Spanx at 20,000 feet

April 16, 2011

As I write this, I am flying with a sleeping baby in my arms. Surprisingly, she has done really well. I actually had a small heart attack as we took off because I hate flying and am convinced I will die.

Yesterday I went shopping for a few extras before we left. In Kohls, I start looking at bras. Because these suckers (pun not intended) need some support.

All of a sudden, I stumble upon what looks like a wetsuit. Skin tight tank top that says something about “slimming”. As I stare at it, I begin to realize this is a Spanx. One of those things I used to mock and swear only old saggy people wore.

Obviously this attitude was pre-baby.

The picture shows a happy, thin woman dancing. And somehow, as much as I’m thinking how wrong this is that woman are forced to feel like they must wear these, I am intrigued. I walk away, and then really start thinking it over.

My stomach is the thing I dislike the most on myself. So in wearing this – it would help. I might feel, well, comfortable in shirts and dresses. I might be a little less porky.

I decide to buy one. Nude coloring so no one knows.

I crumple it into a ball and head for the checkout.

This morning at 3am, I put it on under my shirt. Figuring if it didn’t work, no harm done. Maybe it was just a joke. And then? I looked in the mirror.

Ladies

Get.your.Spanx.on.

I feel like a new person. I’m wearing it right now, and it’s comfy and totally invisible. I can’t tell you how much I love this.

So as the turbulence bounces us up and down, I know that should the plane pull a “Lost” on me and break in half (I’m on the tail end so kiss me goodbye) I will look great going down. Someone will find me in the water and think, “This chick looks fantastic.”

Also – if they happen to pull me out, please note I would like to wear Spanx under my dress in the coffin.

13 Comments

  • Janelle

    April 20, 2011 at 10:04 am

    I’m inspired. I gave myself 9 months after baby #1 (9 months up, 9 months down…), and a full year after babe #2, but his birthday is this Friday and the tummy could use some…assistance. I want details!

  • Katrina

    April 19, 2011 at 2:37 pm

    I am SO going to have to get one of those!!! I hate my post-baby stomach. I keep thinking that I need to work on it but I never do. I just hate that I constantly look like I’m still pregnant even though my youngest is 7 months. Maybe this would make feel better 🙂

  • Debby

    April 18, 2011 at 10:08 am

    I agree with Stephanie @ Confessions of a Trophy Wife. I have 2 Spanx (the official kind named Spanx), and they are so uncomfortable! I even wore one the other day and my husband told me I looked stuffed into my clothes! They may smooth me out, but they only really help if I have on a dress. Any time I have on a pants/shirt, I spend the whole day paranoid that my shirt will lift up and reveal the granny panty spanks underneath! Plus they also roll down from my bra, so I regularly have to go to the bathroom to pull them back up and fix them under my bra so they stay. I lost those strap things you’re supposed to use to attach the spanx to your bra, which are a pain anyway because you have to unclip them every time you go to the bathroom. What exact brand/style did you get that works so well?

  • Stephanie @ Confessions of a Trophy Wife

    April 17, 2011 at 6:06 pm

    I’ve yet to find a Spanx-like product that doesn’t make me feel like a stuffed sausage. As in, so uncomfortable I can’t even sacrifice that level of comfort on a day to day basis (I mean, special occasions are a whole different story. Pain is beauty, eh?), but since you have nothing but good things to say about this product I’m intrigued!

    You’ll have to share with us the specifics on this thing. Brand/style?

  • The Mrs

    April 17, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    BWA-HA-HAH! I call mine a girdle because I want people to think it’s just a joke and that I don’t take it seriously.

    But it’s not. And I do.

  • Jen

    April 16, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    I bought a spanx control tank top once, and it kept rolling up, so I had to keep pulling it down, and that totally defeated the purpose of having it be inconspicuous. I would love to find one that could control the extra baby fluff, which just will not go away no matter how much weight I lose. I’m convinced it’s actually extra skin, and I should just deal with it. Have a fabulous trip, I know you and Bella are super excited to visit with Sam!!

  • Dallas

    April 16, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    Sigh…I hear so much about these and have absolutely refused to even look at them. Are they really that great? I worry about the “girdle-effect” – in that you wear them so much that your muscles forget how to work and you now have permanent saggy, useless, atrophied muscles, and end up with even worse muffin-top than you did before.

    That being said, I’m sick of every top I buy being the empire-waisted, maternity-looking type that hides the muffin top.

    Oh, what is a girl to do???

    Dallas

  • Kim

    April 16, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    I must know what this is!! I haven’t found a tank that holds me in that doesn’t roll up and reveal a whole new level of muffin top!

  • Lori

    April 16, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    I am cracking up! Confession- I am a twenty-something NOT post-baby and obsessed with Spanx tights and panty hose…. They are the best under fitted dresses or last years almost too snug skirt. 🙂 No shame in some spanx. 🙂

  • Noelle S.

    April 16, 2011 at 10:53 am

    Hehe. I recently bought a pair of the Spanx shorts to keep my post c-section belly in check. Love them so far. I am so happy your flight is going so good that you have time to blog!!

  • Kat

    April 16, 2011 at 9:53 am

    It’s amazing how our attitudes change after a few years and a couple of babies, LOL! I’m at a point in my where, if something makes me feel good, then it’s a great thing. Enjoy your Spanx and have a great trip 🙂

  • Beth

    April 16, 2011 at 9:16 am

    Do a giveaway!!!! 😉
    Have a great flight!

  • Alicia

    April 16, 2011 at 8:57 am

    Love this!!! Great review.

    And if you do land on the lost island, find Sawyer for me 😉

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