Blog Envy – what to do

January 9, 2011

Blog Envy. Who doesn’t get it? I know I do.

In fact, I think it’s fairly predominant among us Mommy Bloggers. You click on an interesting blog title, and suddenly – it’s like blogger heaven. The layout is gorgeous, every post has a ton of comments, the writing makes you pee yourself a little with laughter, bright shiny colors, ads up the ying yang, perfect photos (camera phone? shut.your.mouth), the writer seems down to earth and super nice, her kids are apparently being groomed to become movie stars, she’s giving away a small jet plane (courtesy of her best friend United) to one lucky reader – you leave a comment saying how much you love her/the blog/the post…

And then you click off and die a little inside. In fact, you could light a small fire with the jealousy burning in your heart.

You think, “What about ME? I deserve a small jet plane. In fact, I deserve a large jet plane. My posts have words, my blog has a title, I like United…”

And if you KNOW her? Personally?

I’ll bet you just had a small stroke after you clicked out of it.

So what do you do with blog envy?

1. Become a stalker and take down their blog. After all, if you can’t have a small jet? No one can. (Not the *best* choice)

2. Stop blogging. Fall into a black hole of self pity and remain there for a while. Maybe forever. (Better, but still, really not great for the old self esteem)

3. Compete. Hardcore. No one’s giving you a jet? Fine. Buy yourself one. A bigger one. From Delta. And then tell everyone you get free jets because your blog is that cool. Post pics of yourself giving the Delta president a hug. (Best choice. Evah)

No more jealousy fire in your heart. Just an empty bank account, and perhaps you can’t keep your firstborn, but it’s worth it. Win/Win. 

Except.

The better blogger got a jet to giveaway. Better get on that. No sense in being greedy. Hopefully you have another kid laying around somewhere.

29 Comments

  • Jackie Georgiou

    February 11, 2011 at 5:29 pm

    Ha ha ha ha! So witty.

  • Stephanie

    February 1, 2011 at 8:18 am

    As a relative newbie trying to become an official mommy blogger, there is not one blog out there that I haven’t envied yet! Thanks for validating my feelings.

    Very funny stuff. Thank you.

  • Mrs. MidAtlantic

    January 10, 2011 at 8:41 am

    Haha, this is so on point! I have total blog jealousy, on like every blog I read. All I can do is hope that at least one reader out there is jealous of my blog in return! Pretty please?

  • Alexia

    January 9, 2011 at 10:17 pm

    Wait…someone’s giving away a jet?! LMAO!!!!!

    Your blog is amazing because you speak from the heart. You have hundreds of faithful readers and you always have supportive comments. I’m freaking JEALOUS!! I’ve been blogging for a year and only have 24 followers. Then again, I don’t really care. As long as those who read get something from what I write, oh well. I say screw the popularity contest and blog for the love of self-expression and commiseration. Cause you’re really good at it ; )

  • kim

    January 9, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    I’m not alone in my envy over your ‘mad paint skilz’! And I’ve mentioned b/v about my jealousy issues. Was just doing some deep breathing and chanting over here . . .:) I laughed so hard reading this. I loved it!

  • Nicci @ Changing the Universe

    January 9, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    You know, if you would have told me, I would have given you my extra jet. You know, they DID give me an extra one, just in case I broke mine 😉 No need for the jealousy!

  • Mad Woman behind the Blog

    January 9, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    Funny that blog envy took over my day again. Happens when I have too much time on my hands.

    But this made me laugh, and I needed that. Thank you!

  • Alyssa

    January 9, 2011 at 5:42 pm

    I have blogger envy of YOU. You’ve been going for 1 year, and have comments on almost every post, like a LOT of comments.

    I’ve been going 2 years, and have maaaaybe 1-2 comments per post. I don’t post a lot, I know, but I definitely have blogger envy of you. 🙂

  • Mandyland

    January 9, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    This post killed me. (Not literally of course.) I have so been there. It always happens when I get two or three new followers and am starting to feel pretty darn good about my blogging self. Then I decide to click on an innocent-looking link and then…

    Some blog designed by Martha Stewart pops up with three million followers and seven hundred comments per post.

    It’s enough to make my head explode.

  • Cheeseboy

    January 9, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    I never had blog envy until I read this hilarious post. Now I have blog envy. That black pit looks delightful.

  • Tracy (@metta1313)

    January 9, 2011 at 11:41 am

    And now I’m even more jealous that you still blog, and I don’t….can’t. But I still heart you!

    1. Diana

      January 9, 2011 at 2:37 pm

      I heart you too! And I heart you even more for your amazing self control and self awareness – because it takes a strong person to do what you did.

  • Mary How

    January 9, 2011 at 11:36 am

    Envy is another great form of flattery, although it is a painful pill to swallow. Who really needs a jet plane anyway!

    1. Diana

      January 9, 2011 at 2:37 pm

      Not me. I hate flying. :p But yeah, when I get jealous it just means someone is doing a good job with blogging, life, whatever. It’s just not a very great way to show it.

  • Kathy

    January 9, 2011 at 10:01 am

    Blog envy has me redesigning my blog way too often…

    1. Diana

      January 9, 2011 at 2:38 pm

      I hopped over to yours and it’s lovely.

  • Tweets that mention Blog Envy – what to do | — Topsy.com

    January 9, 2011 at 10:01 am

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Martha Replacement, Diana, Diana, Diana and others. Diana said: Blog Envy – what to do http://t.co/P3ArmTR […]

  • TheNextMartha

    January 9, 2011 at 9:59 am

    Thank God I don’t have one of *those* blogs that people swoon over. Sounds like a lot of pressure. I’ve always enjoyed yours though. ::Runs for a glass of water for fire::

    1. Diana

      January 9, 2011 at 2:36 pm

      Your comments always make me laugh so hard. In fact, sometimes I go back and read my Scary Mommy comments just to see yours and laugh again. I can hear your voice (which I make up but it’s super nice, promise) in my head as I read these.
      And you get TONS of comments on your blog.

  • Guilty Squid

    January 9, 2011 at 9:55 am

    I don’t think I’ve enjoyed a post here quite as much as I did this one.

    Great job, my friend.

    I don’t sell ads, or do giveaways, or any of that, so I don’t know where I fall in the envy scale.

    1. Diana

      January 9, 2011 at 2:35 pm

      Well. I envy your blog. So there you have it. 🙂

      And the fact that you got syndicated on BlogHer? Um. I know it was a tough post but yeah. Jealous.

      You are an amazing writer. And tweeter.

  • Jen J. – Life With Levi

    January 9, 2011 at 9:51 am

    Been there. Envious of your cool little funny stick drawing right now 🙂

    1. Diana

      January 9, 2011 at 2:33 pm

      lol – it took me forever. Which is pretty sad. Considering it still looks like that.

  • Chelcie @ FAB

    January 9, 2011 at 9:46 am

    Ugh this is how I’ve been feeling lately. Blog envy, life envy, job envy. Except I seriously am considering throwing in the towel on blogging. It must have something to do with the new year and all of those failed expectations. It’s hard putting all of your effort in something and feeling like it doesn’t even matter. Meh. Thank for the laugh and a little more perspective. I have to start working harder to be like my favorite blogs instead of giving up.

    1. Diana

      January 9, 2011 at 2:33 pm

      I almost gave up right before the start of this year. It’s in my “2011 – the year my blog changes” post if you want to read it. I get jealous all the time about everything too – it’s really unhealthy. Other blogs, friends, homes, jobs, money… the list is endless. Which is why I did this post. Because when I think about it, my envy is ridiculous and leads to nothing but me feeling like crap. Because the people I get jealous of certainly don’t care.
      Don’t give up if you love to blog. I’m here if you ever want to chat or vent. ((hugs))

  • Cindy @ This Adventure, Our Life

    January 9, 2011 at 9:40 am

    You make me laugh :)! Blogging Envy- yeah it happens but you are probably jealous of someone’s blog and who knows whom is jealous of yours! I guess I am not that into blogging (but that is okay!) You have an AWESOME blog, okay do I win something, ha ha!

    1. Diana

      January 9, 2011 at 2:30 pm

      Yes! A jet, oh wait. I only have one kid. Sorry. 🙁

  • Cathy

    January 9, 2011 at 9:34 am

    Lol!! If I had a blog I’d be envious after seeing this post !

    1. Diana

      January 9, 2011 at 2:30 pm

      Because of my mad skills with Paint? I know.

      Jealous?

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