Crack for kids and clean toilets

March 25, 2011

What a week.

You know, there was a point in my life where I owned nice shoes. Cute pants. Skirts that could be worn all day long with no worries.

This week I felt all kinds of special if I got a shower.

On Saturday Bella started acting odd. I knew she was coming down with something, but wasn’t sure what. I mean, this winter she’s already had croup x2, RSV, Flu A & B, and several colds. So really. What else could she get?

How about croup and an ear infection? So on antibiotics and steroids she went. We didn’t want to wait this time as both were pretty bad.


Someone forgot to inform me that putting your child on steroids means that you might as well give them crack. Doing as I was told, Bella got her first dose when we got home from the Dr.

Right before bed. Do you know what that means? I spent all night Monday up with her. Imagine my surprise when at 8pm, 10pm, 1am, and 3am I found her bouncing in her crib and screaming with laughter as she tossed everything out. Once I tried to put her in bed with me. This abruptly ended when she decided my bed was a trampoline and I was the safety net.

So the next morning, I faithfully gave her another dose. Only to have her run around the house all day – even during meals. I sat on the floor and spooned in bites in between her lapping me. Having been stuck inside since Saturday I was beginning to feel trapped. In an apartment with a tiny mad person on drugs. On top of everything, she was cranky and fell apart about everything.

Wednesday brought the same activity. I called the Dr, who casually mentioned the steroids caused hyperactivity and it would wear off in a few days. The crankiness was the ear infection.

That night after putting my cracked out kid to bed, I began to realize I didn’t feel good. And by that, I mean that any minute I expected my stomach to explode. By 9 I headed to bed. I remember glancing at the toilet and thinking, “I should clean it real quick. Just in case.” It was pretty clean, but I wanted it like super clean. The kind of clean that makes it ok if you have to look at it from 2 inches away.

Good thinking.

By 10 I was hunched over it barfing up everything I had ever eaten in my life. Stomach cramps followed, and every 10-15 minutes I’d run for it. Sam called and I bawled into the phone, “OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO DO IF I’M STILL LIKE THIS AND BELLA IS UP ALL NIGHT AND TOMORROW SHE GETS UP REALLY EARLY AND I CAN’T STOP PUKING AND WHAT IF I’M REALLY SICK AND NO ONE IS HERE AND I CAN’T DO THIS!”

Obviously, being 1,400 miles away he could only offer suggestions and try to comfort me through the phone as I sobbed/barfed. We figured out I had food poisoning from when I took Bella to dinner on Sunday. Thinking about eating bad shellfish made it worse. :/

My brother came by later to bring me crackers and Pepto. That was very sweet. It also made my puke bright pink, so a nice change. Bella only woke up twice, and I managed to drag myself into her room in between puking and change the massive diaper blowout, courtesy of 2 days without pooping.

The next day I had stopped puking but was weak. Bella had calmed down. Desperate to get out, I took her to our grocery store for a few things. It was the highlight of my week.

Today I’m fine. She’s still really cranky but better. I feel awful we can’t go anywhere, but she’s got a really runny nose and a cough. I’m looking forward to tomorrow when my brother and his girlfriend Cathy are coming over.

So, key points to remember:

  • Steroids=crack
  • Clean your toilets really well.
  • Colored barf makes it interesting.
  • Do not order seafood at the Olive Garden.
  • Don’t allow yourself to be sick when you husband is gone and your kid is already sick.
  • Sometimes I don’t think God likes me very much.



  • Branson

    March 26, 2011 at 8:04 am

    Oh my goodness you poor girl! I only wish you hadn’t been too sick to get a video of baby crack lol. Hope you both are all better soon 🙂

  • Jen

    March 25, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    Also shit happens…and usually at night.

  • Dana K

    March 25, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    Steroids are d’ debbil! I am so sorry you had to go through that…especially while puking. I hope y’all are feeling better!

    Oh, I can’t take pepto because pink puke makes me puke even worse. Even when I tried to take it for non-puking issues, it made me puke. Blech.

  • Lisa

    March 25, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    🙁 big hugs for both of you. hope it can be the end of the sicknesses. I really don’t know how you do it. I remember the days of being sick when the kids were sick but at least my husband came home at some point in the evening! (he stays home full time now but unless i’m really sick its usually more relaxing to come to work!)

    1. Diana

      March 25, 2011 at 1:47 pm

      I think it just gets to the point where I black out and just do it. Then collapse into bed. lol

  • Suz @ Suz’s Treats

    March 25, 2011 at 1:09 pm

    Oh wow! What a week for you. Hope today & tonight are the start of a calmer week!

    1. Diana

      March 25, 2011 at 1:47 pm

      Thank you! Me too!

  • kim

    March 25, 2011 at 11:58 am

    You ARE superwoman. Seriously.

    1. Diana

      March 25, 2011 at 1:46 pm

      No. No way. I hear you on the phone lady. You had 3 sick kids at one (maybe 5) times. I am not a superwoman by any means.

  • Cathy

    March 25, 2011 at 10:53 am

    HAHA I am dying right now, bc I TOTALLY clean my toilets for THAT reason! “what if I get sick and I have to lay my head inside the toilet?” THAT’S how clean I need it 🙂 I’m sorry you had a tough week though!

    1. Diana

      March 25, 2011 at 1:45 pm

      Well, this makes me feel better. Because if I ever need to barf at your house, it’s just one less thing to worry about.

  • melissa

    March 25, 2011 at 10:44 am

    Oh my goodness girl. I am SO SORRY you went through that! #1 food poisoning is the worst feeling ever, #2 with a child depending on you its even more awful #3 when the child is sick its hell on earth #4 doing all of that alone is like the 7th circle of hell. But if you made it through that? Pssshhh, you are super woman and nothing can stop you!!!

    1. Diana

      March 25, 2011 at 1:44 pm

      Lol, I feel very far from super woman today. VERY FAR. 🙂 But thank you.

  • Lauren

    March 25, 2011 at 10:39 am

    Oh man. It felt sick & tired just reading this post. I’m SOO sorry you & babes have had such a crappy week. I pray that you guys make a turn around & have a much better week next week 🙁

    I feel ya on the “baby crack” thing. Claire was on Lortab for a few days following her surgery & OMG, the things she would do when it kicked in were crazy!

    1. Diana

      March 25, 2011 at 11:42 am

      I hear you, it’s like their tiny bodies weren’t meant to handle it all.

  • Janelle

    March 25, 2011 at 10:16 am

    I swear ammoxicillan does that to my boys. Makes ’em nuts!

    If it makes you feel better, I got food poisoning on my way back from China and spent about 7 hours, in a middle seat, alternating puking into a bag and doing my best to get back to the toilets to deal with other *ahem* issues. Thank goodness we didn’t bring the baby along on the trip…!

    I think you’re doing a great job – super woman cape to Diana!

    1. Diana

      March 25, 2011 at 11:41 am

      I can’t even imagine. I seriously get so sick on airplanes anyway – that would have just sent me over the edge.

      I have your posts waiting to be read in my inbox, I saved them because I am so excited to hear all about China. 🙂

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