Let’s discuss how I’m a porker.

January 4, 2011

Personally, I think I got the shaft when it came to not getting the gene to be “naturally thin.” Not that I’m a beluga, but jealousy abounds when I hear someone (thin) say, “And I just eat all the time – I can’t seem to gain weight!” ::throws up in mouth::

I’ll never watch a Victoria’s Secret commercial without thinking how nice it would be if one of them choked on the once-a-year hamburger they eat while assuring us it’s a regular meal.

I most certainly thought I ate in moderation over the holidays. Well, except cookies. Casserole(s). Mashed potatoes. Bagels. Candy. And seafood alfredo from the Olive Garden. But really – those didn’t count because they were “Holiday Calories.” Right? Right.

Yet *somehow* my lower portion got the message that it was ok to tack on about 3 inches to each section and never.let.go. Titanic style.

I’d like you to take a look at this Christmas picture. Brace yourself.

Besides the obvious fact my kid made off with a haul this Christmas, I think it’s quite clear that I’m not winning Mom Abs of the Year anytime soon. (And for all of you about to say, “I can’t even tell; you look amazing” – NO. Just, no.)

So, here’s the part in every weight post that you read about someone pledging to start exercising, start a diet, start a massive colon cleanse (thank you Jennifer). Run a marathon, walk themselves thin, eat cabbage, go vegan.

But. I’m not.

Instead of wallowing in self hate after seeing these photos and then pledging to do something I’d never follow through with, I did something a little insane. I went out and bought myself a whole new wardrobe with gift cards. For my post-baby self. So clothes actually fit me.

And now, I’m not looking in the mirror with a muffin top, suffocated thighs and back rolls begging for mercy while my mind screams, “LOOK AT YOU FATTY – YOU WERE ABLE TO FIT IN THESE A COUPLE YEARS AGO! WHY DON’T WE SHOVE ANOTHER BAGEL IN THAT PIEHOLE?”

I was tired of feeling like a loser when I put on my old clothes. Frumpy, bumpy, and lumpy. I don’t care that my pants no longer have a single digit on them. I don’t care that my shirts all say “L” (which, incidentally, does not stand for loser).

This year, I pledge to love me. To be healthy – but in a positive way. To be realistic about my body. To not cringe when I stand in front of the mirror after a shower and think things I’d never in a million years dream of saying to anyone else. To accept there are seasons I go through physically. To rock whatever clothes I happen to fit into at the time.

To be – for severe lack of a better term – a proud porker.  ::fist pump::


  • MarCoch

    February 17, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    Serwis prezentuje frikowe ilustracje i filmy z serii [url=http://www.anonse-mazowieckie.pl]sex anonse warszawa[/url]. Galerie erotyczne przeznaczone jedynie dla widzow doroslych. Codzienna aktualizacja tresci. Zobacz juz dzis!

  • Small Steps. See also: ::Head Explosion:: : Hormonal Imbalances

    July 18, 2011 at 8:44 am

    […] than you – I breastfeed. Maybe I'm a crazy hippie – Stroller Snobs – Capitalizing on Crunchy – Let's discuss how I'm a porker – Blog […]

  • I’m a mom. In a swimsuit. And it’s ok. : Hormonal Imbalances

    May 23, 2011 at 8:27 am

    […] than you – I breastfeed. Maybe I'm a crazy hippie – Stroller Snobs – Capitalizing on Crunchy – Let's discuss how I'm a porker – Blog […]

  • lucy

    February 13, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    Ahhh. Your attitude is refreshing. Thank you. Love the self-love.

  • Lynn

    January 5, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    Oh, man, I have so many “wake-up call” photos from the holidays…pictures suck hard. I’ve already up-sized a couple of times and given up on getting back down to single digit sizing. But I do want to work out more this year, purely for health benefits. I gotta stay alive for my kid. I should post some of my photos…oh Lordy…tell me that the camera puts on 30 lbs and not just 10…

    1. Diana

      January 6, 2011 at 3:37 pm

      I’m saying the camera puts on 50. Because it’s evil and knows.

      I really get the health thing, and I would like to be there. I think that for me, mental health needs to come first. Because even when I was thinner, I still hated my body. And that is really unhealthy.

  • D

    January 5, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    Okay you never.let.go Titanic thing had me rolling with laughter. But on a more serious note, I think your goal is awesome. I was reminded recently that I am God’s creation & I needed to start appreciating that fact. Then I read this article from {in}courage that really hit home: http://www.incourage.me/2010/12/i-couldnt-zip-my-christmas-dress.html Just wanted to pass it along to you. It’s great to want to be healthy, but it’s even better to love yourself. Great post!

    1. Diana

      January 6, 2011 at 3:36 pm

      I LOVE that article – and the blog too. Thank you. It was inspiring to read that.

  • melissa

    January 5, 2011 at 10:31 am

    Go, Diana, go! Love this!

  • Alyson

    January 5, 2011 at 10:29 am

    <3 No matter how you ever look, which is NOT fat in anyway, I still love you 🙂

  • Cindy @ This Adventure, Our Life

    January 5, 2011 at 10:19 am

    What a a great and honest post you have put out here. When your clothes do not fit whether too small or too larger it makes you feel sloppy and ugly. When clothes fit, you feel good, whether your size is “x” or “xx”… I want to be motivated to exercise so bad and it is funny how I imagine myself different until like you I see the photos, ugh! Lets together try to get there this year. Love this post.

    1. Diana

      January 6, 2011 at 3:35 pm

      Too big or too small is the issue – I think so many of us have a distorted self image. And it doesn’t help that the things we wear make us look odd then.

  • Hanan

    January 5, 2011 at 12:43 am

    Go YOU!! Now that is how a women should think! You should totally post your new outfits.

    P.S. Thanks for @ing me on twitter =)

    1. Diana

      January 5, 2011 at 10:30 am

      I love you on Twitter.

      I will try to get some new outfit pics – that’s a good idea! Like a before and after.

      1. Hanan

        January 5, 2011 at 11:22 am

        *blushes* thanks love!! You could totally do a before and after, how a real women dresses!!

  • Alexia

    January 4, 2011 at 9:55 pm

    Amen girl!! I had to wrestle with buying all my holiday outfits at the plus-size store, until I looked at myself in the plus-size dressing room and I looked…well, better than usual. It’s hard to accept the changes that our bodies went through to make these little miracle people that we take care of 24/7. It’s hard to find the time for us to just enjoy being active when all we want to do is put our feet up and watch some reality TV. The acceptance is totally the end game. And yet I say all this as I just reinstated my lapsed WW account cause I was watching the Biggest Loser and decided that I want to be a healthy active mom. Granted there will be no marathons or 6am jogs for me, just a more toned and energized version. Good luck with everything Diana…and enjoy that new wardrobe!!

    1. Diana

      January 4, 2011 at 11:15 pm

      I agree with it all – esp. the part about just wanting to relax when you do have time to work out!!

  • Jessica

    January 4, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    Im fist pumping with you. Reading this I just wanted to stand up and yell, HELL”S YEAH! LOL. God Bless you, this is so refreshing to read. it’s like a Dove commercial, love the skin your in, haha. Yet it’s so hard to do. Hating yourself is sooooo much easier. I need to learn this lesson. I still want to lose weight for health reasons, and because I just want to look better, but I need to make peace with my body as it is right now. Oh and you do look great! Yes, yes you do!

    1. Diana

      January 4, 2011 at 11:14 pm

      Thank you!! And yes, hating and beating yourself up is easier – and seems to come naturally to most of us. We’ve been programmed since birth to hate the way we look, and that’s just sad.

  • Cathy

    January 4, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    Excited to see your new clothes! Nicely said 🙂

    1. Diana

      January 4, 2011 at 11:12 pm

      Thanks Cathy. 🙂

  • themanager

    January 4, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    :::fist bumps::: you got this girl!

    i on the other need to get my a** in shape because these last 10 yrs of not giving a shiz are adding up. and, for me it’s all about my health because weight aside, i have gots me some HIGH cholesterol. i want to make a life change, said with much cliche. i will never be model thin, my boobs are forever bound to droop and my thighs will always touch. but, i want to be here for my kids, enjoying them & living everyday to it’s fullest.

    1. Diana

      January 4, 2011 at 11:12 pm

      I see your point, and I really do want to be more fit and health conscious. It’s just that until I accept this, I can’t get there. And when I was smaller? I still hated how I looked. How much I regret that now…

  • Elizabeth

    January 4, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    you are awesome. and let it be said that any one of us can have a muffin top in poorly fitting pants.

    1. Diana

      January 4, 2011 at 11:11 pm

      Even Britney Spears. And that made me feel so much better about myself. :p

  • kim

    January 4, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    How hard do you rock? And thats all so true, how even if you happen to be the same weight post pregnancy, your clothes probably won’t fit the same. In some weird twist of crazy fate I always lost all the baby weight by like day 7 — I know, right? Yet the clothes have NEVER fit again. EVER. And some of the weight came back. Yeah! I love that you bought yourself new clothes. LOVE. And now that you feel better you’ll treat yourself better. And now I have to go run. B/c I am not as awesome as you 🙂

    1. Diana

      January 4, 2011 at 11:10 pm

      I lost all the weight almost instantly. And then? Then I was so excited I ate everything in sight. For a year.

      And now look at me. 🙂 I need to have another baby to get this weight off lol.

  • Becky

    January 4, 2011 at 11:40 am

    Are you my long lost twin? I have matching abs! Seriously. My husband (who works out often) and I have this conversation all the time because I’m in a constant state of feeling lardy. This is the time in my life when my kids are small. They are my priority. Not an hour at the gym. I will have the opportunity later in my life to make exercise a priority, but right now, it’s 10 million times more important for me to sit on the floor with my kids and play. While eating cookies.

    1. Diana

      January 4, 2011 at 11:10 pm

      My husband also works out – at least 5 days a week. He;s lost like 40 lbs in 6 months. However – he has the time. I have Bella. It’s totally an excuse but he runs off kid free for an hour each morning while I’m with her, leaves for work, and comes home when she’s in bed. So the only time I have – is time when I want to either clean, nap, or relax.

      1. Becky

        January 5, 2011 at 12:27 pm

        Right on the money.

  • Branson

    January 4, 2011 at 11:35 am

    Lol loved this! Good for you, mama 🙂

  • Not There Yet

    January 4, 2011 at 11:32 am

    dunna daaaa, dunna daaa (read theme from Rocky) – YES!!!! I love this . You have to do this – otherwise how do we get up in the morning? Clothes that fit!!! Hells yeah!

    1. Diana

      January 4, 2011 at 11:08 pm

      Ah! Love the theme music! If that wasn’t SO annoying to everyone (especially people at work) I’d totally have each post set to a tune.

  • Desi

    January 4, 2011 at 11:16 am

    Stacy and Clinton always say you should dress the size you are….hahah and I always listen to them ;). Anyways, I have that same roll over my jeans, its the mom roll. I am constantly pulling the waistband on my pants up when I sit down. I like that you are embracing it though because lets be honest, a majority of the people that make new years resolutions to exercise and lose weight never stick with it…..I speak from personal trainer experience ha.

    1. Diana

      January 4, 2011 at 11:07 pm

      I love What Not to Wear. 🙂 And I’m one of those people who never stick to the weight resolution, then I end up beating myself up for it.

  • Shannon

    January 4, 2011 at 11:00 am

    i too have come to this conclusion. I was abruptly word smacked in the face when my husband said, “babe, is there a reason you live in your pajamas now?” sooooo ya. I wasn’t eveen in the single digits pre-baby(close but not quite). so after consuming a dozen forsted sugar cookies every single week for 40 weeks, lets just say that double digits is where i’ll be for the next…forever. But Pjville is not for me anymore. I must buy some clothes that look good on me, even if they are from Lane Bryant.
    And really self acceptance is way better than a size 8 no matter how much my naked self disagrees.

    1. Diana

      January 4, 2011 at 11:06 pm

      Ouch, yeah, the pj question is a tough one to justify. And I think trying to fit into a size 8 only makes you more unhappy – which causes you to eat, which means the clothes fit less… It’s a vicious cycle.

  • Heidi K.

    January 4, 2011 at 10:47 am

    Amen, sister. I have been holding on to tons of clothes in smaller sizes, thinking I’d get back into them. I’ve resolved to give away the unrealistically small ones. Two babies in 2 years (well, in 15 months)….my body is POWERFUL. It’s flabby, but I grew and gave birth to two healthy baby boys. My body is worth celebrating. I *am* legitimally overweight (was before i had the 2 boys), but I’m going to take it slow, LOVE MY BODY and never again do a “die-it,” but rather just choose to LIVE-it.

    1. Diana

      January 4, 2011 at 11:05 pm

      Live it – I love that phrase!!

  • TheNextMartha

    January 4, 2011 at 9:56 am

    bwahahah! I should have said that my colon cleanse consisted of drinking a cup of senna tea while still consuming muffins, chips and kit kats. It was strange. All that good tasting food resulted in me being a little backed up. heh. Hey, are you done with that pound cake?

    1. Diana

      January 4, 2011 at 10:40 pm

      ::hands over pound cake::

      I wasn’t, but there you go. 🙂

      I can’t stop thinking about how funny it is that people start out the year with a colon cleanse. Reminds me of the SNL “Colon Blow” commercial parody.

  • Suzanne

    January 4, 2011 at 9:33 am

    This was INCREDIBLY refreshing after the barrage of “LOSE WEIGHT OR YOU ARE DOOMED TO A LIFE OF MISERY” commercials/tv segments/blog posts in the last 5 days. Thank you.

    And what a concept, right? Buying clothes that fit YOU rather than trying to change yourself to fit into CLOTHES.

    1. Diana

      January 4, 2011 at 10:39 pm

      Thanks lady – it was a hard thing to do when I got in that dressing room. I kept struggling with the “I’ll lost 10 lbs and then I won’t be able to wear them” but the thing is that I can’t do that AND beat myself up every day over how I look until then.

  • Sarah

    January 4, 2011 at 9:21 am

    Fist Pump! This just totally made my day! I love laughing out loud in my cubicle! Honestly, I don’t know how you did it though! I think that to myself all the time, “Just go buy clothes that fit now.” Then, I feel guilty because I tell myself, “You’re gonna lose weight and this stuff won’t fit and you’ll have wasted all that money, Fatty-Mcfatface.” So then I never buy anything. I did buy some workout clothes yesterday, I figure if that’s all that fits, maybe I’ll be forced to run more? Probably not.

    1. Diana

      January 4, 2011 at 10:38 pm

      I have always told myself that I need to fit back into my old clothes – that it’s stupid to go buy new ones right before “dieting”. Only – the diet has only really worked once. The clothes? Don’t work everyday. Something had to give.

  • Devan @ Accustomed Chaos

    January 4, 2011 at 8:45 am

    Cheering you on! I have had such issues with weight and self esteem that i had to resolve to let it go & focus on FITNESS and not weight loss (i will become obsessive over that). Scales are not allowed in this house for that reason.

    ::fist pump!::

    1. Diana

      January 4, 2011 at 10:37 pm

      It’s so hard to balance, like I said to you earlier, I think you ROCK for taking on the C25K like you have. Right now, I’m just not there. I’m trying to learn to let some of this go so it doesn’t rule my whole life.

  • Tweets that mention Let’s discuss how I’m a porker. | Hormonal Imbalances — Topsy.com

    January 4, 2011 at 8:44 am

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Diana, Diana. Diana said: Let’s discuss how I’m a porker.: Personally, I think I got the shaft when it came to not getting the gene to be … http://bit.ly/faV2uS […]

  • Jen

    January 4, 2011 at 8:41 am

    Its so true, you will most likely never fit the same way into your old clothes. While you may get them to fit comfortably, they probably wont fit the way they did pre-baby, or feel that way either. When we are preggo our body changes so much, I think they only way to get to look like those super thin models, is to never eat, have a tummy tuck, and some lypo. Seriously! I lost 40 lbs after I had Brighton, and was looking and feeling really good, however even though I was back in my pre-preggo (with Mason) clothes they still fit differently. I have learned to buy clothes for my body, not to try to make my body fit into clothes. I look and feel way better doing this. I also look at my “muffin top” as my mommy medal, as well as my stretch marks. I know it sounds silly, maybe kinda stupid, but I would much rather have them and be proud to be a momma then have a perfect body and not have my kids. (not that I ever had a perfect body) Keep up the great posts. 🙂

    1. Diana

      January 4, 2011 at 10:36 pm

      Yes, I love that. Me too. I’d never take back Bella for a knockout body. Having both? Would be great. But that isn’t going to happen. 🙂

  • LA@TheReelFamily

    January 4, 2011 at 8:24 am

    Women I love you for this post. LOVE YOU! I too have learned that my prebaby body and post baby body will not be one and the same and learning to love myself for it. Loose skin and all he was worth every bit of it.

    1. Diana

      January 4, 2011 at 10:35 pm

      It is worth it – I forget at times this didn’t just happen because I decided to overload on cookies – I created a human being inside me!

Comments are closed.

Prev Post Next Post