I’ve decided there is something very wrong with me that the thought of my child leaving my side for a few hours a week sends me into a state of guilt and panic.
Sam and I agreed to put Bella in daycare or find a nanny 2 days a week. Half days, so really more of a sitter than a nanny. He’ll be gone 18 weeks for the Army.
18 weeks. I can’t even think about it right now. Or blog about it.
I’ve been posting ads and calling around, trying to get ideas of what would be a good fit for her. I’ve narrowed it down to three choices:
- Public daycare (like Primrose or Montessori)
- In home daycare
- Nanny/Sitter in our home
Pros for Public Daycare:
- More structure in her day
- Professionals used to dealing with lots of personalities
- Activities geared towards her age
- Lots of peer interaction
- A set, flat rate with set times
Pros for In home daycare
- Flexibility on days and hours if needed
- More individual attention
- Less chances of her being sick
Pros for Nanny/Sitter
- Bella’s schedule can stay the same during the day
- We have on call help if needed
- Lots of flexiblity
- Able to get another SAHM with a similiarly aged child
Then there are the cons.
Cons for Public Daycare
- Very little flexibility in days/hours
- Lots of sick germs
- Have to pay even if I didn’t bring Bella one day/week
- Hard to find a place that will do half days – especially just two
Cons for In home daycare
- I worry someone might treat Bella differently than her own kids
- Cost is higher than public daycare
- Personal involvement (like not charging if I’m late to be nice, but then there’s the awkwardness if I run late again…)
- Have to bring her nap stuff with us (3 flights of stairs – that is all)
Cons for Nanny/Sitter
- Cost is around in home in some cases but usually higher
- Bella won’t get a lot of peer interaction
- I have someone in my home that whole time, so I have to be gone
- Dependability (like someone just doesn’t show up – ever)
Really, I know I have a lot of cons for public daycare, but I’m leaning towards it. And this might sound crazy, but a lot of it has to do with the professionalism and personal aspect of the other two choices. I don’t want to have someone feel like they can’t say, “Hey, you were late and you owe me extra money.” I also don’t want to feel like I can’t say, “Looks like Bella bonked her head last time she was here,” because I’m afraid of hurting their feelings.
I found someone we are going to interview that wants to do in home. She has a 2 year old and 3 month old, works pt as a nurse, lives very close. However, what she wants per hour is what I’d pay a nanny. Not someone with 2 other kids that I have to bring my child to and from. But this is what I’m finding right now.
Then there’s the guilt of leaving her (I know, it’s good for her and me, she’ll be fine eventually). But it’s there, and I have to figure out a way to be 100% comfortable with this decision. Sometimes I wonder if this is a waste of money. Most moms would kill to stay at home and I’m working on farming my kid out. I mean, no, not really, but the money could be used on other things.
I think I know too much. Having worked as a nanny, and in a daycare, I’ve seen many situations that I swore I would never leave my child in. That the parents never had a clue about.
Now I’m so paranoid I can’t leave her anywhere. :/
Which one would/did you pick? Why? If you had to pick one (cost/hours/etc) what did you wish you had chosen instead? How did get the point where you felt totally comfortable with your decision?