The Point of Birth

March 3, 2011

With all the intense debates these days about med free births, drug free labor, vbacs, c-sections, home births, epi’s, doulas, midwives, obstetricians, and birth plans – it seems some of us have a skewed image of what the point of birth really is.

It isn’t a contest.

It isn’t about showing off how tough you are.

It isn’t about being made to feel like a disappointment when your plans change.

It isn’t about being mocked for choosing to be different than the norm.

It isn’t being treated as an emergency waiting to happen.

Birth is natural. Beautiful. Completely normal. It comes in all shapes and sizes, and it isn’t bound to one certain method. It is an ever changing thing; varying with the woman, the values, the circumstances, and the times.

Birth is in water. Birth is standing. Birth is a c-section. Birth is induced, is premature, is miraculous, is painful, is peaceful, is screaming at the top of your lungs and threatening to claw the eyes out of anyone within reach.

It’s personal and full of quick choices. It takes trust in yourself and in your Dr./ midwife/partner. It takes inner strength you never knew you had. It’s being able to feel joy when you were able to do it how you wanted, and acceptance when things turn out differently than you hoped. It is knowing you did your very best.

A woman should never feel or be made to feel anything but pride in the fact that she gave her all to bring a child into this world. No matter what kind of “all” it was.

The point of birth is to safely deliver a child. That is all. The rest – is simply a way to get there.

22 Comments

  • Turning the proverbial corner: C-section recovery | Not Mommy of the Year

    March 21, 2011 at 10:37 am

    […] blogged about this that I won’t attempt it because they’ve all said it better than me (here and here), but let me say this:  You don’t get your mom badge by the way you give birth.  […]

  • Grace @ Arms Wide Open

    March 4, 2011 at 2:35 pm

    Brilliant!

  • Crystal

    March 4, 2011 at 10:49 am

    Good for you! Say it again…and say it loud!!! What’s with all the competition?? It starts w/the birth…and…never…ends. Drives me nuts!!!

    FOund you from Refelction of Something!! What a great post!

  • Branson

    March 3, 2011 at 10:37 pm

    This post was featured as one of The Best of The Best this week!

    http://blmerrill.blogspot.com/2011/03/best-of-best-march-4.html

    1. Diana

      March 4, 2011 at 10:35 am

      So, so sweet Branson. Thank you.

  • kim

    March 3, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    The judging IS terrible. It’s important to be educated on what you want, what is best for you and your body. I’m a total birth junkie, but I also know I’m a total freak :)So what I consider to be ‘normal’ would NOT be for other women.

    1. Diana

      March 4, 2011 at 10:34 am

      Lol, you’re an inspiration in what you did. I love your stories on it. Plus – it worked for you and you don’t get all preachy about it. <3

  • Joanna @ Baby Gator’s Den

    March 3, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    Great post! What a refreshing, non-judgmental post about birth. Thank you!

    1. Diana

      March 4, 2011 at 10:33 am

      So welcome! And I love your blog, I clicked over and think it’s so, so cute.

  • Jen

    March 3, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    I wish I could print this out and hang it in front of our desk at work. And I wish I could stop looking at every patient that walked up to the floor like an emergency waiting to happen!! I’m always so scared of the “what if’s” that I forget to enjoy the process of their birthing experience!! Excellent points here, I love it!!

    1. Diana

      March 4, 2011 at 10:32 am

      I can’t imagine what you must deal with on a daily basis. How many times do you get smacked with the words “Birth Plan?” :p

  • R’s Mom

    March 3, 2011 at 10:20 am

    Thank you! My “birth plan” going into my delivery was to have a healthy baby. The end. Because I know that there are so many variables that can change and affect how that plays out. And as it turned out, I had to have an emergency c-section (I had been in labor for 18 hours, R was stuck, and his heart rate started getting very funky.). And in the end, my birth plan was realized…I left the hospital with a healthy baby boy.

    I was amazed at some of the comments I got afterwards. So other women went so far as to tell me that I hadn’t really given birth because I had a c-section, and that if I had just labored longer, my body would have taken care of things and I could have delivered naturally. It’s just so rude to tell someone else that they did something like giving birth “wrong” or they took the easy way out.

    Like you said, giving birth isn’t a contest. It’s about getting a baby safely into this world. The end.

    1. Diana

      March 4, 2011 at 10:30 am

      Love this. And I am so sorry people made you feel like that. Because you gave birth – you did the best thing for your child. Good for you and for your confidence in that.

  • Jess@Straight Talk

    March 3, 2011 at 10:15 am

    So incredibly true.

  • Desi

    March 3, 2011 at 10:09 am

    I totally agree. Its hard not to question yourself because of all the med-free birth stories and strong feelings on the topic, but I like to keep an open mind.

    1. Diana

      March 4, 2011 at 10:29 am

      I question myself a lot, I was happy I got an epi because I was so stressed, but sometimes I feel like I should have done it another way. And then I think back and realize – at that moment, there was no other way. I did the best I could.

  • Rose

    March 3, 2011 at 9:58 am

    So true. I can’t stand women who get competitive about it or try to tell other women what the “right” way is. Because every situation is different, every birth is different. What matters is that you understand, accept and participate in the birth as much as you can.

    1. Diana

      March 4, 2011 at 10:28 am

      I love that last sentence. That is perfect.

  • LA@TheReelFamily

    March 3, 2011 at 9:15 am

    Beautifully and wonderfully written. AND so very true. As usual Diana you blew it of the park!!!

    1. Diana

      March 4, 2011 at 10:28 am

      Thanks lady. 🙂

  • Mrs. MidAtlantic

    March 3, 2011 at 9:13 am

    Exactly! What does it matter HOW the baby arrives, as long as the baby arrives safely and healthy?

    1. Diana

      March 4, 2011 at 10:27 am

      Absolutely. I don’t get all the stress about it. The baby is here, the end.

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