Straight out of a Movie Scene

April 28, 2011

Yesterday I took Bella to Chipotle for lunch. As we sat down, I noticed the table next to us had two girls in their late teens/early twenties chatting away.

One of them looked like she just stepped off a movie set. Dolce and Gabbana glasses, high heels and skinny jeans, perfect hair and makeup. She’s picking at a salad. Her friend is more low key; sandals, torn up jeans, messy hair.

Being less than 3 feet away, and having a rather poor conversationalist sitting with me, I can’t help but overhear them. I don’t really listen in right away until:

Low Key girl: “I’m just not really sure what to do, it’s so hard, you know? I need to dress thinner I think.”

D&G girl: “You either need to lose weight or get a boob job. It’s that simple.”

At this point I’m all ears. Because really, anyone who uses that kind of logic is worth a listen.

L K: “You’re right.” ::sighs:: “Big boobs make you look so much smaller. It’s like your fat just melts away into…your boobs.”

Ah, the SMARTS behind that statement.

D&G: “Everyone is doing it. Look at Lindsey – no guy even used to look at her and now they all do. What’s that about?”

L K: “I know, she has a boyfriend, did you know?”

D&G: “That’s good, I was so worried. And after that haircut I thought she’d never meet anyone.”

Note to self: Bad hair means life long loneliness.

D&G plays with her cell. The other girl stuffs down a few more bites while she isn’t looking. How are these two friends?

L K: “Sometimes I worry about Trish. She’s so self conscious.”

D&G: ::flippantly:: “I would be self conscious too if I were her. She looks like a troll.”

Z.O.M.G. Is this chick for real? Is this conversation for real? Because it feels like a scene from Mean Girls.

L K turns to look at Bella who has completely swiveled around to see them. “Oh wow, she has the longest lashes!”

“I know,” I say smiling at her. “She’s going to love that later on in life.”

D&G looks up from her phone to glance at Bella. She watches her eat the kids meal (beans, rice, a quesadilla) and I wait for an off the wall comment. Surprisingly I hear:

“She’s adorable. How old?”

“Almost a year and a half,” I say. Perhaps this is going somewhere sweet. Maybe she has a cousin or niece the same age. Surely no one can be as shallow as she is coming off right now…

Her jaw drops and she leans forward with a look of total shock on her face. “Oh my God, no way!” she exclaims. “And she eats real food and, like, everything already!?”

And, scene.

25 Comments

  • molly

    May 24, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    whoa man. just whoa. I think I would have such indigestion after overhearing that conversation.

  • Kelly

    May 2, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    That is comedy gold! It’s pretty shallow and sad, but hilarious!

    Boob job = love
    Bad haircut = spinster

  • Dan

    April 30, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    Is it bad that I’d really like to see D&G in about 20 years, 2 husbands from now?

  • amber

    April 28, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    Someone needs to tell my stomach about that boob thing. Apparently, my boobs forgot to send out the memo.

    And also, yikes. I fear for the future.

  • Janelle

    April 28, 2011 at 5:37 pm

    You know, I had an ad on the side of my facebook page that promised to give me bigger boobs. Want me to share?

  • Kim

    April 28, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    I’m *super glad* you realized that a bad hair cut = lonely for life. That’s a big one!

  • Cathy

    April 28, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    LOL. That’s it

  • Jen

    April 28, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    ::flips hair::

    They are so right…big boobs do make everything else just melt away. Because your boobs overtake them and claim parts that used to be on your stomach as now part of the boob. I am serious…I have a mole that used to be on the side of my abs that is now on the underside of my boob.

  • Lisa @ Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy

    April 28, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    OMG. Well I suppose if she’s in her 20s and still not allowed to eat REAL food, then a one year old definitely shouldn’t. So sad that girls really think abot others like that!

  • Krista

    April 28, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    oh. my word.

    this is funny, and a wee bit sad.

  • Law Momma

    April 28, 2011 at 10:52 am

    just… wow.

  • Not There Yet

    April 28, 2011 at 10:30 am

    That is pretty awesome. And I LOVE Teresa’s comment – sucking on your REAL boob!

  • Alyson

    April 28, 2011 at 10:16 am

    🙂 hehehehe. I love it, I’m so glad you decided to post it because I laughed about it all day yesterday. ::dashes off to get her Dolce and Gabbana shades on::

  • Sarah

    April 28, 2011 at 9:39 am

    LOLz Just LOLz..

  • Jen

    April 28, 2011 at 9:20 am

    This just made my life. My entire life. And now I can get on with my day, amazing.

  • LA@TheReelFamily

    April 28, 2011 at 8:55 am

    ::snort::

    Seriously this makes me laugh so hard. What’s even better is I can imagine these girls perfectly. Oh for my biggest worry in life to be if my boobs made me look skinnier than I was.

  • Tabetha Smelser

    April 28, 2011 at 8:39 am

    That is just absolutely hilarious!

  • The Mrs

    April 28, 2011 at 8:38 am

    Man, I thought she was going to suggest some toddler plastic surgery or something.

    Yikes.

  • Noelle Spooner

    April 28, 2011 at 8:32 am

    OMG my A cups are making me look fat??? I like totally thought all this baby weight was making me look fat!!! I need a super padded nursing bra NOW!!!! 🙂

  • Stephanie

    April 28, 2011 at 8:31 am

    That is too funny. I love eavesdropping on absolutely ridiculous conversations. Haha

  • Elle

    April 28, 2011 at 8:29 am

    That’s hilarious! I especially loved the bad hair = lifetime lonliness part.

  • melissa

    April 28, 2011 at 8:19 am

    And that? is why you make sure to give your child self esteem and depth of character. Because beauty is fleeting and you can’t pull off skinny jeans forever! There’s nothing wrong with looking good and working at it, but not when it consumes you and shapes your view of the world and those in it!

  • themanager

    April 28, 2011 at 8:15 am

    this is perfect! look at what Hollywood is creating beyond it’s own lights….bwahhahahaha<<<that is my evil laugh!

  • D

    April 28, 2011 at 8:12 am

    bahaha!!! That’s pretty damn funny 🙂

  • Teresa

    April 28, 2011 at 8:00 am

    “Omg, like, no way. Shut up! No way!” LOL!!! You should have answered with, “Well, when she isn’t sucking on my real boob.” AHAHAHA!

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