It’s been almost a week since I’ve blogged. Part of this is because we have been so busy in Georgia. Sam and I have taken Bella to see just about everything here.
But part of the break has to do with me pondering, yet again, if I want to continue blogging publicly. I’ve had quite a bit of lash back over random posts lately that people seem to take the wrong way. While my policy on here is to delete and then block comments that just seem to want a rude or angry response back, it doesn’t mean I don’t read them and they don’t sting. Especially irritating is when a fake email is used and I can’t respond to correct their misunderstanding.
Like the fact that I do not have a full time nanny, and hiring someone 3 hours a week so I can grocery shop because my husband is gone for 4 1/2 months does not make me a lazy baby.
I don’t like to deal with nastiness and confrontation on here. I don’t blog to piss people off. Many times what I put on here is over dramatic because it’s more entertaining. No one cares about a blog that posts how lovely and perfect everything is all the time. And my life is rarely boring anyway. I’m too much of a spaz, klutz, and high strung to have that ever happen.
There is a part of me that wants to start over. I don’t know if I want to start over here or with a whole new, anonymous blog. I don’t want to care about ads, comments, stats, or wondering if what I say is going to offend someone.
I want to get on here and write like no one knows who I am. I’m finding that harder and harder to do. I have no interest in turning blogging into a job. This is something I do because I love it, it connects me to other people around the world, and it fulfills my need to write and to create. It’s not somewhere I want to dread getting comments from or wonder if what I posted was boring or too personal or irritating to someone. This blog is me, but it’s starting to feel like a very censored me again.
And since it’s not a job or a need to stir the pot with what i write, but simply my thoughts, it should be easy to keep it just the way I want it.