When I write here, the words come easily. Perhaps I am used to the space, my little WordPress home. Perhaps it’s because when I write here, I think of nothing and no one. I write for me and for my thoughts be to put down.
So freelancing should be the same, right? After all, it’s the same idea. Writing down my words and thoughts.
Only it’s much harder.
I can’t seem to get past the fear of doing it all wrong. From the writing to the pitches. For several nights I’d get online and simply stare at the submissions pages of places I wanted to be published in. Reading and rereading what I already knew to do, but convincing myself that I really didn’t. It was perplexing how writing things should all of the sudden become so difficult.
I tried to write it in this space. But then I realized – it’s not the same. I write knowing most of you have an idea of what I’m talking about. Anything unknown can be linked up for clarification.
Not so with freelancing. I have to make it more impersonal, less about me and more about a topic. An idea.
With the pitches, I just worry someone will read mine and think, “What? I don’t even know what this is” and delete it.
Like I would even know.
But still, the thought of pitching something unclear and having their first impression of me be one of my naivety and awkwardness is not something I want. I know I can write what I’m pitching, I know they would like it. However, I have to sell it in 2-4 sentences and that’s where I get stuck.
I keep telling myself I have to start somewhere. I will fail but I’ll learn from my mistakes. If I never do this I will never forgive myself for not trying.
Friday night I sent off my first real, organized pitch. I love the idea I have, I’m not sure I portrayed it correctly but if they don’t accept it, I’ll revamp it and send it again elsewhere. And again. Practice makes perfect right?
I plan on getting rejections. Sharing them here, which stings and is a tad humiliating but everyone gets rejected in writing. J.K. Rowling had Harry Potter rejected 12 times – so really – it’s going to happen to me a lot then.
Can you imagine the regret of the people who turned her down?
I mean, really?