Moving is exciting – not the process so much as the promise it holds.
I’ve moved a lot and seen many people move closer and further. It seems to me like there is one common theme in all the moving mess – you believe things will be different, no, that you will be different once you get there.
I start dreaming of the new me. Since there is more to do in the city, I will obviously do more. Be more involved. Get out more.
I see myself happily working out in the community gym. Taking Bella to classes. Going to yoga. Meeting other moms with ease.
Nevermind that I didn’t do much of that here. I’ve convinced myself that a change of scenery will make all the difference.
So I stop and think. Really? Will I walk through the door of my apartment and transform? I’ll become an outgoing person who likes to exercise?
Probably not. I’ve realized that when you move, you take yourself with you. All of it. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Now, sure, we all make changes after a move. But a lot of the time they are temporary ones fueled by the thrill of a new place. I’ve seen relatives move with giant hopes and dreams of a new life, a fresh start, only to eventually fall back into their old days and wonder what went wrong. Comfort zone. It’s uncomfortable to be someone new for very long.
So as I think of this, I wonder what I can do to make sure that a lot of the goals I set for our new life happen, and become a part of me – of us.
This time will be different because there is a loss, sadness, and a determination not to repeat mistakes driving our changes.
– Being on track financially. Sam and I are going to a financial planner to set goals and get things back on track. This house is a huge wake-up call to us about planning wisely with our money.
– Making friends. The loneliness of these past 3 years with the sudden friendship of Mandy is bittersweet. A reminder that hesitating or waiting often means you missed something wonderful, that could have been a part of your life for a long time already.
– Getting involved in the community. Sam and I both agree on this – we want to make this new place our home. Will we move again? Maybe. But we really want to make it somewhere we know all about; from farmers markets to museums. We’re already buying passes and making plans.
– Living simply. One car for as long as we can. Not getting cable or a home phone again.Finding local places to shop. Saving our money. Focusing on what’s important and not what we can buy to “look rich.” (Who cares anyway, you know?)
– Finding a church. For us, especially me being a pastors kid (yep, betcha didn’t know that one) finding a church is like choosing an extended family. We want one that is commited to teaching the Bible, helping us with our marriage, and in raising our daughter in a Christian home. We have several already we are going to check out.
Those are the main goals we have, and the plans we have to make them a reality. I hope we stick to them. Maybe two is better than one in that effort.
I don’t want to bring myself along as baggage, a reminder of what I’m not brave or strong enough to do. I want to step out of my comfort zone and be the person, wife, and mom I think about and hope to become.