Megan is a mama to a wonderful 20 month old son. She rambles on about anything and everything at her blog Just Me(gan) and writes books reviews at Library Showgirl. She’s nervously thinking about expanding her family, and would love to hear your thoughts on child spacing and what has worked for your family.
You know what terrifies me even more than becoming a first-time mom? Doing it all again.
My husband and I knew when it was time to try the first time around. We were ready (as ready as we could be), and most importantly, it felt right. This time around, I am constantly questioning myself. Am I ready yet? Is Brayden ready for a sibling? What’s the best spacing?
And of course I deal with all the same feelings other moms do. The ones I know are illogical but still linger in my mind. How will I love another child like I love Brayden? Of course I will. Is it fair to do this to him, to not have my focus solely on him? Yes, he won’t be my sole focus once I have another child, but he will gain a partner in crime. I love my siblings, and I know he will love his.
If we decide to try before Brayden is done nursing, how will this affect our breastfeeding relationship? I have heard of so many stories where pregnancy caused the nursing child to wean for whatever reason. I could dry up, or I might grow to resent breastfeeding. I know most people would tell me he should be weaned anyways. Or if they don’t say that, they feel that even if it does end up in weaning, what’s the big deal? After all, he’s over the age of one. He doesn’t need it anymore, but it still benefits him. It benefits us too. It’s a great source of comfort and one of my strongest parenting tools.
People always point out that the youngest child gets the least amount of time with his or her parents. That is definitely true. At the same time, however (unless you opt for a greater spacing between children), the older child is sometimes forced to grow up before they might be ready. Like I mentioned before, that could manifest in early weaning. I doubt we will wait until the point that Brayden would fully understand what is going on, and not many parents do. It seems like 2-3 years is the average, and we are definitely in that time frame. I just have to have faith that we will know when the time is right.
What are your thoughts? What would be the perfect spacing for your family? What resources, beliefs, or lifestyle choices helped you make or think more on your decision?