When people you know read your blog

January 17, 2011

Perhaps your family and friends knew about your blog from the very beginning because you started it for updates. Perhaps they knew about it later when you let it slip in a conversation. Perhaps you became desperate a month in because you were stuck at 12 followers on Google Friend Connect and you knew one of them had to have a gmail account – right? So you sent out an invitation to the world, “Here it is, please come read and leave a comment. Please. PLEASE.”

Perhaps there was a point later on when you could have easily gnawed off your own arm for that decision.

Whatever the reason or accident, they read it. And, more than likely, most of them are wonderfully supportive and write you on occasion about how much they love it. That’s wonderful.

The other ones? They fall into categories. And if you find yourself wondering if the following is about you, please remember this post – cuz it’s not:

– The stalker: They always remain a mystery. Never actually *saying* they read your blog, but you have a suspicion they must. How often can you post, “OMG my pants won’t fit over my ankles anymore!” and share it on FB without them having the slightest curiosity of why you’ve gotten so fat? You know they do. You know it. But. You can’t prove it.

– The slipper: You don’t know this person well, in fact, maybe you haven’t seen them in years. A friend request accepted, and few pleasantries and some photo album stalking, and a few months later you bump into them. Where they happen to ask about how you’re doing in therapy for your marriage. An awkward silence ensues as they realize you’ve never talked about it anywhere else but your blog.

– The literal translator: Blogs are meant to be over the top dramatic. But this person? Has no idea. And so when you post something like, “I lose my marbles and yell, ‘Knock it off! All of you! Silence! Sit! Down! Now! No! Talking! Are! You! In! Sane?!’ Susan gets worried. In fact, each post makes her doubt your sanity and ability to parent. Phrases you say like, “I was going to kill all of them!” make her jump in fright. Your children ask you why Susan keeps whispering to them, “Do you like living with Mommy?”

– The hater: Hey jealousy. Nancy has a way of making you feel about two inches tall when she brings up your blog, in her “Isn’t it nice you have time for this?” voice. Always making sure you realize how RIDICULOUS she thinks it is, reiterating how she simply is much too busy “being a good mother” to blog. Which is odd since she spends most of her day on the phone or FB telling you this…

– The professional: Your friends husband is head of a large company, and learns you have a blog. Suddenly, he has a product for you to sell on it. Stripper-wear for moms. Like Tupperwear because you have parties. Only – not at all like Tupperware because it has lace and spikes. And a free whip with every purchase over $30. Awkward? I think yes.

– The questioner: Uncle John has no idea what a blog is. Heck, he’s just figured out how to turn on the computer. Using it is next week. So your conversations with him consist of the same explanation over and over, “And I write, then people (hopefully) come read and leave a comment.” He insists there must be more. He also insists a blog is a type of pyramid scam and that you are going to lose all your money, and possibly his, one day by doing this.

And of course, 

– The announcer: These people become vocal about your blog, assuming what you write is fair game for the world, and the family Easter dinner. Usually an aunt or older cousin, they cackle at you from the other side of the ham in their “my hearing aid isn’t all the way up” voice; “Julia here wrote on her blog thing her thighs look like mounds of cottage cheese when she stands in front of the mirror and she’s jealous of one of her naturally thin cousins! She must mean you Tina – she’s been eyeing you up the whole day. Is that who you mean Julia? Why don’t you try to run that 5k again you posted about? You shed 10lbs doing that and then gained it all back stuffing your face with – what did you write it was? – Chinese take out? Lordy, I couldn’t eat that stuff if I tried. How’s it going with you being a better mom? Did you and Greg ever work out that you’d rather lick a toad than sleep with him when he stays up all night playing video games? Probably isn’t helping that your marriage counselor is as hot as – who did you say? – oh, Puck from Glee. Who is that again?”

As much as we love our family and friends, I think we all envy anonymous bloggers at times. Thank you to the bloggers that helped put this together. 🙂

37 Comments

  • Branson

    January 18, 2011 at 11:46 pm

    This totally cracked me up. So true. I am suposed to be on bloggy vaca but I had to post a guest post tonight so I am cheating ;o)p

    1. Diana

      January 19, 2011 at 11:24 am

      Glad you decided to cheat with me. :p

  • D

    January 18, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    I started annoymously and hoping to stay that way. However, my MIL made several comments this weekend that have made me seriously question this annoymous status. The question is, How in the Hell did she find it??? I’m betting once it gets out, she would fall into the Announcer category or Eager Puppy. I should go ahead and quit now…

    1. Diana

      January 19, 2011 at 11:24 am

      That is creepy. You should email me if you find out she did – we can share stories.

  • Tracy (@metta1313)

    January 17, 2011 at 11:33 pm

    A weird thing happened to me. I reconnected with someone I used to work with via facebook. It has been like 3 or 4 years since we last spoke. I told her about getting married and having a kid and stuff. Her response, “Oh I know. I read your blog.” ZOMG! Makes you wonder.

    1. Diana

      January 19, 2011 at 11:23 am

      I was watching Lost as I read this and got totally creeped out. lol

  • Cole

    January 17, 2011 at 9:07 pm

    I have another category for you! The frenemy/in-law that does something SO irritating/angering/stupid that you NEED to rant about…but you can’t because it would cause drama.

    1. Diana

      January 19, 2011 at 11:22 am

      Ah yes. The category I couldn’t include for many reasons, but that I would love to. So many blog posts on that topic…

  • Jen

    January 17, 2011 at 6:55 pm

    I love it!! Reason #42 why I haven’t started my own 🙂 I have too many people trying to be all about my business already, I don’t need any more. But seriously, are you talking about me?? Just tell me. 🙂 *Someday, I hope to be just like “The Announcer” only because when you get old, you lose your tactful filter. And my filter is so small already, I may be able to get away with saying things like this in about 10 years!!

    1. Diana

      January 19, 2011 at 11:22 am

      It is. You’re the professional – and quite honestly I’d like you to stop trying to sell me Stripper Wear. :p

  • Nicci @ Changing the Universe

    January 17, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    HA!! So much of teh awesome! Well done 🙂

  • Becca

    January 17, 2011 at 2:46 pm

    Ha! I totally agree! 🙂 Ironically, I tend to be a rather private person in all areas of my life…except for my blog. Which makes it rather awkward when people then bring up rather personal things from my blog in everyday conversation. It shouldn’t seem odd, because I obviously put it out there for everyone to read about, but somehow, it still seems….strange.

    1. Diana

      January 17, 2011 at 3:08 pm

      You know, that’s a good point. Here we all blog publicly, and then we get all kinds of stabby when people IRL bring up topics. But it’s different – it’s like someone read your diary and then talks about it with you. I dunno.

  • Jessica

    January 17, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    I TOTALLY love this post! It made me smile & giggle as I read the entire thing. As I was reading, I was thinking: “Yes, I know someone like that. Oh yeah ___ would be this type. ____ would fall under this category.” hehe…

    But my question is: How much do we let these “viewers” & opinions influence our posts? I mean, I struggle with this issue on pretty much a daily basis.

    1. Anne @ A JD + Three

      January 17, 2011 at 2:45 pm

      I let it impact my content for sure. Actually, I thought twice about writing today’s post because my daughter, who is the topic of the post, reads my blog on occassion.

      I think it has to be whatever makes you happy. I have chosen to stay away from some topics or some content because I do not want to deal with explaining things to my 8 year old. Maybe not the ballsy choice, but my choice nontheless.

    2. Blair@HeirtoBlair

      January 17, 2011 at 2:51 pm

      I think it has to do with balance.

      I know that sounds cheesy. But when the blog gets “out of balance” for me, aka too many ads, too many sponsored posts, too much trying to please readers…that’s when they start influencing me. & that’s when I back off those & just try to get back to writing, not the culture surrounding the writing.

      If you’re asking about letting people I know read my blog – I give them fair warning. I say, “Yep, I have a blog & you’re welcome to read it but you should know upfront that there are things in there you may not like & things about me that you may not like. But it’s me & you’re welcome to it.”

      1. Diana

        January 19, 2011 at 11:26 am

        Just re-read this. I’m keeping your reply as my own now. Well said – it covers everything they need to know.

    3. Diana

      January 17, 2011 at 3:14 pm

      Anne and Blair have great points – it just depends on your comfort level. How much can you take sharing while knowing maybe everyone is or might be reading it? For me, there is privacy in not venting my frustrations or anger with people that know me, because it leads to even bigger problems. Also I try to be careful how many super personal posts I put in a short space because that has backfired many, many times.

      Sometimes when I’m not ready to share everything, I post on something else a little lighter. And when I am ready? I put on my big girl panties and get ready for the questions or comments.

      Love your question.

  • kim

    January 17, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    I cannot stop laughing over here!! Especially b/c you KNOW I totally told the family in an effort to jump start my blog. Now they read, don’t follow, but call with all sorts of fun comments, ideas and information! 🙂 I LOVE this. You are a GENIUS!!

    1. Diana

      January 17, 2011 at 3:09 pm

      I was thinking of you as I wrote it – lol – but I totally think so many of us do. And it’s great until you suddenly realize that it REALLY limits what you can and want to blog about. Which might be a good thing, in my case it challenges me to get it figured out in other ways.

  • Lizz

    January 17, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    I just found your blog, love it and this post is SO right on! Look forward to reading more!

    1. Diana

      January 17, 2011 at 3:05 pm

      Thank you!! That was sweet.

  • Not There Yet

    January 17, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    I agree! I could NEVER be true to myself if I weren’t anonymous. But I think the rest of you are SO BRAVE! My family knows I have a blog, but have no idea how to find it. I did also set up a separate public blog so that they can see pics and “Family friendly” posts…
    Of course, DH has full access to both…

    1. Diana

      January 17, 2011 at 3:04 pm

      I wondered if you ever told DH about your blog, I remember way back in your first posts you said you hadn’t yet.

  • Inthebabyhood

    January 17, 2011 at 11:59 am

    I’m an anonymous blogger myself and I couldn’t fathom spilling my soul on some personal things if I knew my family and friends were reading…eek! For instance, I just wrote ABOUT some of my family members on my latest post!!!

  • Inthebabyhood

    January 17, 2011 at 11:57 am

    I’m an anonymous blogger myself and I couldn’t fathom spilling my soul on some personal things if I knew my family and friends were reading…eek! For instance, I just wrote ABOUT some of my family members on my latest post!!!

    1. Diana

      January 17, 2011 at 3:04 pm

      Ah! I couldn’t do that even if I blogged anonymously – I would be too afraid.

  • Tiffany

    January 17, 2011 at 11:57 am

    Oh yes, I think have one of each of them. And also, one of the verson Beth Anne is referring to. LOL.

    1. Diana

      January 17, 2011 at 3:03 pm

      I can only imagine with how honest you are what on earth you must go through sometimes. And I think we all have an Eager Puppy somewhere…

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    January 17, 2011 at 10:51 am

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  • themanager

    January 17, 2011 at 10:45 am

    a little piece of me died inside when my daughter told her friends’ parents about my blog. now they follow that & my twitter.

    :*(

    1. Diana

      January 17, 2011 at 3:02 pm

      A little piece of me died just reading that. :/ No bueno.

  • Blair@HeirtoBlair

    January 17, 2011 at 10:23 am

    oh darling, you miss one.

    The Eager Puppy: A family member or friend that constantly views your life as a never-ending blog post. You order pizza & there’s extra cheese on it that you didn’t pay for – “hey, you should blog about that!” Or the time you said that you’d rather eat rusted nails – “that’s funny! That should make the blog!”

    Supportive but over-the-top in their eagerness to help, the Eager Puppy makes you want to bang your head against a 2×4.

    1. Diana

      January 17, 2011 at 3:02 pm

      BWAHAHAHAHAHA OMG I know the Eager Puppy! And they are usually so sweet, so loving and so into your blog but you just can’t make them understand not everything in life belongs in a blog post.

      Somethings are just better left for Facebook. 🙂

  • twistedxtian

    January 17, 2011 at 10:20 am

    Brilliant! 🙂

    1. Diana

      January 17, 2011 at 3:00 pm

      Thank you!

  • Laura

    January 17, 2011 at 10:10 am

    this post totally cracked me up! soo true!

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