stop and think. Really? Will I walk through the door of my apartment and transform? I’ll become an outgoing person who likes to exercise?

::snort::

Probably not. I’ve realized that when you move, you take yourself with you. All of it. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Now, sure, we all make changes after a move. But a lot of the time they are temporary ones fueled by the thrill of a new place. I’ve seen relatives move with giant hopes and dreams of a new life, a fresh start, only to eventually fall back into their old days and wonder what went wrong. Comfort zone. It’s uncomfortable to be someone new for very long.

So as I think of this, I wonder what I can do to make sure that a lot of the goals I set for our new life happen, and become a part of me – of us.

This time will be different because there is a loss, sadness, and a determination not to repeat mistakes driving our changes.

– Being on track financially. Sam and I are going to a financial planner to set goals and get things back on track. This house is a huge wake-up call to us about planning wisely with our money.

– Making friends. The loneliness of these past 3 years with the sudden friendship of Mandy is bittersweet. A reminder that hesitating or waiting often means you missed something wonderful, that could have been a part of your life for a long time already.

– Getting involved in the community. Sam and I both agree on this – we want to make this new place our home. Will we move again? Maybe. But we really want to make it somewhere we know all about; from farmers markets to museums. We’re already buying passes and making plans.

– Living simply. One car for as long as we can. Not getting cable or a home phone again.Finding local places to shop. Saving our money. Focusing on what’s important and not what we can buy to “look rich.” (Who cares anyway, you know?)

– Finding a church. For us, especially me being a pastors kid (yep, betcha didn’t know that one) finding a church is like choosing an extended family. We want one that is commited to teaching the Bible, helping us with our marriage, and in raising our daughter in a Christian home. We have several already we are going to check out.

Those are the main goals we have, and the plans we have to make them a reality. I hope we stick to them. Maybe two is better than one in that effort.

I don’t want to bring myself along as baggage, a reminder of what I’m not brave or strong enough to do. I want to step out of my comfort zone and be the person, wife, and mom I think about and hope to become.

10 Comments

  • Not There Yet

    August 8, 2010 at 10:47 am

    I know exactly what you mean! However, I am making a point of doing all those things that I hope to do. Working out, eating locally, etc. It has been really fun and exciting – and makes me a happier person as well.

  • JDaniel4’s Mom

    August 7, 2010 at 4:03 am

    This post has been selected as one of my great posts of the week. Her is the list to my post: http://www.jdaniel4smom.com/2010/08/great-posts-i-came-across-this-week.html.

  • JDaniel4’s Mom

    August 4, 2010 at 11:21 am

    I love this post. I think many people think things will be different if where I live is different. Your goals are fabulous.

  • Janelle

    August 3, 2010 at 2:49 pm

    If moving doesn’t give you a chance to step back, re-evaluate, and re-assess, then I don’t know what does! I think you have great goals, and no, you may not turn into the person who loves the gym, but you may find a passion for something else just by getting involved in the activities you list. Rather than thinking you’ll settle back into your “old” comfort zone, create a “new” one – one that includes being involved, be it in a church, your community, or a mom’s group. I’m excited for you!

  • Sara

    August 3, 2010 at 8:42 am

    I love this idea of taking yourself with you… it’s frustrating to feel like you can just start over and wipe out all the bad habits only to have them creep back up on you. I’ve been there! 🙂 But – as you said – you take it all, the good and bad, with you, so let this change of pace motivate you! Sounds like you’ve got a great plan… good luck!

    1. Sara

      August 3, 2010 at 8:44 am

      sorry to suck up your comment feed… just trying to figure out why comment luv wasn’t pulling my posts… oh, there it is.

  • Tweets that mention Taking yourself with you. | Hormonal Imbalances — Topsy.com

    August 2, 2010 at 12:06 pm

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Diana, Diana. Diana said: Taking yourself with you.: Moving is exciting – not the process so much as the promise it holds. I’ve moved a lot… http://bit.ly/9OS1gX […]

  • Erika

    August 2, 2010 at 11:29 am

    We’re planning a move this month, too. Many of the same issues, some different but certainly feeling the same thing. I made a point to hunt out things like farmers markets, library, and churches, the last time we moved. Really helped make this place a home quickly. Thanks for reminding me what’s important. . .instead of stressing out about how I’m going to manage packing all this junk in a few weeks!

  • Mandy

    August 2, 2010 at 11:10 am

    Diana you are such a great person and I think that it is great that you are setting goals, but remember that you are great just the way you are now. You are going to make lots of friends and they are going to be lucky to have you. I’m sure going to miss you but will visit when I can. You are such a great friend, mom, and wife. I love you and your little family. Bella is so beautiful and she is so lucky to have you.

  • metta1313

    August 2, 2010 at 9:28 am

    Oh the comfort zone, how I love thee! But I’m right there with you. I mean meeting up with Story Time Momma on Friday was great…looking for a new job and thinking of making friends there and starting my professional career over is exhilarating. But it’s so scary. And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…When are you going to wise up and move near me. You will already have a friend and a playmate for Bella :).

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