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My kid beats me

February 26, 2011

I woke up this morning being beaten repeatedly in the face with Bella’s pacifier that is attached to a stuffed kitty. She had a rough night since we’re staying with my parents and ended up in bed with us. Somehow she learned to wield the paci like a slingshot after waking up at the unholy hour of 6am.

Screaming with delight, she whirled it faster and faster as it smacked me on my head, eyes, nose, and mouth. I was so exhausted I just mumbled, “Bella, knock it off” and covered my face. The beating continued. She was totally thrilled with having a captor to practice her skills on.

Then, in a moment of brief consciousness and clarity, I suddenly remembered months ago hearing someone talk about their kid hitting them in the face in bed, and feeling the utmost pity and contempt for their out of control child and obvious lack of parenting skills. I tucked that story away for a day Bella would attempt it and naturally I would be the mother who nipped it in the bud. And I would congratulate myself.

So now I lay there thinking,”I ::whack:: really shouldn’t ::thump:: judge anyone ::screams of happiness:: until I’ve ::smack:: walked in their shoes ::wham::

And/or been hit with their kids’ paci.


  • Jen

    February 27, 2011 at 8:53 pm

    My kids are in a stage right now where they like to make my hair look like “princess hair” every night…ie: ratty, tangled mess. I think I may have bald spots now. They need a MOM detangler spray.

  • Cindy @ This Adventure, Our Life

    February 26, 2011 at 10:38 am

    So yep, I relate totally! I always looked at those parents whose child was throwing themselves down in tantrum, yep, I am sure they were ::bad:: parents, well, guess what Bailey does, yep. ::ugh::

  • Gina

    February 26, 2011 at 10:35 am

    Lol! I used to think I wasn’t ever going to let my child ruin a shopping trip for me. No matter what, or how many evil glares, I would stay and ignore his tantrums.

    I think at this point I’ve left 3 times already.

  • kim

    February 26, 2011 at 10:10 am

    I always said I’d never let my kids IN my bed. Ever. Nope. It wasn’t safe. It wasn’t condusive to the marriage. I wasn’t going for the whole ‘family bed’ thing. They could learn to sleep in their crib from day one! Yeah . . . Violet was in bed with me, nursing while I tried to sleep, on the day we came home from the hospital. Judgey, much?

  • Samantha

    February 26, 2011 at 10:02 am

    OMG me too!! I was so judgy about other moms who used to share stories like this. Then it started happening to me.

    Beaten moms unite!

  • Lisa

    February 26, 2011 at 8:23 am

    I don’t think we should be accountable for any lack of parenting before 8am as a rule lol

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